CHAPTER XXXIV 820 Pierre looked around him with bloodshot eyes and did not reply. His face probably looked very terrible, for the officer said something in a whisper and four more Uhlans left the ranks and placed themselves on both sides of Pierre. \ Do you speak French?\ the officer asked again, keeping at a distance from Pierre. \ Call the interpreter.\ A little man in Russian civilian clothes rode out from the ranks, and by his clothes and manner of speaking Pierre at once knew him to be a French salesman from one of the Moscow shops. \ He does not look like a common man,\ said the interpreter, after a searching look at Pierre. \ Ah, he
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looks very much like an incendiary,\ remarked the officer. \ And ask him who he is,\ he added. \ Who are you?\ asked the interpreter in poor Russian. \ You must answer the chief.\ \ I will not tell you who I am. I am your prisoner–take me!\ Pierre suddenly replied in French. \ Ah, ah!\ muttered the officer with a frown. \ Well then, march!\ A crowd had collected round the Uhlans. Nearest to Pierre stood the pockmarked peasant woman with the little girl, and when the patrol started she moved forward. \ Where are they taking you to, you poor dear?\ said she. \ And the little girl, the little girl, what am I to do with her if she s not theirs?\
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said the woman. \ What does that woman want?\ asked the officer. Pierre was as if intoxicated. His elation increased at the sight of the little girl he had saved. \ What does she want?\ he murmured. \ She is bringing me my daughter whom I have just saved from the flames,\ said he. \ Good-by!\ And without knowing how this aimless lie had escaped him, he went along with resolute and triumphant steps between the French soldiers. The French patrol was one of those sent out through the various streets of Moscow by Durosnel s order to put a stop to the pillage, and especially to catch the incendiaries who, according to the general opinion which had that day originated among the higher French officers, were the cause
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of the conflagrations. After marching through a number of streets the patrol arrested five more Russian suspects: a small shopkeeper, two seminary students, a peasant, and a house serf, besides several looters. But of all these various suspected characters, Pierre was considered to be the most suspicious of all. When they had all been brought for the night to a large house on the Zubov Rampart that was being used as a guardhouse, Pierre was placed apart under strict guard. BOOK TWELVE: 1812 CHAPTER I CHAPTER I In Petersburg at that time a complicated struggle was being carried on with greater heat than ever in the 821 highest circles, between the parties of Rumyantsev, the French, Marya Fedorovna, the Tsarevich, and others,
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drowned as usual by the buzzing of the court drones. But the calm, luxurious life of Petersburg, concerned only about phantoms and reflections of real life, went on in its old way and made it hard, except by a great effort, to realize the danger and the difficult position of the Russian people. There were the same receptions and balls, the same French theater, the same court interests and service interests and intrigues as usual. Only in the very highest circles were attempts made to keep in mind the difficulties of the actual position. Stories were whispered of how differently the two Empresses behaved in these difficult circumstances. The Empress Marya, concerned for the welfare of the charitable and educational institutions under her patronage, had given directions that they should all be removed to Kazan, and the things belonging to these institutions
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had already been packed up. The Empress Elisabeth, however, when asked what instructions she would be pleased to give–with her characteristic Russian patriotism had replied that she could give no directions about state institutions for that was the affair of the sovereign, but as far as she personally was concerned she would be the last to quit Petersburg. At Anna Pavlovna s on the twenty-sixth of August, the very day of the battle of Borodino, there was a soiree, the chief feature of which was to be the reading of a letter from His Lordship the Bishop when sending the Emperor an icon of the Venerable Sergius. It was regarded as a model of ecclesiastical, patriotic eloquence. Prince Vasili himself, famed for his elocution, was to read it. (He used to read at the Empress .) The art of his
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reading was supposed to lie in rolling out the words, quite independently of their meaning, in a loud and singsong voice alternating between a despairing wail and a tender murmur, so that the wail fell quite at random on one word and the murmur on another. This reading, as was always the case at Anna Pavlovna s soirees, had a political significance. That evening she expected several important personages who had to be made ashamed of their visits to the French theater and aroused to a patriotic temper. A good many people had already arrived, but Anna Pavlovna, not yet seeing all those whom she wanted in her drawing room, did not let the reading begin but wound up the springs of a general conversation. The news of the day in Petersburg was the illness of Countess Bezukhova. She had
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fallen ill unexpectedly a few days previously, had missed several gatherings of which she was usually ornament, and was said to be receiving no one, and instead of the celebrated Petersburg doctors who usually attended her had entrusted herself to some Italian doctor who was treating her in some new and unusual way. They all knew very well that the enchanting countess illness arose from an inconvenience resulting from marrying two husbands at the same time, and that the Italian s cure consisted in removing such inconvenience; but in Anna Pavlovna s presence no one dared to think of this or even appear to know it. \ They say the poor countess is very ill. The doctor says it is angina pectoris.\ \ Angina? Oh, that s a terrible illness!\
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\ They say that the rivals are reconciled, thanks to the angina…\ and the word angina was repeated with great satisfaction. \ The count is pathetic, they say. He cried like a child when the doctor told him the case was dangerous.\ \ Oh, it would be a terrible loss, she is an enchanting woman.\ \ You are speaking of the poor countess?\ said Anna Pavlovna, coming up just then. \ I sent to ask for news, and hear that she is a little better. Oh, she is certainly the most charming woman in the world,\ she went on, with a smile at her own enthusiasm. \ We belong to different camps, but that does not prevent my esteeming CHAPTER I her as
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she deserves. She is very unfortunate!\ added Anna Pavlovna. 822 Supposing that by these words Anna Pavlovna was somewhat lifting the veil from the secret of the countess malady, an unwary young man ventured to express surprise that well known doctors had not been called in and that the countess was being attended by a charlatan who might employ dangerous remedies. \ Your information maybe better than mine,\ Anna Pavlovna suddenly and venomously retorted on the inexperienced young man, \ but I know on good authority that this doctor is a very learned and able man. He is private physician to the Queen of Spain.\ And having thus demolished the young man, Anna Pavlovna turned to another group where Bilibin was talking about the Austrians:
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having wrinkled up his face he was evidently preparing to smooth it out again and utter one of his mots. \ I think it is delightful,\ he said, referring to a diplomatic note that had been sent to Vienna with some Austrian banners captured from the French by Wittgenstein, \ the hero of Petropol\ as he was then called in Petersburg. \ What? What s that?\ asked Anna Pavlovna, securing silence for the mot, which she had heard before. And Bilibin repeated the actual words of the diplomatic dispatch, which he had himself composed. \ The Emperor returns these Austrian banners,\ said Bilibin, \ friendly banners gone astray and found on a wrong path,\ and his brow became smooth again. \ Charming, charming!\ observed Prince
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Vasili. \ The path to Warsaw, perhaps,\ Prince Hippolyte remarked loudly and unexpectedly. Everybody looked at him, understanding what he meant. Prince Hippolyte himself glanced around with amused surprise. He knew no more than the others what his words meant. During his diplomatic career he had more than once noticed that such utterances were received as very witty, and at every opportunity he uttered in that way the first words that entered his head. \ It may turn out very well,\ he thought, \ but if not, they ll know how to arrange matters.\ And really, during the awkward silence that ensued, that insufficiently patriotic person entered whom Anna Pavlovna had been waiting for and wished to convert, and she, smiling and shaking a finger at Hippolyte, invited Prince Vasili to the table and bringing him two
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CHAPTER IV Dokhturov, and Raevski agreed with Bennigsen. Whether feeling it necessary to make a sacrifice before 730 abandoning the capital or guided by other, personal considerations, these generals seemed not to understand that this council could not alter the inevitable course of events and that Moscow was in effect already abandoned. The other generals, however, understood it and, leaving aside the question of Moscow, of the direction the army should take in its retreat. Malasha, who kept her eyes fixed on what was going on before her, understood the meaning of the council differently. It seemed to her that it was only a personal struggle between \ Granddad\ and \ Long-coat\ as she termed Bennigsen. She saw that they grew spiteful when they spoke
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to one another, and in her heart she sided with \ Granddad.\ In the midst of the conversation she noticed \ Granddad\ give Bennigsen a quick, subtle glance, and then to her joys he saw that \ Granddad\ said something to \ Long-coat\ which settled him. Bennigsen suddenly reddened and paced angrily up and down the room. What so affected him was Kutuzov s calm and quiet comment on the advantage or disadvantage of Bennigsen s proposal to move troops by night from the right to the left flank to attack the French right wing. \ Gentlemen,\ said Kutuzov, \ I cannot approve of the count s plan. Moving troops in close proximity to an enemy is always dangerous, and military history supports that view. For instance…\ Kutuzov seemed to reflect, searching for an example,
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then with a clear, naive look at Bennigsen he added: \ Oh yes; take the battle of Friedland, which I think the count well remembers, and which was… not fully successful, only because our troops were rearranged too near the enemy…\ There followed a momentary pause, which seemed very long to them all. The discussion recommenced, but pauses frequently occurred and they all felt that there was no more to be said. During one of these pauses Kutuzov heaved a deep sigh as if preparing to speak. They all looked at him. \ Well, gentlemen, I see that it is I who will have to pay for the broken crockery,\ said he, and rising slowly he moved to the table. \ Gentlemen, I have heard your views. Some of you will not
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agree with me. But I,\ he paused, \ by the authority entrusted to me by my Sovereign and country, order a retreat.\ After that the generals began to disperse with the solemnity and circumspect silence of people who are leaving, after a funeral. Some of the generals, in low tones and in a strain very different from the way they had spoken during the council, communicated something to their commander in chief. Malasha, who had long been expected for supper, climbed carefully backwards down from the oven, her bare little feet catching at its projections, and slipping between the legs of the generals she darted out of the room. When he had dismissed the generals Kutuzov sat a long time with his elbows on the table, thinking always of the same
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terrible question: \ When, when did the abandonment of Moscow become inevitable? When was that done which settled the matter? And who was to blame for it?\ \ I did not expect this,\ said he to his adjutant Schneider when the latter came in late that night. \ I did not expect this! I did not think this would happen.\ \ You should take some rest, your Serene Highness,\ replied Schneider. \ But no! They shall eat horseflesh yet, like the Turks!\ exclaimed Kutuzov without replying, striking the table with his podgy fist. \ They shall too, if only…\ CHAPTER V CHAPTER V At that very time, in circumstances even more important than retreating without a battle, namely the
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evacuation and burning of Moscow, Rostopchin, who is usually represented as being the instigator of that event, acted in an altogether different manner from Kutuzov. 731 After the battle of Borodino the abandonment and burning of Moscow was as inevitable as the retreat of the army beyond Moscow without fighting. Every Russian might have predicted it, not by reasoning but by the feeling implanted in each of us and in our fathers. The same thing that took place in Moscow had happened in all the towns and villages on Russian soil beginning with Smolensk, without the participation of Count Rostopchin and his broadsheets. The people awaited the enemy unconcernedly, did not riot or become excited or tear anyone to pieces, but faced its fate, feeling within it
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the strength to find what it should do at that most difficult moment. And as soon as the enemy drew near the wealthy classes went away abandoning their property, while the poorer remained and burned and destroyed what was left. The consciousness that this would be so and would always be so was and is present in the heart of every Russian. And a consciousness of this, and a foreboding that Moscow would be taken, was present in Russian Moscow society in 1812. Those who had quitted Moscow already in July and at the beginning of August showed that they expected this. Those who went away, taking what they could and abandoning their houses and half their belongings, did so from the latent patriotism which expresses itself not by phrases or by giving one s children to save the fatherland
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and similar unnatural exploits, but unobtrusively, simply, organically, and therefore in the way that always produces the most powerful results. \ It is disgraceful to run away from danger; only cowards are running away from Moscow,\ they were told. In his broadsheets Rostopchin impressed on them that to leave Moscow was shameful. They were ashamed to be called cowards, ashamed to leave, but still they left, knowing it had to be done. Why did they go? It is impossible to suppose that Rostopchin had scared them by his accounts of horrors Napoleon had committed in conquered countries. The first people to go away were the rich educated people who knew quite well that Vienna and Berlin had remained intact and that during Napoleon s occupation the inhabitants had spent their time pleasantly in the company of the charming Frenchmen
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whom the Russians, and especially the Russian ladies, then liked so much. They went away because for Russians there could be no question as to whether things would go well or ill under French rule in Moscow. It was out of the question to be under French rule, it would be the worst thing that could happen. They went away even before the battle of Borodino and still more rapidly after it, despite Rostopchin s calls to defend Moscow or the announcement of his intention to take the wonder-working icon of the Iberian Mother of God and go to fight, or of the balloons that were to destroy the French, and despite all the nonsense Rostopchin wrote in his broadsheets. They knew that it was for the army to fight, and that if it could not succeed it would not
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do to take young ladies and house serfs to the Three Hills quarter of Moscow to fight Napoleon, and that they must go away, sorry as they were to abandon their property to destruction. They went away without thinking of the tremendous significance of that immense and wealthy city being given over to destruction, for a great city with wooden buildings was certain when abandoned by its inhabitants to be burned. They went away each on his own account, and yet it was only in consequence of their going away that the momentous event was accomplished that will always remain the greatest glory of the Russian people. The lady who, afraid of being stopped by Count Rostopchin s orders, had already in June moved with her Negroes and her women jesters from Moscow to her Saratov estate, with a vague consciousness that
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she was not Bonaparte s servant, was really, simply, and truly carrying out the great work which saved Russia. But Count Rostopchin, who now taunted those who left Moscow and now had the CHAPTER V government offices removed; now distributed quite useless weapons to the drunken rabble; now had processions displaying the icons, and now forbade Father Augustin to remove icons or the relics of saints; 732 now seized all the private carts in Moscow and on one hundred and thirty-six of them removed the balloon that was being constructed by Leppich; now hinted that he would burn Moscow and related how he had set fire to his own house; now wrote a proclamation to the French solemnly upbraiding them for having destroyed his Orphanage; now claimed
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the glory of having hinted that he would burn Moscow and now repudiated the deed; now ordered the people to catch all spies and bring them to him, and now reproached them for doing so; now expelled all the French residents from Moscow, and now allowed Madame Aubert-Chalme (the center of the whole French colony in Moscow) to remain, but ordered the venerable old postmaster Klyucharev to be arrested and exiled for no particular offense; now assembled the people at the Three Hills to fight the French and now, to get rid of them, handed over to them a man to be killed and himself drove away by a back gate; now declared that he would not survive the fall of Moscow, and now wrote French verses in albums concerning his share in the affair–this man did not understand the meaning of what
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was happening but merely wanted to do something himself that would astonish people, to perform some patriotically heroic feat; and like a child he made sport of the momentous, and unavoidable event–the abandonment and burning of Moscow–and tried with his puny hand now to speed and now to stay the enormous, popular tide that bore him along with it. CHAPTER VI CHAPTER VI Helene, having returned with the court from Vilna to Petersburg, found herself in a difficult position. 733 In Petersburg she had enjoyed the special protection of a grandee who occupied one of the highest posts in the Empire. In Vilna she had formed an intimacy with a young foreign prince. When she returned to Petersburg both the magnate
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and the prince were there, and both claimed their rights. Helene was faced by a new problem–how to preserve her intimacy with both without offending either. What would have seemed difficult or even impossible to another woman did not cause the least embarrassment to Countess Bezukhova, who evidently deserved her reputation of being a very clever woman. Had she attempted concealment, or tried to extricate herself from her awkward position by cunning, she would have spoiled her case by acknowledging herself guilty. But Helene, like a really great man who can do whatever he pleases, at once assumed her own position to be correct, as she sincerely believed it to be, and that everyone else was to blame. The first time the young foreigner allowed himself to reproach her, she lifted her beautiful head and, half turning
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to him, said firmly: \ That s just like a man–selfish and cruel! I expected nothing else. A woman sacrifices herself for you, she suffers, and this is her reward! What right have you, monseigneur, to demand an account of my attachments and friendships? He is a man who has been more than a father to me!\ The prince was about to say something, but Helene interrupted him. \ Well, yes,\ said she, \ it may be that he has other sentiments for me than those of a father, but that is not a reason for me to shut my door on him. I am not a man, that I should repay kindness with ingratitude! Know, monseigneur, that in all that relates to my intimate feelings I render account only to God and to my conscience,\ she concluded,
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laying her hand on her beautiful, fully expanded bosom and looking up to heaven. \ But for heaven s sake listen to me!\ \ Marry me, and I will be your slave!\ \ But that s impossible.\ \ You won t deign to demean yourself by marrying me, you…\ said Helene, beginning to cry. The prince tried to comfort her, but Helene, as if quite distraught, said through her tears that there was nothing to prevent her marrying, that there were precedents (there were up to that time very few, but she mentioned Napoleon and some other exalted personages), that she had never been her husband s wife, and that she had been sacrificed. \ But the law, religion…\ said the prince, already
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yielding. \ The law, religion… What have they been invented for if they can t arrange that?\ said Helene. The prince was surprised that so simple an idea had not occurred to him, and he applied for advice to the holy brethren of the Society of Jesus, with whom he was on intimate terms. A few days later at one of those enchanting fetes which Helene gave at her country house on the Stone Island, the charming Monsieur de Jobert, a man no longer young, with snow white hair and brilliant black eyes, a Jesuit a robe courte* was presented to her, and in the garden by the light of the illuminations and to the sound of music talked to her for a long time of the love of God, of Christ, of the Sacred Heart,
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and of the CHAPTER VI 734 consolations the one true Catholic religion affords in this world and the next. Helene was touched, and more than once tears rose to her eyes and to those of Monsieur de Jobert and their voices trembled. A dance, for which her partner came to seek her, put an end to her discourse with her future directeur de conscience, but the next evening Monsieur de Jobert came to see Helene when she was alone, and after that often came again. *Lay member of the Society of Jesus. One day he took the countess to a Roman Catholic church, where she knelt down before the altar to which she was led. The enchanting, middle-aged Frenchman laid his hands on
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her head and, as she herself afterward described it, she felt something like a fresh breeze wafted into her soul. It was explained to her that this was la grace. After that a long-frocked abbe was brought to her. She confessed to him, and he absolved her from her sins. Next day she received a box containing the Sacred Host, which was left at her house for her to partake of. A few days later Helene learned with pleasure that she had now been admitted to the true Catholic Church and that in a few days the Pope himself would hear of her and would send her a certain document. All that was done around her and to her at this time, all the attention devoted to her by so many clever men and expressed in such pleasant,
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refined ways, and the state of dove-like purity she was now in (she wore only white dresses and white ribbons all that time) gave her pleasure, but her pleasure did not cause her for a moment to forget her aim. And as it always happens in contests of cunning that a stupid person gets the better of cleverer ones, Helene- having realized that the main object of all these words and all this trouble was, after converting her to Catholicism, to obtain money from her for Jesuit institutions (as to which she received indications)- before parting with her money insisted that the various operations necessary to free her from her husband should be performed. In her view the aim of every religion was merely to preserve certain proprieties while affording satisfaction to human desires. And with this aim, in one of her talks
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with her Father Confessor, she insisted on an answer to the question, in how far was she bound by her marriage? They were sitting in the twilight by a window in the drawing room. The scent of flowers came in at the window. Helene was wearing a white dress, transparent over her shoulders and bosom. The abbe, a well-fed man with a plump, clean-shaven chin, a pleasant firm mouth, and white hands meekly folded on his knees, sat close to Helene and, with a subtle smile on his lips and a peaceful look of delight at her beauty, occasionally glanced at her face as he explained his opinion on the subject. Helene with an uneasy smile looked at his curly hair and his plump, clean-shaven, blackish cheeks and every moment expected the conversation to take a fresh turn. But the
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abbe, though he evidently enjoyed the beauty of his companion, was absorbed in his mastery of the matter. The course of the Father Confessor s arguments ran as follows: \ Ignorant of the import of what you were undertaking, you made a vow of conjugal fidelity to a man who on his part, by entering the married state without faith in the religious significance of marriage, committed an act of sacrilege. That marriage lacked the dual significance it should have had. Yet in spite of this your vow was binding. You swerved from it. What did you commit by so acting? A venial, or a mortal, sin? A venial sin, for you acted without evil intention. If now you married again with the object of bearing children, your sin might be forgiven. But the question is again a twofold one:
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firstly…\ But suddenly Helene, who was getting bored, said with one of her bewitching smiles: \ But I think that having espoused the true religion I cannot be bound by what a false religion laid upon me.\ The director of her conscience was astounded at having the case presented to him thus with the simplicity of Columbus egg. He was delighted at the unexpected rapidity of his pupil s progress, but could not abandon the edifice of argument he had laboriously constructed. CHAPTER VI 735 \ Let us understand one another, Countess,\ said he with a smile, and began refuting his spiritual daughter s arguments. CHAPTER VII CHAPTER VII
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736 Helene understood that the question was very simple and easy from the ecclesiastical point of view, and that her directors were making difficulties only because they were apprehensive as to how the matter would be regarded by the secular authorities. So she decided that it was necessary to prepare the opinion of society. She provoked the jealousy of the elderly magnate and told him what she had told her other suitor; that is, she put the matter so that the only way for him to obtain a right over her was to marry her. The elderly magnate was at first as much taken aback by this suggestion of marriage with a woman whose husband was alive, as the younger man had been, but Helene s imperturbable conviction that it was
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as simple and natural as marrying a maiden had its effect on him too. Had Helene herself shown the least sign of hesitation, shame, or secrecy, her cause would certainly have been lost; but not only did she show no signs of secrecy or shame, on the contrary, with good-natured naivete she told her intimate friends (and these were all Petersburg) that both the prince and the magnate had proposed to her and that she loved both and was afraid of grieving either. A rumor immediately spread in Petersburg, not that Helene wanted to be divorced from her husband (had such a report spread many would have opposed so illegal an intention) but simply that the unfortunate and interesting Helene was in doubt which of the two men she should marry. The question was no longer whether this was possible,
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but only which was the better match and how the matter would be regarded at court. There were, it is true, some rigid individuals unable to rise to the height of such a question, who saw in the project a desecration of the sacrament of marriage, but there were not many such and they remained silent, while the majority were interested in Helene s good fortune and in the question which match would be the more advantageous. Whether it was right or wrong to remarry while one had a husband living they did not discuss, for that question had evidently been settled by people \ wiser than you or me,\ as they said, and to doubt the correctness of that decision would be to risk exposing one s stupidity and incapacity to live in society. Only Marya Dmitrievna Akhrosimova, had
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come to Petersburg that summer to see one of her sons, allowed herself plainly to express an opinion contrary to the general one. Meeting Helene at a ball she stopped her in the middle of the room and, amid general silence, said in her gruff voice: \ So wives of living men have started marrying again! Perhaps you think you have invented a novelty? You have been forestalled, my dear! It was thought of long ago. It is done in all the brothels,\ and with these words Marya Dmitrievna, turning up her wide sleeves with her usual threatening gesture and glancing sternly round, moved across the room. Though people were afraid of Marya Dmitrievna she was regarded in Petersburg as a buffoon, and so of what she had said they only noticed, and repeated in a whisper, the one coarse
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word she had used, supposing the whole sting of her remark to lie in that word. Prince Vasili, who of late very often forgot what he had said and repeated one and the same thing a hundred times, remarked to his daughter whenever he chanced to see her: \ Helene, I have a word to say to you,\ and he would lead her aside, drawing her hand downward. \ I have heard of certain projects concerning… you know. Well my dear child, you know how your father s heart rejoices to know that you… You have suffered so much…. But, my dear child, consult only your own heart. That is all I have to say,\ and concealing his unvarying emotion he would press his cheek against his daughter s and move away. Bilibin,
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who had not lost his reputation of an exceedingly clever man, and who was one of the disinterested friends so brilliant a woman as Helene always has–men friends who can never change into lovers–once gave her his view of the matter at a small and intimate gathering. CHAPTER VII 737 \ Listen, Bilibin,\ said Helene (she always called friends of that sort by their surnames), and she touched his coat sleeve with her white, beringed fingers. \ Tell me, as you would a sister, what I ought to do. Which of the two?\ Bilibin wrinkled up the skin over his eyebrows and pondered, with a smile on his lips. \ You are not taking me unawares, you know,\ said he.
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\ As a true friend, I have thought and thought again about your affair. You see, if you marry the prince\ –he meant the younger man–and he crooked one finger, \ you forever lose the chance of marrying the other, and you will displease the court besides. (You know there is some kind of connection.) But if you marry the old count you will make his last days happy, and as widow of the Grand… the prince would no longer be making a mesalliance by marrying you,\ and Bilibin smoothed out his forehead. \ That s a true friend!\ said Helene beaming, and again touching Bilibin s sleeve. \ But I love them, you know, and don t want to distress either of them. I would give my life for the happiness of them both.\
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Bilibin shrugged his shoulders, as much as to say that not even he could help in that difficulty. \ Une maitresse-femme!* That s what is called putting things squarely. She would like to be married to all three at the same time,\ thought he. *A masterly woman. \ But tell me, how will your husband look at the matter?\ Bilibin asked, his reputation being so well established that he did not fear to ask so naive a question. \ Will he agree?\ \ Oh, he loves me so!\ said Helene, who for some reason imagined that Pierre too loved her. \ He will do anything for me.\ Bilibin puckered his skin in preparation for something witty. \ Even divorce you?\ said he.
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Helene laughed. Among those who ventured to doubt the justifiability of the proposed marriage was Helene s mother, Princess Kuragina. She was continually tormented by jealousy of her daughter, and now that jealousy concerned a subject near to her own heart, she could not reconcile herself to the idea. She consulted a Russian priest as to the possibility of divorce and remarriage during a husband s lifetime, and the priest told her that it was impossible, and to her delight showed her a text in the Gospel which (as it seemed to him) plainly remarriage while the husband is alive. Armed with these arguments, which appeared to her unanswerable, she drove to her daughter s early one morning so as to find her alone. Having listened to her mother s objections, Helene smiled
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blandly and ironically. \ But it says plainly: Whosoever shall marry her that is divorced… \ said the old princess. \ Ah, Maman, ne dites pas de betises. Vous ne comprenez rein. Dans ma position j ai des devoirs,\ * said Helene changing from Russian, in which language she always felt that her case did not sound quite clear, into French which suited it better. CHAPTER VII *\ Oh, Mamma, don t talk nonsense! You don t understand anything. In my position I have obligations. \ But, my dear….\ 738 \ Oh, Mamma, how is it you don t understand that the Holy Father, who has the right to grant dispensations…\ Just
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then the lady companion who lived with Helene came in to announce that His Highness was in the ballroom and wished to see her. \ Non, dites-lui que je ne veux pas le voir, que je suis furieuse contre lui, parce qu il m a manque parole.\ * *\ No, tell him I don t wish to see him, I am furious with him for not keeping his word to me.\ \ Comtesse, a tout peche misericorde,\ * said a fair-haired young man with a long face and nose, as he entered the room. *\ Countess, there is mercy for every sin.\ The old princess rose respectfully and curtsied. The young man who had entered took no notice of her. The princess nodded to her daughter and sidled out
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of the room. \ Yes, she is right,\ thought the old princess, all her convictions dissipated by the appearance of His Highness. \ She is right, but how is it that we in our irrecoverable youth did not know it? Yet it is so simple,\ she thought as she got into her carriage. By the beginning of August Helene s affairs were clearly defined and she wrote a letter to her husband–who, as she imagined, loved her very much–informing him of her intention to marry N.N. and of her having embraced the one true faith, and asking him to carry out all the formalities necessary for a divorce, which would be explained to him by the bearer of the letter. And so I pray God to have you, my friend, in His holy and
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powerful keeping–Your friend Helene. This letter was brought to Pierre s house when he was on the field of Borodino. CHAPTER VIII CHAPTER VIII 739 Toward the end of the battle of Borodino, Pierre, having run down from Raevski s battery a second time, made his way through a gully to Knyazkovo with a crowd of soldiers, reached the dressing station, and seeing blood and hearing cries and groans hurried on, still entangled in the crowds of soldiers. The one thing he now desired with his whole soul was to get away quickly from the terrible sensations amid which he had lived that day and return to ordinary conditions of life and sleep quietly in a room in his own
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bed. He felt that only in the ordinary conditions of life would he be able to understand himself and all he had seen and felt. But such ordinary conditions of life were nowhere to be found. Though shells and bullets did not whistle over the road along which he was going, still on all sides there was what there had been on the field of battle. There were still the same suffering, exhausted, and sometimes strangely indifferent faces, the same blood, the same soldiers overcoats, the same sounds of firing which, though distant now, still aroused terror, and besides this there were the foul air and the dust. Having gone a couple of miles along the Mozhaysk road, Pierre sat down by the roadside. Dusk had fallen, and the roar of guns died away. Pierre lay
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leaning on his elbow for a long time, gazing at the shadows that moved past him in the darkness. He was continually imagining that a cannon ball was flying toward him with a terrific whizz, and then he shuddered and sat up. He had no idea how long he had been there. In the middle of the night three soldiers, having brought some firewood, settled down near him and began lighting a fire. The soldiers, who threw sidelong glances at Pierre, got the fire to burn and placed an iron pot on it into which they broke some dried bread and put a little dripping. The pleasant odor of greasy viands mingled with the smell of smoke. Pierre sat up and sighed. The three soldiers were eating and talking among themselves, taking no notice of him. \
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And who may you be?\ one of them suddenly asked Pierre, evidently meaning what Pierre himself had in mind, namely: \ If you want to eat we ll give you some food, only let us know whether you are an honest man.\ \ I, I…\ said Pierre, feeling it necessary to minimize his social position as much as possible so as to be nearer to the soldiers and better understood by them. \ By rights I am a militia officer, but my men are not here. I came to the battle and have lost them.\ \ There now!\ said one of the soldiers. Another shook his head. \ Would you like a little mash?\ the first soldier asked, and handed Pierre a wooden spoon after licking it
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clean. Pierre sat down by the fire and began eating the mash, as they called the food in the cauldron, and he thought it more delicious than any food he had ever tasted. As he sat bending greedily over it, helping himself to large spoonfuls and chewing one after another, his was lit up by the fire and the soldiers looked at him in silence. \ Where have you to go to? Tell us!\ said one of them. \ To Mozhaysk.\ CHAPTER VIII \ You re a gentleman, aren t you?\ \ Yes.\ \ And what s your name?\ \ Peter Kirilych.\ \ Well then, Peter Kirilych, come along with us,
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we ll take you there.\ In the total darkness the soldiers walked with Pierre to Mozhaysk. 740 By the time they got near Mozhaysk and began ascending the steep hill into the town, the cocks were already crowing. Pierre went on with the soldiers, quite forgetting that his inn was at the bottom of the hill and that he had already passed it. He would not soon have remembered this, such was his state of forgetfulness, had he not halfway up the hill stumbled upon his groom, who had been to look for him in the town and was returning to the inn. The groom recognized Pierre in the darkness by his white hat. \ Your excellency!\ he said. \ Why, we were beginning to despair! How is
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it you are on foot? And where are you going, please?\ \ Oh, yes!\ said Pierre. The soldiers stopped. \ So you ve found your folk?\ said one of them. \ Well, good-by, Peter Kirilych–isn t it?\ \ Good-by, Peter Kirilych!\ Pierre heard the other voices repeat. \ Good-by!\ he said and turned with his groom toward the inn. \ I ought to give them something!\ he thought, and felt in his pocket. \ No, better not!\ said another, inner voice. There was not a room to be had at the inn, they were all occupied. Pierre went out into the yard and, covering himself up head and all, lay down in his carriage.
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CHAPTER IX CHAPTER IX 741 Scarcely had Pierre laid his head on the pillow before he felt himself falling asleep, but suddenly, almost with the distinctness of reality, he heard the boom, boom, boom of firing, the thud of projectiles, groans and cries, and smelled blood and powder, and a feeling of horror and dread of death seized him. Filled with fright he opened his eyes and lifted his head from under his cloak. All was tranquil in the yard. Only someone s orderly passed through the gateway, splashing through the mud, and talked to the innkeeper. Above Pierre s head some pigeons, disturbed by the movement he had made in sitting up, fluttered under the dark roof of the penthouse. The whole courtyard was permeated by a
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strong peaceful smell of stable yards, delightful to Pierre at that moment. He could see the clear starry sky between the dark roofs of two penthouses. \ Thank God, there is no more of that!\ he thought, covering up his head again. \ Oh, what a terrible thing is fear, and how shamefully I yielded to it! But they… they were steady and calm all the time, to the end…\ thought he. They, in Pierre s mind, were the soldiers, those who had been at the battery, those who had given him food, and those who had prayed before the icon. They, those strange men he had not previously known, stood out clearly and sharply from everyone else. \ To be a soldier, just a soldier!\ thought Pierre as he fell asleep, \
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to enter communal life completely, to be imbued by what makes them what they are. But how cast off all the superfluous, devilish burden of my outer man? There was a time when I could have done it. I could have run away from my father, as I wanted to. Or I might have been sent to serve as a soldier after the duel with Dolokhov.\ And the memory of the dinner at the English Club when he had challenged Dolokhov flashed through Pierre s mind, and then he remembered his benefactor at Torzhok. And now a picture of a solemn meeting of the lodge presented itself to his mind. It was taking place at the English Club and someone near and dear to him sat at the end of the table. \ Yes, that is he! It is my benefactor. But
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he died!\ thought Pierre. \ Yes, he died, and I did not know he was alive. How sorry I am that he died, and how glad I am that he is alive again!\ On one side of the table sat Anatole, Dolokhov, Nesvitski, Denisov, and others like them (in his dream the category to which these men belonged was as clearly defined in his mind as the category of those he termed they), and he heard those people, Anatole and Dolokhov, shouting and singing loudly; yet through their shouting the voice of his benefactor was heard speaking all the time and the sound of his words was as weighty and uninterrupted as the booming on the battlefield, but pleasant and comforting. Pierre did not understand what his benefactor was saying, but he knew (the categories of thoughts were also quite distinct
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in his dream) that he was talking of goodness and the possibility of being what they were. And they with their simple, kind, firm faces surrounded his benefactor on all sides. But though they were kindly they did not look at Pierre and did not know him. Wishing to speak and to attract their attention, he got up, but at that moment his legs grew cold and bare. He felt ashamed, and with one arm covered his legs from which his cloak had in fact slipped. For a moment as he was rearranging his cloak Pierre opened his eyes and saw the same penthouse roofs, posts, and yard, but now they were all bluish, lit up, and glittering with frost or dew. \ It is dawn,\ thought Pierre. \ But that s not what I want. I want
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to hear and understand my benefactor s words.\ Again he covered himself up with his cloak, but now neither the lodge nor his benefactor was there. There were only thoughts clearly expressed in words, thoughts that someone was uttering or that he himself was formulating. Afterwards when he recalled those thoughts Pierre was convinced that someone outside himself had spoken them, though the impressions of that day had evoked them. He had never, it seemed to him, been able to think and express his thoughts like that when awake. CHAPTER IX 742 \ To endure war is the most difficult subordination of man s freedom to the law of God,\ the voice had said. \ Simplicity is submission to the will of
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God; you cannot escape from Him. And they are simple. They do not talk, but act. The spoken word is silver but the unspoken is golden. Man can be master of nothing while he fears death, but he who does not fear it possesses all. If there were no suffering, man would not know his limitations, would not know himself. The hardest thing [Pierre went on thinking, or hearing, in his dream] is to be able in your soul to unite the meaning of all. To unite all?\ he asked himself. \ No, not to unite. Thoughts cannot be united, but to harness all these thoughts together is what we need! Yes, one must harness them, must harness them!\ he repeated to himself with inward rapture, feeling that these words and they alone expressed what he wanted to say and solved
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the question that tormented him. \ Yes, one must harness, it is time to harness.\ \ Time to harness, time to harness, your excellency! Your excellency!\ some voice was repeating. \ We must harness, it is time to harness….\ It was the voice of the groom, trying to wake him. The sun shone straight into Pierre s face. He glanced at the dirty innyard in the middle of which soldiers were watering their lean horses at the pump while carts were passing out of the gate. Pierre turned away with repugnance, and closing his eyes quickly fell back on the carriage seat. \ No, I don t want that, I don t want to see and understand that. I want to understand what was revealing itself to me in my dream. One second
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more and I should have understood it all! But what am I to do? Harness, but how can I harness everything?\ and Pierre felt with horror that the meaning of all he had seen and thought in the dream had been destroyed. The groom, the coachman, and the innkeeper told Pierre that an officer had come with news that the French were already near Mozhaysk and that our men were leaving it. Pierre got up and, having told them to harness and overtake him, went on foot through the town. The troops were moving on, leaving about ten thousand wounded behind them. There were wounded in the yards, at the windows of the houses, and the streets were crowded with them. In the streets, around carts that were to take some of the wounded away,
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shouts, curses, and blows could be heard. Pierre offered the use of his carriage, which had overtaken him, to a wounded general he knew, and drove with him to Moscow. On the way Pierre was told of the death of his brother-in-law Anatole and of that of Prince Andrew. CHAPTER X CHAPTER X On the thirteenth of August Pierre reached Moscow. Close to the gates of the city he was met by Count Rostopchin s adjutant. 743 \ We have been looking for you everywhere,\ said the adjutant. \ The count wants to see you particularly. He asks you to come to him at once on a very important matter.\ Without going home, Pierre took a cab and
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drove to see the Moscow commander in chief. Count Rostopchin had only that morning returned to town from his summer villa at Sokolniki. The anteroom and reception room of his house were full of officials who had been summoned or had come for orders. Vasilchikov and Platov had already seen the count and explained to him that it was impossible to defend Moscow and that it would have to be surrendered. Though this news was being concealed from the inhabitants, the officials–the heads of the various government departments–knew that Moscow would soon be in the enemy s hands, just as Count Rostopchin himself knew it, and to escape personal responsibility they had all come to the governor to ask how they were to deal with their various departments. As Pierre was entering the reception room a courier from
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the army came out of Rostopchin s private room. In answer to questions with which he was greeted, the courier made a despairing gesture with his hand and passed through the room. While waiting in the reception room Pierre with weary eyes watched the various officials, old and young, military and civilian, who were there. They all seemed dissatisfied and uneasy. Pierre went up to a group of men, one of whom he knew. After greeting Pierre they continued their conversation. \ If they re sent out and brought back again later on it will do no harm, but as things are now one can t answer for anything.\ \ But you see what he writes…\ said another, pointing to a printed sheet he held in his hand. \
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That s another matter. That s necessary for the people,\ said the first. \ What is it?\ asked Pierre. \ Oh, it s a fresh broadsheet.\ Pierre took it and began reading. His Serene Highness has passed through Mozhaysk in order to join up with the troops moving toward him and has taken up a strong position where the enemy will not soon attack him. Forty eight guns with ammunition have been sent him from here, and his Serene Highness says he will defend Moscow to the last drop of blood and is even ready to fight in the streets. Do not be upset, brothers, that the law courts are closed; things have to be put in order, and we will deal with villains in our own way! When the time
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comes I shall want both town and peasant lads and will raise the cry a day or two beforehand, but they are not wanted yet so I hold my peace. An ax will be useful, a hunting spear not bad, but a three-pronged fork will be best of all: a Frenchman is no heavier than a sheaf of rye. Tomorrow after dinner I shall take the Iberian icon of the Mother of God to the wounded in the Catherine Hospital where we will have some water blessed. That will help them to get well quicker. I, too, am well now: one of my eyes was sore but now I am on the lookout with both. \ But military men have told me that it is impossible to fight in the town,\ said Pierre, \ and that the position…\
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CHAPTER X \ Well, of course! That s what we were saying,\ replied the first speaker. 744 \ And what does he mean by One of my eyes was sore but now I am on the lookout with both ?\ asked Pierre. \ The count had a sty,\ replied the adjutant smiling, \ and was very much upset when I told him people had come to ask what was the matter with him. By the by, Count,\ he added suddenly, addressing Pierre with a smile, \ we heard that you have family troubles and that the countess, your wife…\ \ I have heard nothing,\ Pierre replied unconcernedly. \ But what have you heard?\
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\ Oh, well, you know people often invent things. I only say what I heard.\ \ But what did you hear?\ \ Well, they say,\ continued the adjutant with the same smile, \ that the countess, your wife, is preparing to go abroad. I expect it s nonsense….\ \ Possibly,\ remarked Pierre, looking about him absent-mindedly. \ And who is that?\ he asked, indicating a short old man in a clean blue peasant overcoat, with a big snow-white beard and eyebrows and a ruddy face. \ He? That s a tradesman, that is to say, he s the restaurant keeper, Vereshchagin. Perhaps you have heard of that affair with the proclamation.\ \ Oh, so that is Vereshchagin!\ said Pierre, looking at the firm, calm
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face of the old man and seeking any indication of his being a traitor. \ That s not he himself, that s the father of the fellow who wrote the proclamation,\ said the adjutant. \ The young man is in prison and I expect it will go hard with him.\ An old gentleman wearing a star and another official, a German wearing a cross round his neck, approached the speaker. \ It s a complicated story, you know,\ said the adjutant. \ That proclamation appeared about two months ago. The count was informed of it. He gave orders to investigate the matter. Gabriel Ivanovich here made the inquiries. The proclamation had passed through exactly sixty-three hands. He asked one, From whom did you get it? From so-and-so. He
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went to the next one. From whom did you get it? and so on till he reached Vereshchagin, a half educated tradesman, you know, a pet of a trader, \ said the adjutant smiling. \ They asked him, Who gave it you? And the point is that we knew whom he had it from. He could only have had it from the Postmaster. But evidently they had come to some understanding. He replied: From no one; I made it up myself. They threatened and questioned him, but he stuck to that: I made it up myself. And so it was reported to the count, who sent for the man. From whom did you get the proclamation? I wrote it myself. Well, you know the count,\ said the adjutant cheerfully,
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CHAPTER VII CHILD-RAISING ON MARS After a breakfast, which was an exact replica of the meal of the preceding day and an index of practically every meal which followed while I was with the green men of Mars, Sola escorted me to the plaza, where I found the entire community engaged in watching or helping at the harnessing of huge mastodonian animals to great three-wheeled chariots. There were about two hundred and fifty of these vehicles, each drawn by a single animal, any one of which, from their appearance, might easily have drawn the entire wagon train when fully loaded. The chariots themselves were large, commodious, and gorgeously decorated. In each was seated a female Martian loaded with ornaments of metal, with jewels and silks and furs, and upon the back
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of each of the beasts which drew the chariots was perched a young Martian driver. Like the animals upon which the warriors were mounted, the heavier draft animals wore neither bit nor bridle, but were guided entirely by telepathic means. This power is wonderfully developed in all Martians, and accounts largely for the simplicity of their language and the relatively few spoken words exchanged even in long conversations. It is the universal language of Mars, through the medium of which the higher and lower animals of this world of paradoxes are able to communicate to a greater or less extent, depending upon the intellectual sphere of the species and the development of the individual. As the cavalcade took up the line of march in single file, Sola dragged me into an empty chariot and we proceeded
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with the procession toward the point by which I had entered the city the day before. At the head of the caravan rode some two hundred warriors, five abreast, and a like number brought up the rear, while twenty-five or thirty outriders flanked us on either side. Every one but myself–men, women, and children–were heavily armed, and at the tail of each chariot trotted a Martian hound, my own beast following closely behind ours; in fact, the faithful creature never left me CHAPTER VII 23 voluntarily during the entire ten years I spent on Mars. Our way led out across the little valley before the city, through the hills, and down into the dead sea bottom which I had traversed on my journey from the incubator
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to the plaza. The incubator, as it proved, was the terminal point of our journey this day, and, as the entire cavalcade broke into a mad gallop as soon as we reached the level expanse of sea bottom, we were soon within sight of our goal. On reaching it the chariots were parked with military precision on the four sides of the enclosure, and half a score of warriors, headed by the enormous chieftain, and including Tars Tarkas and several other lesser chiefs, dismounted and advanced toward it. I could see Tars Tarkas explaining something to the principal chieftain, whose name, by the way, was, as nearly as I can translate it into English, Lorquas Ptomel, Jed; jed being his title. I was soon appraised of the subject of their conversation, as, calling to Sola, Tars Tarkas
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signed for her to send me to him. I had by this time mastered the intricacies of walking under Martian conditions, and quickly responding to his command I advanced to the side of the incubator where the warriors stood. As I reached their side a glance showed me that all but a very few eggs had hatched, the incubator being fairly alive with the hideous little devils. They ranged in height from three to four feet, and were moving restlessly about the enclosure as though searching for food. As I came to a halt before him, Tars Tarkas pointed over the incubator and said, \ Sak.\ I saw that he wanted me to repeat my performance of yesterday for the edification of Lorquas Ptomel, and, as I must confess that my prowess gave me no little satisfaction,
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I responded quickly, leaping entirely over the parked chariots on the far side of the incubator. As I returned, Lorquas Ptomel grunted something at me, and turning to his warriors gave a few words of command relative to the incubator. They paid no further attention to me and I was thus permitted to remain close and watch their operations, which consisted in breaking an opening in the wall of the incubator large enough to permit of the exit of the young Martians. On either side of this opening the women and the younger Martians, both male and female, formed two solid walls leading out through the chariots and quite away into the plain beyond. Between these walls the little Martians scampered, wild as deer; being permitted to run the full length of the aisle, where they were captured one at
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a time by the women and older children; the last in the line capturing the first little one to reach the end of the gauntlet, her opposite in the line capturing the second, and so on until all the little fellows had left the enclosure and been appropriated by some youth or female. As the women caught the young they fell out of line and returned to their respective chariots, while those who fell into the hands of the young men were later turned over to some of the women. I saw that the ceremony, if it could be dignified by such a name, was over, and seeking out Sola I found her in our chariot with a hideous little creature held tightly in her arms. The work of rearing young, green Martians consists solely in teaching them to
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talk, and to use the weapons of warfare with which they are loaded down from the very first year of their lives. Coming from eggs in which they have lain for five years, the period of incubation, they step forth into the world perfectly developed except in size. Entirely unknown to their mothers, who, in turn, would have difficulty in pointing out the fathers with any degree of accuracy, they are the common children of the community, and their education devolves upon the females who chance to capture them as they leave the incubator. Their foster mothers may not even have had an egg in the incubator, as was the case with Sola, who had not commenced to lay, until less than a year before she became the mother of another woman s offspring. But this counts for little among
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the green Martians, as parental and filial love is as unknown to them as it is common among us. I believe this horrible system which has been carried on for ages is the direct cause of the loss of all the finer feelings and higher humanitarian instincts among these poor creatures. From birth they know no CHAPTER VII father or mother love, they know not the meaning of the word home; they are taught that they are only 24 suffered to live until they can demonstrate by their physique and ferocity that they are fit to live. Should they prove deformed or defective in any way they are promptly shot; nor do they see a tear shed for a single one of the many cruel hardships they pass
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through from earliest infancy. I do not mean that the adult Martians are unnecessarily or intentionally cruel to the young, but theirs is a hard and pitiless struggle for existence upon a dying planet, the natural resources of which have dwindled to a point where the support of each additional life means an added tax upon the community into which it is thrown. By careful selection they rear only the hardiest specimens of each species, and with almost supernatural foresight they regulate the birth rate to merely offset the loss by death. Each adult Martian female brings forth about thirteen eggs each year, and those which meet the size, weight, and specific gravity tests are hidden in the recesses of some subterranean vault where the temperature is too low for incubation. Every year these eggs are
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carefully examined by a council of twenty chieftains, and all but about one hundred of the most perfect are destroyed out of each yearly supply. At the end of five years about five hundred almost perfect eggs have been chosen from the thousands brought forth. These are then placed in the almost air-tight incubators to be hatched by the sun s rays after a period of another five years. The hatching which we had witnessed today was a fairly representative event of its kind, all but about one per cent of the eggs hatching in two days. If the remaining eggs ever hatched we knew nothing of the fate of the little Martians. They were not wanted, as their offspring might inherit and transmit the tendency to prolonged incubation, and thus upset the system which has maintained for ages and which permits the
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adult Martians to figure the proper time for return to the incubators, almost to an hour. The incubators are built in remote fastnesses, where there is little or no likelihood of their being discovered by other tribes. The result of such a catastrophe would mean no children in the community for another five years. I was later to witness the results of the discovery of an alien incubator. The community of which the green Martians with whom my lot was cast formed a part was composed of some thirty thousand souls. They roamed an enormous tract of arid and semi-arid land between forty and eighty degrees south latitude, and bounded on the east and west by two large fertile tracts. Their headquarters lay in the southwest corner of this district, near the crossing of two of the so-called
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Martian canals. As the incubator had been placed far north of their own territory in a supposedly uninhabited and unfrequented area, we had before us a tremendous journey, concerning which I, of course, knew nothing. After our return to the dead city I passed several days in comparative idleness. On the day following our return all the warriors had ridden forth early in the morning and had not returned until just before darkness fell. As I later learned, they had been to the subterranean vaults in which the eggs were kept and had transported them to the incubator, which they had then walled up for another five years, and which, in all probability, would not be visited again during that period. The vaults which hid the eggs until they were ready for the incubator were located
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many miles south of the incubator, and would be visited yearly by the council of twenty chieftains. Why they did not arrange to build their vaults and incubators nearer home has always been a mystery to me, and, like many other Martian mysteries, unsolved and unsolvable by earthly reasoning and customs. Sola s duties were now doubled, as she was compelled to care for the young Martian as well as for me, but neither one of us required much attention, and as we were both about equally advanced in Martian education, Sola took it upon herself to train us together. Her prize consisted in a male about four feet tall, very strong and physically perfect; also, he learned quickly, CHAPTER VIII 25
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and we had considerable amusement, at least I did, over the keen rivalry we displayed. The Martian language, as I have said, is extremely simple, and in a week I could make all my wants known and understand nearly everything that was said to me. Likewise, under Sola s tutelage, I developed my telepathic powers so that I shortly could sense practically everything that went on around me. What surprised Sola most in me was that while I could catch telepathic messages easily from others, and often when they were not intended for me, no one could read a jot from my mind under any circumstances. At first this vexed me, but later I was very glad of it, as it gave me an undoubted advantage over the Martians. CHAPTER VIII A FAIR CAPTIVE
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FROM THE SKY The third day after the incubator ceremony we set forth toward home, but scarcely had the head of the procession debouched into the open ground before the city than orders were given for an immediate and hasty return. As though trained for years in this particular evolution, the green Martians melted like mist into the spacious doorways of the nearby buildings, until, in less than three minutes, the entire cavalcade of chariots, mastodons and mounted warriors was nowhere to be seen. Sola and I had entered a building upon the front of the city, in fact, the same one in which I had had my encounter with the apes, and, wishing to see what had caused the sudden retreat, I mounted to an upper floor and peered from the window out over the valley and
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the hills beyond; and there I saw the cause of their sudden scurrying to cover. A huge craft, long, low, and gray-painted, swung slowly over the crest of the nearest hill. Following it came another, and another, and another, until twenty of them, swinging low above the ground, sailed slowly and majestically toward us. Each carried a strange banner swung from stem to stern above the upper works, and upon the prow of each was painted some odd device that gleamed in the sunlight and showed plainly even at the distance at which we were from the vessels. I could see figures crowding the forward decks and upper works of the air craft. Whether they had discovered us or simply were looking at the deserted city I could not say, but in any event they received a rude reception, for
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suddenly and without warning the green Martian warriors fired a terrific volley from the windows of the buildings facing the little valley across which the great ships were so peacefully advancing. Instantly the scene changed as by magic; the foremost vessel swung broadside toward us, and bringing her guns into play returned our fire, at the same time moving parallel to our front for a short distance and then turning back with the evident intention of completing a great circle which would bring her up to position once more opposite our firing line; the other vessels followed in her wake, each one opening upon us as she swung into position. Our own fire never diminished, and I doubt if twenty-five per cent of our shots went wild. It had never been given me to see such deadly accuracy of aim,
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and it seemed as though a little figure on one of the craft dropped at the explosion of each bullet, while the banners and upper works dissolved in spurts of flame as the irresistible projectiles of our warriors mowed through them. The fire from the vessels was most ineffectual, owing, as I afterward learned, to the unexpected suddenness of the first volley, which caught the ship s crews entirely unprepared and the sighting apparatus of the guns unprotected from the deadly aim of our warriors. It seems that each green warrior has certain objective points for his fire under relatively identical circumstances of warfare. For example, a proportion of them, always the best marksmen, direct their fire entirely upon the wireless finding and sighting apparatus of the big guns of an attacking naval force; another detail attends
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to the smaller guns in the same way; others pick off the gunners; still others the officers; while CHAPTER VIII certain other quotas concentrate their attention upon the other members of the crew, upon the upper works, and upon the steering gear and propellers. 26 Twenty minutes after the first volley the great fleet swung trailing off in the direction from which it had first appeared. Several of the craft were limping perceptibly, and seemed but barely under the control of their depleted crews. Their fire had ceased entirely and all their energies seemed focused upon escape. Our warriors then rushed up to the roofs of the buildings which we occupied and followed the retreating armada with a continuous fusillade of deadly fire.
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One by one, however, the ships managed to dip below the crests of the outlying hills until only one barely moving craft was in sight. This had received the brunt of our fire and seemed to be entirely unmanned, as not a moving figure was visible upon her decks. Slowly she swung from her course, circling back toward us in an erratic and pitiful manner. Instantly the warriors ceased firing, for it was quite apparent that the vessel was entirely helpless, and, far from being in a position to inflict harm upon us, she could not even control herself sufficiently to escape. As she neared the city the warriors rushed out upon the plain to meet her, but it was evident that she still was too high for them to hope to reach her decks. From my vantage point in
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the window I could see the bodies of her crew strewn about, although I could not make out what manner of creatures they might be. Not a sign of life was manifest upon her as she drifted slowly with the light breeze in a southeasterly direction. She was drifting some fifty feet above the ground, followed by all but some hundred of the warriors who had been ordered back to the roofs to cover the possibility of a return of the fleet, or of reinforcements. It soon became evident that she would strike the face of the buildings about a mile south of our position, and as I watched the progress of the chase I saw a number of warriors gallop ahead, dismount and enter the building she seemed destined to touch. As the craft neared the building,
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and just before she struck, the Martian warriors swarmed upon her from the windows, and with their great spears eased the shock of the collision, and in a few moments they had thrown out grappling hooks and the big boat was being hauled to ground by their fellows below. After making her fast, they swarmed the sides and searched the vessel from stem to stern. I could see them examining the dead sailors, evidently for signs of life, and presently a party of them appeared from below dragging a little figure among them. The creature was considerably less than half as tall as the green Martian warriors, and from my balcony I could see that it walked erect upon two legs and surmised that it was some new and strange Martian monstrosity with which I had not as yet become acquainted.
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They removed their prisoner to the ground and then commenced a systematic rifling of the vessel. This operation required several hours, during which time a number of the chariots were requisitioned to transport the loot, which consisted in arms, ammunition, silks, furs, jewels, strangely carved stone vessels, and a quantity of solid foods and liquids, including many casks of water, the first I had seen since my advent upon Mars. After the last load had been removed the warriors made lines fast to the craft and towed her far out into the valley in a southwesterly direction. A few of them then boarded her and were busily engaged in what appeared, from my distant position, as the emptying of the contents of various carboys upon the dead bodies of the sailors and over the decks and works
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of the vessel. This operation concluded, they hastily clambered over her sides, sliding down the guy ropes to the ground. The last warrior to leave the deck turned and threw something back upon the vessel, waiting an instant to note the outcome of his act. As a faint spurt of flame rose from the point where the missile struck he swung over the side and was quickly upon the ground. Scarcely had he alighted than the guy ropes were simultaneous CHAPTER VIII 27 released, and the great warship, lightened by the removal of the loot, soared majestically into the air, her decks and upper works a mass of roaring flames. Slowly she drifted to the southeast, rising higher and higher as the flames
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ate away her wooden parts and diminished the weight upon her. Ascending to the roof of the building I watched her for hours, until finally she was lost in the dim vistas of the distance. The sight was awe-inspiring in the extreme as one contemplated this mighty floating funeral pyre, drifting unguided and unmanned through the lonely wastes of the Martian heavens; a derelict of death and destruction, typifying the life story of these strange and ferocious creatures into whose unfriendly hands fate had carried it. Much depressed, and, to me, unaccountably so, I slowly descended to the street. The scene I had witnessed seemed to mark the defeat and annihilation of the forces of a kindred people, rather than the routing by our green warriors of a horde of similar, though unfriendly, creatures. I could not fathom the seeming
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hallucination, nor could I free myself from it; but somewhere in the innermost recesses of my soul I felt a strange yearning toward these unknown foemen, and a mighty hope surged through me that the fleet would return and demand a reckoning from the green warriors who had so ruthlessly and wantonly attacked it. Close at my heel, in his now accustomed place, followed Woola, the hound, and as I emerged upon the street Sola rushed up to me as though I had been the object of some search on her part. The cavalcade was returning to the plaza, the homeward march having been given up for that day; nor, in fact, was it recommenced for more than a week, owing to the fear of a return attack by the air craft. Lorquas Ptomel was too astute an
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old warrior to be caught upon the open plains with a caravan of chariots and children, and so we remained at the deserted city until the danger seemed passed. As Sola and I entered the plaza a sight met my eyes which filled my whole being with a great surge of mingled hope, fear, exultation, and depression, and yet most dominant was a subtle sense of relief and happiness; for just as we neared the throng of Martians I caught a glimpse of the prisoner from the battle craft who was being roughly dragged into a nearby building by a couple of green Martian females. And the sight which met my eyes was that of a slender, girlish figure, similar in every detail to the earthly women of my past life. She did not see me at first, but
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just as she was disappearing through the portal of the building which was to be her prison she turned, and her eyes met mine. Her face was oval and beautiful in the extreme, her every feature was finely chiseled and exquisite, her eyes large and lustrous and her head surmounted by a mass of coal black, waving hair, caught loosely into a strange yet becoming coiffure. Her skin was of a light reddish copper color, against which the crimson glow of her cheeks and the ruby of her beautifully molded lips shone with a strangely enhancing effect. She was as destitute of clothes as the green Martians who accompanied her; indeed, save for her highly wrought ornaments she was entirely naked, nor could any apparel have enhanced the beauty of her perfect and symmetrical figure. As her
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gaze rested on me her eyes opened wide in astonishment, and she made a little sign with her free hand; a sign which I did not, of course, understand. Just a moment we gazed upon each other, and then the look of hope and renewed courage which had glorified her face as she discovered me, faded into one of utter dejection, mingled with loathing and contempt. I realized I had not answered her signal, and ignorant as I was of Martian customs, I intuitively felt that she had made an appeal for succor and protection which my unfortunate ignorance had prevented me from answering. And then she was dragged out of my sight into the depths of the deserted edifice. CHAPTER IX CHAPTER IX I LEARN THE LANGUAGE
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As I came back to myself I glanced at Sola, who had witnessed this encounter and I was surprised to note a 28 strange expression upon her usually expressionless countenance. What her thoughts were I did not know, for as yet I had learned but little of the Martian tongue; enough only to suffice for my daily needs. As I reached the doorway of our building a strange surprise awaited me. A warrior approached bearing the arms, ornaments, and full accouterments of his kind. These he presented to me with a few unintelligible words, and a bearing at once respectful and menacing. Later, Sola, with the aid of several of the other women, remodeled the trappings to fit my lesser proportions, and after they completed the work I went about garbed in
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all the panoply of war. From then on Sola instructed me in the mysteries of the various weapons, and with the Martian young I spent several hours each day practicing upon the plaza. I was not yet proficient with all the weapons, but my great familiarity with similar earthly weapons made me an unusually apt pupil, and I progressed in a very satisfactory manner. The training of myself and the young Martians was conducted solely by the women, who not only attend to the education of the young in the arts of individual defense and offense, but are also the artisans who produce every manufactured article wrought by the green Martians. They make the powder, the cartridges, the firearms; in fact everything of value is produced by the females. In time of actual warfare they form a part
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of the reserves, and when the necessity arises fight with even greater intelligence and ferocity than the men. The men are trained in the higher branches of the art of war; in strategy and the maneuvering of large bodies of troops. They make the laws as they are needed; a new law for each emergency. They are unfettered by precedent in the administration of justice. Customs have been handed down by ages of repetition, but the punishment for ignoring a custom is a matter for individual treatment by a jury of the culprit s peers, and I may say that justice seldom misses fire, but seems rather to rule in inverse ratio to the ascendency of law. In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers. I did not see the prisoner
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again for several days subsequent to our first encounter, and then only to catch a fleeting glimpse of her as she was being conducted to the great audience chamber where I had had my first meeting with Lorquas Ptomel. I could not but note the unnecessary harshness and brutality with which her guards treated her; so different from the almost maternal kindliness which Sola manifested toward me, and the respectful attitude of the few green Martians who took the trouble to notice me at all. I had observed on the two occasions when I had seen her that the prisoner exchanged words with her guards, and this convinced me that they spoke, or at least could make themselves understood by a common language. With this added incentive I nearly drove Sola distracted by my importunities to hasten on my education and
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within a few more days I had mastered the Martian tongue sufficiently well to enable me to carry on a passable conversation and to fully understand practically all that I heard. At this time our sleeping quarters were occupied by three or four females and a couple of the recently hatched young, beside Sola and her youthful ward, myself, and Woola the hound. After they had retired for the night it was customary for the adults to carry on a desultory conversation for a short time before lapsing into sleep, and now that I could understand their language I was always a keen listener, although I never proffered any remarks myself. CHAPTER IX On the night following the prisoner s visit to the audience chamber the conversation finally fell upon this
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subject, and I was all ears on the instant. I had feared to question Sola relative to the beautiful captive, as I 29 could not but recall the strange expression I had noted upon her face after my first encounter with the prisoner. That it denoted jealousy I could not say, and yet, judging all things by mundane standards as I still did, I felt it safer to affect indifference in the matter until I learned more surely Sola s attitude toward the object of my solicitude. Sarkoja, one of the older women who shared our domicile, had been present at the audience as one of the captive s guards, and it was toward her the question turned. \ When,\ asked one of the women, \ will we enjoy the
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death throes of the red one? or does Lorquas Ptomel, Jed, intend holding her for ransom?\ \ They have decided to carry her with us back to Thark, and exhibit her last agonies at the great games before Tal Hajus,\ replied Sarkoja. \ What will be the manner of her going out?\ inquired Sola. \ She is very small and very beautiful; I had hoped that they would hold her for ransom.\ Sarkoja and the other women grunted angrily at this evidence of weakness on the part of Sola. \ It is sad, Sola, that you were not born a million years ago,\ snapped Sarkoja, \ when all the hollows of the land were filled with water, and the peoples were as soft as the stuff they sailed upon.
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In our day we have progressed to a point where such sentiments mark weakness and atavism. It will not be well for you to permit Tars Tarkas to learn that you hold such degenerate sentiments, as I doubt that he would care to entrust such as you with the grave responsibilities of maternity.\ \ I see nothing wrong with my expression of interest in this red woman,\ retorted Sola. \ She has never harmed us, nor would she should we have fallen into her hands. It is only the men of her kind who war upon us, and I have ever thought that their attitude toward us is but the reflection of ours toward them. They live at peace with all their fellows, except when duty calls upon them to make war, while we are at peace with none;
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forever warring among our own kind as well as upon the red men, and even in our own communities the individuals fight amongst themselves. Oh, it is one continual, awful period of bloodshed from the time we break the shell until we gladly embrace the bosom of the river of mystery, the dark and ancient Iss which carries us to an unknown, but at least no more frightful and terrible existence! Fortunate indeed is he who meets his end in an early death. Say what you please to Tars Tarkas, he can mete out no worse fate to me than a continuation of the horrible existence we are forced to lead in this life.\ This wild outbreak on the part of Sola so greatly surprised and shocked the other women, that, after a few words of general reprimand, they
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For a while the imaginative daring of the artilleryman, and the tone of assurance and courage he assumed, completely dominated my mind. I believed unhesitatingly both in his forecast of human destiny and in the practicability of his astonishing scheme, and the reader who thinks me susceptible and foolish must contrast his position, reading steadily with all his thoughts about his subject, and mine, crouching fearfully in the bushes and listening, distracted by apprehension. We talked in this manner through the early morning time, and later crept out of the bushes, and, after scanning the sky for Martians, hurried precipitately to the house on Putney Hill where he had made his lair. It was the coal cellar of the place, and when I saw the work he had spent a week upon–it was a burrow scarcely ten yards long, which he designed to
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reach to the main drain on Putney Hill–I had my first inkling of the gulf between his dreams and his powers. Such a hole I could have dug in a day. But I believed in him sufficiently to work with him all that morning until past midday at his digging. We had a garden barrow and shot the earth we removed against the kitchen range. We refreshed ourselves with a tin of mock- turtle soup and wine from the neighbouring pantry. I found a curious relief from the aching strangeness of the world in this steady labour. As we worked, I turned his project over in my mind, and presently objections and doubts began to arise; but I worked there all the morning, so glad was I to find myself with a purpose again. After working an hour I began to speculate on
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the distance one had to go before the cloaca was reached, the chances we had of missing it altogether. My immediate trouble was why we should dig this long tunnel, when it was possible to get into the drain at once down one of the manholes, and work back to the house. It seemed to me, too, that the house was inconveniently chosen, and required a needless length of tunnel. And just as I was beginning to face these things, the artilleryman stopped digging, and looked at me. \ We re working well,\ he said. He put down his spade. \ Let us knock off a bit\ he said. \ I think it s time we reconnoitred from the roof of the house.\ I was for going on, and after a little hesitation he resumed
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his spade; and then suddenly I was struck by a thought. I stopped, and so did he at once. \ Why were you walking about the common,\ I said, \ instead of being here?\ \ Taking the air,\ he said. \ I was coming back. It s safer by night.\ \ But the work?\ \ Oh, one can t always work,\ he said, and in a flash I saw the man plain. He hesitated, holding his spade. \ We ought to reconnoitre now,\ he said, \ because if any come near they may hear the spades and drop upon us unawares.\ I was no longer disposed to object. We went together to the roof and stood on a ladder peeping out of the roof
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door. No Martians were to be seen, and we ventured out on the tiles, and slipped down under shelter of the parapet. From this position a shrubbery hid the greater portion of Putney, but we could see the river below, a bubbly mass of red weed, and the low parts of Lambeth flooded and red. The red creeper swarmed up the trees about the old palace, and their branches stretched gaunt and dead, and set with shrivelled leaves, from amid its clusters. It was strange how entirely dependent both these things were upon flowing water for their propagation. About us neither had gained a footing; laburnums, pink mays, snowballs, and trees of CHAPTER SEVEN 96 arbor-vitae, rose out of laurels and hydrangeas, green and
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brilliant into the sunlight. Beyond Kensington dense smoke was rising, and that and a blue haze hid the northward hills. The artilleryman began to tell me of the sort of people who still remained in London. \ One night last week,\ he said, \ some fools got the electric light in order, and there was all Regent Street and the Circus ablaze, crowded with painted and ragged drunkards, men and women, dancing and shouting till dawn. A man who was there told me. And as the day came they became aware of a fighting-machine standing near by the Langham and looking down at them. Heaven knows how long he had been there. It must have given some of them a nasty turn. He came down the road towards them, and picked up nearly a hundred too drunk
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or frightened to run away.\ Grotesque gleam of a time no history will ever fully describe! From that, in answer to my questions, he came round to his grandiose plans again. He grew enthusiastic. He talked so eloquently of the possibility of capturing a fighting-machine that I more than half believed in him again. But now that I was beginning to understand something of his quality, I could divine the stress he laid on doing nothing precipitately. And I noted that now there was no question that he personally was to capture and fight the great machine. After a time we went down to the cellar. Neither of us seemed disposed to resume digging, and when he suggested a meal, I was nothing loath. He became suddenly very generous, and when we had eaten he
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went away and returned with some excellent cigars. We lit these, and his optimism glowed. He was inclined to regard my coming as a great occasion. \ There s some champagne in the cellar,\ he said. \ We can dig better on this Thames-side burgundy,\ said I. \ No,\ said he; \ I am host today. Champagne! Great God! We ve a heavy enough task before us! Let us take a rest and gather strength while we may. Look at these blistered hands!\ And pursuant to this idea of a holiday, he insisted upon playing cards after we had eaten. He taught me euchre, and after dividing London between us, I taking the northern side and he the southern, we played for parish points. Grotesque and foolish as this
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will seem to the sober reader, it is absolutely true, and what is more remarkable, I found the card game and several others we played extremely interesting. Strange mind of man! that, with our species upon the edge of extermination or appalling degradation, with no clear prospect before us but the chance of a horrible death, we could sit following the chance of this painted pasteboard, and playing the \ joker\ with vivid delight. Afterwards he taught me poker, and I beat him at three tough chess games. When dark came we decided to take the risk, and lit a lamp. After an interminable string of games, we supped, and the artilleryman finished the champagne. We went on smoking the cigars. He was no longer the energetic regenerator of his species I had encountered in the morning.
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He was still optimistic, but it was a less kinetic, a more thoughtful optimism. I remember he wound up with my health, proposed in a speech of small variety and considerable intermittence. I took a cigar, and went upstairs to look at the lights of which he had spoken that blazed so greenly along the Highgate hills. At first I stared unintelligently across the London valley. The northern hills were shrouded in darkness; the fires near Kensington glowed redly, and now and then an orange-red tongue of flame flashed up and vanished in the deep blue night. All the rest of London was black. Then, nearer, I perceived a strange light, a pale, violet- purple fluorescent glow, quivering under the night breeze. For a space I could not understand it, and CHAPTER SEVEN
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97 then I knew that it must be the red weed from which this faint irradiation proceeded. With that realisation my dormant sense of wonder, my sense of the proportion of things, awoke again. I glanced from that to Mars, red and clear, glowing high in the west, and then gazed long and earnestly at the darkness of Hampstead and Highgate. I remained a very long time upon the roof, wondering at the grotesque changes of the day. I recalled my mental states from the midnight prayer to the foolish card-playing. I had a violent revulsion of feeling. I remember I flung away the cigar with a certain wasteful symbolism. My folly came to me with glaring exaggeration. I seemed a traitor to my wife and to my kind; I was filled with
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remorse. I resolved to leave this strange undisciplined dreamer of great things to his drink and gluttony, and to go on into London. There, it seemed to me, I had the best chance of learning what the Martians and my fellowmen were doing. I was still upon the roof when the late moon rose. CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER EIGHT DEAD LONDON After I had parted from the artilleryman, I went down the hill, and by the High Street across the bridge to 98 Fulham. The red weed was tumultuous at that time, and nearly choked the bridge roadway; but its fronds were already whitened in patches by the spreading disease that presently removed it so swiftly. At the corner of
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the lane that runs to Putney Bridge station I found a man lying. He was as black as a sweep with the black dust, alive, but helplessly and speechlessly drunk. I could get nothing from him but curses and furious lunges at my head. I think I should have stayed by him but for the brutal expression of his face. There was black dust along the roadway from the bridge onwards, and it grew thicker in Fulham. The streets were horribly quiet. I got food–sour, hard, and mouldy, but quite eatable–in a baker s shop here. Some way towards Walham Green the streets became clear of powder, and I passed a white terrace of houses on fire; the noise of the burning was an absolute relief. Going on towards Brompton, the streets were quiet again. Here I came once
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more upon the black powder in the streets and upon dead bodies. I saw altogether about a dozen in the length of the Fulham Road. They had been dead many days, so that I hurried quickly past them. The black powder covered them over, and softened their outlines. One or two had been disturbed by dogs. Where there was no black powder, it was curiously like a Sunday in the City, with the closed shops, the houses locked up and the blinds drawn, the desertion, and the stillness. In some places plunderers had been at work, but rarely at other than the provision and wine shops. A jeweller s window had been broken open in one place, but apparently the thief had been disturbed, and a number of gold chains and a watch lay scattered on the pavement. I did not
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trouble to touch them. Farther on was a tattered woman in a heap on a doorstep; the hand that hung over her knee was gashed and bled down her rusty brown dress, and a smashed magnum of champagne formed a pool across the pavement. She seemed asleep, but she was dead. The farther I penetrated into London, the profounder grew the stillness. But it was not so much the stillness of death–it was the stillness of suspense, of expectation. At any time the destruction that had already singed the northwestern borders of the metropolis, and had annihilated Ealing and Kilburn, might strike among these houses and leave them smoking ruins. It was a city condemned and derelict. . . . In South Kensington the streets were clear of dead and of black powder. It was near South Kensington that
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I first heard the howling. It crept almost imperceptibly upon my senses. It was a sobbing alternation of two notes, \ Ulla, ulla, ulla, ulla,\ keeping on perpetually. When I passed streets that ran northward it grew in volume, and houses and buildings seemed to deaden and cut it off again. It came in a full tide down Exhibition Road. I stopped, staring towards Kensington Gardens, wondering at this strange, remote wailing. It was as if that mighty desert of houses had found a voice for its fear and solitude. \ Ulla, ulla, ulla, ulla,\ wailed that superhuman note–great waves of sound sweeping down the broad, sunlit roadway, between the tall buildings on each side. I turned northwards, marvelling, towards the iron gates of Hyde Park. I had half a mind to break into the Natural History Museum
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and find my way up to the summits of the towers, in order to see across the park. But I decided to keep to the ground, where quick hiding was possible, and so went on up the Exhibition Road. All the large mansions on each side of the road were empty and still, and my footsteps echoed against the sides of the houses. At the top, near the park gate, I came upon a strange sight–a bus overturned, and the skeleton of a horse picked clean. I puzzled over this for a time, and then went on to the bridge over the Serpentine. The voice grew stronger and stronger, though I could see nothing above the housetops on the north side of the park, save a haze of smoke to the northwest. CHAPTER EIGHT
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99 \ Ulla, ulla, ulla, ulla,\ cried the voice, coming, as it seemed to me, from the district about Regent s Park. The desolating cry worked upon my mind. The mood that had sustained me passed. The wailing took possession of me. I found I was intensely weary, footsore, and now again hungry and thirsty. It was already past noon. Why was I wandering alone in this city of the dead? Why was I alone when all London was lying in state, and in its black shroud? I felt intolerably lonely. My mind ran on old friends that I had forgotten for years. I thought of the poisons in the chemists shops, of the liquors the wine merchants stored; I recalled the two sodden creatures of despair, who so far as I knew,
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shared the city with myself. . . . I came into Oxford Street by the Marble Arch, and here again were black powder and several bodies, and an evil, ominous smell from the gratings of the cellars of some of the houses. I grew very thirsty after the heat of my long walk. With infinite trouble I managed to break into a public-house and get food and drink. I was weary after eating, and went into the parlour behind the bar, and slept on a black horsehair sofa I found there. I awoke to find that dismal howling still in my ears, \ Ulla, ulla, ulla, ulla.\ It was now dusk, and after I had routed out some biscuits and a cheese in the bar–there was a meat safe, but it contained nothing but maggots–I wandered on through
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the silent residential squares to Baker Street–Portman Square is the only one I can name–and so came out at last upon Regent s Park. And as I emerged from the top of Baker Street, I saw far away over the trees in the clearness of the sunset the hood of the Martian giant from which this howling proceeded. I was not terrified. I came upon him as if it were a matter of course. I watched him for some time, but he did not move. He appeared to be standing and yelling, for no reason that I could discover. I tried to formulate a plan of action. That perpetual sound of \ Ulla, ulla, ulla, ulla,\ confused my mind. Perhaps I was too tired to be very fearful. Certainly I was more curious to know the reason of this monotonous
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crying than afraid. I turned back away from the park and struck into Park Road, intending to skirt the park, went along under the shelter of the terraces, and got a view of this stationary, howling Martian from the direction of St. John s Wood. A couple of hundred yards out of Baker Street I heard a yelping chorus, and saw, first a dog with a piece of putrescent red meat in his jaws coming headlong towards me, and then a pack of starving mongrels in pursuit of him. He made a wide curve to avoid me, as though he feared I might prove a fresh competitor. As the yelping died away down the silent road, the wailing sound of \ Ulla, ulla, ulla, ulla,\ reasserted itself. I came upon the wrecked handling-machine halfway to St. John s Wood station.
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At first I thought a house had fallen across the road. It was only as I clambered among the ruins that I saw, with a start, this mechanical Samson lying, with its tentacles bent and smashed and twisted, among the ruins it had made. The forepart was shattered. It seemed as if it had driven blindly straight at the house, and had been overwhelmed in its overthrow. It seemed to me then that this might have happened by a handling-machine escaping from the guidance of its Martian. I could not clamber among the ruins to see it, and the twilight was now so far advanced that the blood with which its seat was smeared, and the gnawed gristle of the Martian that the dogs had left, were invisible to me. Wondering still more at all that I had seen, I
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pushed on towards Primrose Hill. Far away, through a gap in the trees, I saw a second Martian, as motionless as the first, standing in the park towards the Zoological Gardens, and silent. A little beyond the ruins about the smashed handling-machine I came upon the red weed again, and found the Regent s Canal, a spongy mass of dark-red vegetation. As I crossed the bridge, the sound of \ Ulla, ulla, ulla, ulla,\ ceased. It was, as it were, cut off. The silence came like a thunderclap. The dusky houses about me stood faint and tall and dim; the trees towards the park were growing black. All about me the red weed clambered among the ruins, writhing to get above me in the dimness. Night, the mother of fear and mystery, was coming upon me. But
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while that voice sounded the solitude, the desolation, had been CHAPTER EIGHT 100 endurable; by virtue of it London had still seemed alive, and the sense of life about me had upheld me. Then suddenly a change, the passing of something–I knew not what–and then a stillness that could be felt. Nothing but this gaunt quiet. London about me gazed at me spectrally. The windows in the white houses were like the eye sockets of skulls. About me my imagination found a thousand noiseless enemies moving. Terror seized me, a horror of my temerity. In front of me the road became pitchy black as though it was tarred, and I saw a contorted shape lying across the pathway. I could not bring myself to go
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on. I turned down St. John s Wood Road, and ran headlong from this unendurable stillness towards Kilburn. I hid from the night and the silence, until long after midnight, in a cabmen s shelter in Harrow Road. But before the dawn my courage returned, and while the stars were still in the sky I turned once more towards Regent s Park. I missed my way among the streets, and presently saw down a long avenue, in the half-light of the early dawn, the curve of Primrose Hill. On the summit, towering up to the fading stars, was a third Martian, erect and motionless like the others. An insane resolve possessed me. I would die and end it. And I would save myself even the trouble of killing myself. I marched on recklessly towards this Titan, and then, as I drew
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nearer and the light grew, I saw that a multitude of black birds was circling and clustering about the hood. At that my heart gave a bound, and I began running along the road. I hurried through the red weed that choked St. Edmund s Terrace (I waded breast-high across a torrent of water that was rushing down from the waterworks towards the Albert Road), and emerged upon the grass before the rising of the sun. Great mounds had been heaped about the crest of the hill, making a huge redoubt of it–it was the final and largest place the Martians had made–and from behind these heaps there rose a thin smoke against the sky. Against the sky line an eager dog ran and disappeared. The thought that had flashed into my mind grew real, grew credible. I felt no
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fear, only a wild, trembling exultation, as I ran up the hill towards the motionless monster. Out of the hood hung lank shreds of brown, at which the hungry birds pecked and tore. In another moment I had scrambled up the earthen rampart and stood upon its crest, and the interior of the redoubt was below me. A mighty space it was, with gigantic machines here and there within it, huge mounds of material and strange shelter places. And scattered about it, some in their overturned war-machines, some in the now rigid handling-machines, and a dozen of them stark and silent and laid in a row, were the Martians–DEAD!–slain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which their systems were unprepared; slain as the red weed was being slain; slain, after all man s devices had failed, by the humblest
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things that God, in his wisdom, has put upon this earth. For so it had come about, as indeed I and many men might have foreseen had not terror and disaster blinded our minds. These germs of disease have taken toll of humanity since the beginning of things– taken toll of our prehuman ancestors since life began here. But by virtue of this natural selection of our kind we have developed resisting power; to no germs do we succumb without a struggle, and to many–those that cause putrefaction in dead matter, for instance –our living frames are altogether immune. But there are no bacteria in Mars, and directly these invaders arrived, directly they drank and fed, our microscopic allies began to work their overthrow. Already when I watched them they were irrevocably doomed, dying and rotting even as they
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went to and fro. It was inevitable. By the toll of a billion deaths man has bought his birthright of the earth, and it is his against all comers; it would still be his were the Martians ten times as mighty as they are. For neither do men live nor die in vain. Here and there they were scattered, nearly fifty altogether, in that great gulf they had made, overtaken by a death that must have seemed to them as incomprehensible as any death could be. To me also at that time this death was incomprehensible. All I knew was that these things that had been alive and so terrible to men were dead. For a moment I believed that the destruction of Sennacherib had been repeated, that God had repented, that the Angel of Death had slain them in the
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night. CHAPTER EIGHT 101 I stood staring into the pit, and my heart lightened gloriously, even as the rising sun struck the world to fire about me with his rays. The pit was still in darkness; the mighty engines, so great and wonderful in their power and complexity, so unearthly in their tortuous forms, rose weird and vague and strange out of the shadows towards the light. A multitude of dogs, I could hear, fought over the bodies that lay darkly in the depth of the pit, far below me. Across the pit on its farther lip, flat and vast and strange, lay the great flying-machine with which they had been experimenting upon our denser atmosphere when decay and death arrested them. Death had come not a
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day too soon. At the sound of a cawing overhead I looked up at the huge fighting-machine that would fight no more for ever, at the tattered red shreds of flesh that dripped down upon the overturned seats on the summit of Primrose Hill. I turned and looked down the slope of the hill to where, enhaloed now in birds, stood those other two Martians that I had seen overnight, just as death had overtaken them. The one had died, even as it had been crying to its companions; perhaps it was the last to die, and its voice had gone on perpetually until the force of its machinery was exhausted. They glittered now, harmless tripod towers of shining metal, in the brightness of the rising sun. All about the pit, and saved as by a miracle from
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everlasting destruction, stretched the great Mother of Cities. Those who have only seen London veiled in her sombre robes of smoke can scarcely imagine the naked clearness and beauty of the silent wilderness of houses. Eastward, over the blackened ruins of the Albert Terrace and the splintered spire of the church, the sun blazed dazzling in a clear sky, and here and there some facet in the great wilderness of roofs caught the light and glared with a white intensity. Northward were Kilburn and Hampsted, blue and crowded with houses; westward the great city was dimmed; and southward, beyond the Martians, the green waves of Regent s Park, the Langham Hotel, the dome of the Albert Hall, the Imperial Institute, and the giant mansions of the Brompton Road came out clear and little in the sunrise, the
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jagged ruins of Westminster rising hazily beyond. Far away and blue were the Surrey hills, and the towers of the Crystal Palace glittered like two silver rods. The dome of St. Paul s was dark against the sunrise, and injured, I saw for the first time, by a huge gaping cavity on its western side. And as I looked at this wide expanse of houses and factories and churches, silent and abandoned; as I thought of the multitudinous hopes and efforts, the innumerable hosts of lives that had gone to build this human reef, and of the swift and ruthless destruction that had hung over it all; when I realised that the shadow had been rolled back, and that men might still live in the streets, and this dear vast dead city of mine be once more alive and powerful, I
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felt a wave of emotion that was near akin to tears. The torment was over. Even that day the healing would begin. The survivors of the people scattered over the country–leaderless, lawless, foodless, like sheep without a shepherd–the thousands who had fled by sea, would begin to return; the pulse of life, growing stronger and stronger, would beat again in the empty streets and pour across the vacant squares. Whatever destruction was done, the hand of the destroyer was stayed. All the gaunt wrecks, the blackened skeletons of houses that stared so dismally at the sunlit grass of the hill, would presently be echoing with the hammers of the restorers and ringing with the tapping of their trowels. At the thought I extended my hands towards the sky and began thanking God. In a year, thought I–in a year. . .
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With overwhelming force came the thought of myself, of my wife, and the old life of hope and tender helpfulness that had ceased for ever. CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER NINE WRECKAGE 102 And now comes the strangest thing in my story. Yet, perhaps, it is not altogether strange. I remember, clearly and coldly and vividly, all that I did that day until the time that I stood weeping and praising God upon the summit of Primrose Hill. And then I forget. Of the next three days I know nothing. I have learned since that, so far from my being the first discoverer of the Martian overthrow, several such wanderers as myself had already discovered this on the previous
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night. One man–the first–had gone to St. Martin s-le- Grand, and, while I sheltered in the cabmen s hut, had contrived to telegraph to Paris. Thence the joyful news had flashed all over the world; a thousand cities, chilled by ghastly apprehensions, suddenly flashed into frantic illuminations; they knew of it in Dublin, Edinburgh, Manchester, Birmingham, at the time when I stood upon the verge of the pit. Already men, weeping with joy, as I have heard, shouting and staying their work to shake hands and shout, were making up trains, even as near as Crewe, to descend upon London. The church bells that had ceased a fortnight since suddenly caught the news, until all England was bell-ringing. Men on cycles, lean-faced, unkempt, scorched along every country lane shouting of unhoped deliverance, shouting to gaunt, staring figures of despair. And for
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the food! Across the Channel, across the Irish Sea, across the Atlantic, corn, bread, and meat were tearing to our relief. All the shipping in the world seemed going Londonward in those days. But of all this I have no memory. I drifted–a demented man. I found myself in a house of kindly people, who had found me on the third day wandering, weeping, and raving through the streets of St. John s Wood. They have told me since that I was singing some insane doggerel about \ The Last Man Left Alive! Hurrah! The Last Man Left Alive!\ Troubled as they were with their own affairs, these people, whose name, much as I would like to express my gratitude to them, I may not even give here, nevertheless cumbered themselves with me, sheltered me, and protected me from myself. Apparently they
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had learned something of my story from me during the days of my lapse. Very gently, when my mind was assured again, did they break to me what they had learned of the fate of Leatherhead. Two days after I was imprisoned it had been destroyed, with every soul in it, by a Martian. He had swept it out of existence, as it seemed, without any provocation, as a boy might crush an ant hill, in the mere wantonness of power. I was a lonely man, and they were very kind to me. I was a lonely man and a sad one, and they bore with me. I remained with them four days after my recovery. All that time I felt a vague, a growing craving to look once more on whatever remained of the little life that
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seemed so happy and bright in my past. It was a mere hopeless desire to feast upon my misery. They dissuaded me. They did all they could to divert me from this morbidity. But at last I could resist the impulse no longer, and, promising faithfully to return to them, and parting, as I will confess, from these four-day friends with tears, I went out again into the streets that had lately been so dark and strange and empty. Already they were busy with returning people; in places even there were shops open, and I saw a drinking fountain running water. I remember how mockingly bright the day seemed as I went back on my melancholy pilgrimage to the little house at Woking, how busy the streets and vivid the moving life about me. So many people were
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abroad everywhere, busied in a thousand activities, that it seemed incredible that any great proportion of the population could have been slain. But then I noticed how yellow were the skins of the people I met, how shaggy the hair of the men, how large and bright their eyes, and that every other man still wore his dirty rags. Their faces seemed all with one of two expressions–a leaping exultation and energy or a grim resolution. Save for the expression of the faces, London seemed a city of tramps. The vestries were indiscriminately distributing bread sent us by the French government. The ribs of the few horses showed dismally. Haggard CHAPTER NINE 103 special constables with white badges stood at the corners of every street. I saw
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little of the mischief wrought by the Martians until I reached Wellington Street, and there I saw the red weed clambering over the buttresses of Waterloo Bridge. At the corner of the bridge, too, I saw one of the common contrasts of that grotesque time–a sheet of paper flaunting against a thicket of the red weed, transfixed by a stick that kept it in place. It was the placard of the first newspaper to resume publication–the DAILY MAIL. I bought a copy for a blackened shilling I found in my pocket. Most of it was in blank, but the solitary compositor who did the thing had amused himself by making a grotesque scheme of advertisement stereo on the back page. The matter he printed was emotional; the news organisation had not as yet found its way back. I learned nothing
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fresh except that already in one week the examination of the Martian mechanisms had yielded astonishing results. Among other things, the article assured me what I did not believe at the time, that the \ Secret of Flying,\ was discovered. At Waterloo I found the free trains that were taking people to their homes. The first rush was already over. There were few people in the train, and I was in no mood for casual conversation. I got a compartment to myself, and sat with folded arms, looking greyly at the sunlit devastation that flowed past the windows. And just outside the terminus the train jolted over temporary rails, and on either side of the railway the houses were blackened ruins. To Clapham Junction the face of London was grimy with powder of the Black Smoke, in spite of two days
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contentment internally. But outwardly they remain violent or unpredictable; an emotional wreck, or a social recluse. Their life is painful, or infuriating, or downright heartbreaking, and their depression is either slowly, or quickly, leading them to a ruin from which they will not return, or the quiet numbness which will become the rest of their lives. But at least it’s familiar. At least it’s what they “know.” In some strange way, their depressive life is balanced. It’s stable, though they themselves may be anything but. And though that depression may cost them their dreams, their lives, their everything, they would rather see it survive than endure the difficulty of change. Such is the strange equilibrium our minds create, of an existence we hate, balanced we hate, balanced by the remedy we fear. Our lives are like a faulty bridge, long left to the destruction
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of time to maintain: somehow held in suspension by a patchwork of support – so tenuous and unstable – yet somehow steady. A fragile steadiness. At least today. At least for now… 39 | 40 But without that support – without the thoughts they have become accustomed to and the depressive mind they have become dependent on – their life no longer makes sense. It no longer holds. And the reality of their world collapses. “What do you mean my thoughts are not true?” “What do you mean that you mean that these other, “cooler” people are no different than me?” “What do you mean that my problems are my responsibility?” An identity crisis. What they knew to be true is no longer so. What they knew at all is gone. The things on which they thought they were certain – who they are, what they’re
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capable of, what they want, and what they need – are now a mystery to them, and without the thoughts that built that reality they feel alone and unnerved. Their darkness may be turned to light, and the burden of their problems lifted, but in their place is a void of certainty with which they are not comfortable. It raises a new kind of fear; one not fear; one not simply a function of the false thoughts of their mind, but rather of their absence; an absence in comfort and security, of what they knew, and know, and expect. They at last realize they know nothing. But in their new knowledge they have hope, and they begin the work of changing their mind and beliefs. “Today I’ll think better.” “Today I’ll think positively.” “Today I’ll trust that I am as good as any other.” But in
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their attempts to change their thoughts, they meet resistance. The thoughts return. And when ignored and brushed aside, they return again. And it continues in this fashion, because their minds know no other existence. They know no other way no other way of working. 40 | 41 They are addicted to their negative thoughts. They are a part of them. They are dependent upon them. And as most addictions are fueled by the mind, so is the mind itself an addiction. And though you may know it to be your undoing, you will find that you cannot help but think what you have always thought, and – at your deepest level – believe what you have always believed; regardless of what you may now know about the mind you once trusted so blindly. Your mind will resist. It will continue to tell you what it has
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told you. And though you will tell you will tell yourself that that is a lie, not to be believed or followed, you will still, at times, do as you have done, even though you know you should do otherwise. You’ll give into your fears. You’ll procrastinate the change you need. You’ll disappoint yourself. Like the junkie who finds himself in some filthy restroom, needle in hand, when someone he loves marries or graduates, or struggles in a hospital, or lies in rest at a funeral. Another commitment he’ll be too high to attend. Another occasion the demons within him will win, when he knows he’s needed elsewhere; when he knows his actions disappoint so many he loves. So despite what you learn, you will still fail yourself at times. You will still struggle. still struggle. Because though you may know the
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thoughts in your head to be lies, you will not know the truth – truly and totally, that you create your life, that no one can hurt you except those you let hurt you – until you experience that for yourself; until you’ve faced your fears and seen the old thoughts as lies. Your mind has gained control over you through a constant flood of negative thoughts and empowerless beliefs; through a cycle of pain and loss, and failure and fear it created. And that cycle, though filled with negativity and hurt, has become your comfort. It is all you know, and the only way you know to live, and so many parts of you would rather see that comfort survive, than see you change. That you change. That power is not broken until the cycle is broken. And that’s what’s most difficult of all. Because
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however you are, with whatever emotional and physical strengths and weaknesses you may have, the mind that created that situation – that created you in the absence of your ability to do so for yourself – does not want to change. It does not want you to change. 41 | 42 It is perhaps the most maddening fact of life that the great many of us are not driven by a desire to improve, but instead resigned to whatever circumstance we now find ourselves in. Inertia. However we are is how are is how we feel compelled to remain – whether good, whether bad, whether happy or depressed. And that’s why you see so many adults, mired in the quiet depression they have accumulated over a lifetime; so very tired of the careers in which they’ve wasted themselves, and the partners to which they’ve committed themselves.
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They know they are unhappy. They may even say so. But when it comes to change – when the choice is put before them to take a different path in life, to put themselves on the road to a more fulfilled and happy life – they do nothing. Because they’ve invested so much in the life they now live; the one they no longer enjoy, and no longer look forward to. They may even They may even hate their life. They may hate what they’ve become. But at least it’s familiar. At least it’s the depression they know, rather than the change they do not, and the future they cannot predict. They’ve spent a lifetime building a sad, sorry life, and they’d hate to throw that away over something as silly as their happiness. It’s fucking stupid. As I was fucking stupid. The mind is dangerous,
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but it is a gift. Ask the squirrel on the tree who’s better able to contribute to the betterment of the world, and the understanding of the universe – you or himself – and he will not answer. He won’t answer, of course, because he can’t answer. He’s a squirrel, and it’s squirrel, and it’s silly that you even asked him anything! He has no mind. He can do nothing to improve his life, or that of those he cares for. But one would imagine that a species – once blessed with the gift of mind – would use that mind to improve upon themselves and their situation. One would imagine that if we gave a pig a mind, he would look around and say: “Wow, I’ve been crawling in the mud and living in the rain. I think I’ll wash up and build a home.”
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42 | 43 And if we gave a fish a mind he would say: “Ah! No wonder I’ve lost every fish I know to these nets. these nets. We keep swimming around the boats dropping bait. I think I’ll swim over here instead.” And if we gave a cow a mind he’d say: “You know what? I don’t think a single cow that’s stepped into that factory has stepped out. I have a feeling this won’t end up too well for me here either. I’d better find a way out.” Yet, when you tell the person complaining of their weight to go to the gym, they say: “It’s too far. It’s too tiring. It’s too much work.” And when you tell the person complaining about their love life to go out and socialize, they say: “It’s too scary. I’ll get rejected. It won’t work.” And when
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you tell the you tell the kid sulking in his bedroom that his parents may have made mistakes, but it’s his responsibility to make of himself what he desires, and no others’, he says: “But my parents are separated, and they don’t understand, and they don’t listen.” The reality is that despite the infinite complaints most have about their life – all the problems, and all the fears, all the goals not yet accomplished and all the dreams never realized; everything they would change about themselves if they could wave a wand and have it happen – despite all of that…really, they are “fine” where they are. Or, more accurately, their mind is fine where it is. It has your power and your trust, and it’s not eager to surrender it. Because to achieve Because to achieve what we want to achieve,
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and change what we want to change, we must change the thoughts that got us where we are and the mind that “helped” us get there. We must surrender the attachments and beliefs which once defined us and move into the uncertainty we cannot predict. When the girl from the beach goes home that day, and eats to medicate the emotional pain she experienced earlier, and every day before it, she does so because her mind is actively creating the person she believes herself to be: “the fat girl.” When she lifts spoon to mouth she tells herself that her dream of a smaller waist is hopeless anyway; that she’s tried it before and it didn’t work, because it was too hard, too much hard, too much work, too painful. 43 | 44 And she’s right. Not because it’s truly impossible, but because her mind works
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against her. And when that’s the case, all things are as she imagines them. All things are hard, and too much work, and too painful. All things are that much more impossible. Because instead of putting her faith in her will and ability, she has instead placed it in the mind that has forever hurt her. She’s given her worst friend power to determine her life and fate. And as a result, she won’t change. She won’t become the person she dreams. She won’t ever feel better about her self about her self or her life. Because her mind is resisting. Her mind is preventing it. It wants her as it wants her. And if her mind is strong enough to make her fat, it’s strong enough to keep her fat. Until she becomes stronger than her mind… 44 | 45 Chapter 10: To
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Challenge the To Challenge the Mind That our minds are dangerous and deceitful, arbitrary and random; that they will eagerly and remorselessly lead our selves and our lives down a path of ruin, is a matter of caution only. The truth is: one can never entirely and completely remove negativity from their mind. We can never remove all doubt and fear, every self-defeating thought and empowerless belief. All minds stray, and all thoughts ebb. The eternally positive person is as fake and delusional as the eternally negative, and it is not possible, nor desirable, to be a robot of positivity. In fact, it seems almost inhuman. Bad things happen. It’s okay to acknowledge them. It’s okay to get pissed off at times, or sad, or or sad, or even angry. It will happen, I promise you. But knowledge is power, as they say. And
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in knowing what your mind has done to you, you have the power and responsibility to see that it never does so again; that it never again pulls you beyond what is the reasonable and understandable reaction, into a depression or fear of its own creation, into the anger and petty disagreements characteristic of so many others. You have the knowledge to discern truth from truth and false from false. And when next your mind, your “friend,” feeds you lies; when next it tells you to quit, or never try, or never hope; when it tells you to scream, and yell, and hate; when it tells you to do exactly to do exactly as you need to do to remain the broken person that you are, you will see that that thought is not truth, but a thought only. Not based in fact. Not based in
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reality. Not worth listening to. Not worth obeying. And when your mind fills your head with fear – of stepping onto that beach, or talking to that cute girl, or doing whatever scares you personally – you’ll no longer cower to the possibility of a reaction you cannot predict, as your thoughts would have you do. You’ll instead push forward, past the thought, and into the unknown. Because screw your mind. Fuck your fears. 45 | 46 They’re irrelevant. They’re irrelevant. They’re not real. They’re nothing more than the firing of random synapses in your brain; your mind’s created reaction to a world it cannot influence and a situation it cannot determine. You now have the wisdom to know better. You have the wisdom to leave your thoughts as thoughts rather than accept them as who you are. Because you are not your thoughts, but instead
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the doer behind them. That you can see them, hear them, deny them, shows that you are not them. You are something more powerful, more dynamic, more strong. You are intelligence, not thought. A person, not a mind. The unknown is where you must make your home if you are to defeat your mind. defeat your mind. It is there – the place you have feared going, the place you have avoided, the place your mind has convinced you that you do not belong – where you will learn and grow. It is there you will free yourself of the pain of your past, and become the person you imagine you can be. It is there you will change. Because while your mind is truly your greatest threat, it is also your most wonderful asset. When you realize that it need not control you, you open
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it to the possibility that it will instead improve you; that it will help rather than hinder, create rather than destroy. And the amazing thing is that it will improve you. Thoughts are indeed Thoughts are indeed addictions. They are repetitive. They are not clever. They’re simply the same tired negativity on repeat, like a broken record. And as easy as it was to become addicted to your negative thoughts, so too will your mind gladly become addicted to more beneficial ones, if only you’re disciplined in offering them. And that process is difficult. It is hard. Your thoughts are much like reflexes: seemingly uncontrollable. When you have lived all your life in the negativity of your mind’s thoughts, to simply drop them suddenly – like nothing – simply because you learned that those thoughts were lies, is likely more fantasy than reality. 46 | 47
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Because the thoughts Because the thoughts are more than just thoughts. They’re stronger. They’re deeper. They’re the strongest of beliefs. And when your mind has met every opportunity with “I can’t,” or every mirror’s reflection with “I’m ugly,” or every stranger’s eyes with the fear of being seen, that initial gut reaction – those first thoughts through your mind’s door – are as instinctual now as the dog’s bark. You cannot help them. If placed on that beach today, that girl – no matter how much of this she has read or how useful she may believe it to be – will likely still think and feel much as she has always thought and felt. She too cannot help it. She’ll think others are watching. She’ll feel ashamed. She’ll feel ashamed. She’ll likely still avert her eyes and condemn herself. She will struggle
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to impose the reality she wants upon the reality she has accepted. There’s nothing wrong with this, nor strange about this. It’s natural. It’s fine. Considering the life she has led and the time her thoughts have had to take hold, she should expect nothing else. Her negative thoughts are now as much a part of her, to her, as the toes on her feet and the fingers on her hand. She has had every moment of every day to become the person she now is. It will likely take more than this single moment to become the person she truly wants to become. And so she will so she will struggle. Her journey will be coarse. Her pain will, at times, return. And though she may not be able to prevent the inevitable relapses of her mind as of yet, neither need she obey them.
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Despite those relapses; despite the future her mind would see prevented and the change it would see thwarted, she must act the part now. She MUST walk proudly anyway. She MUST think she is okay. And you need to too. You NEED to try. You need to believe now that you are capable and whole; that you can do anything and be anything. You need to see that your negative thoughts brought you here, and only positive thoughts will see you through it. Only in Only in believing you can do something, are you able to it. You need to think you’re the shit. You need to believe that there is no one more deserving or more worthy, no one cooler or stronger, no one on this earth who is more awesome or more desirable. 47 | 48 You need to have faith in your self
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above all else, and above all others. You need to trust that within your ability is ability enough to do whatever you endeavor, and whatever you can imagine. Cause why the fuck not? Why waste one more second of your life thinking you suck? Why let one more person win what, by win what, by right, should and must be yours? Why let any crappy thing this world might throw at you defeat you? Why let your mind defeat you? You cannot change your self and yet maintain your old, dead thoughts. One must inevitably conquer the other. Your life, and all lives, exist within the struggle between mind and man; between the self we want to be and the mind that would prevent it. Your mind will resist. Your negative thoughts will persist. But you ignore them. You push beyond them anyway. And as you
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force yourself to disobey your mind; as you force yourself into your fears, your thoughts will change, and your new experiences will reinforce your new beliefs. And over time, And over time, where once you believed yourself to suck, or be powerless, or be weak, you will soon believe and trust in the opposite. You’ll KNOW you’re cool. You’ll KNOW you are whole. You’ll KNOW that you can do anything and be anything. Your beliefs will change. Your mind will become your true friend. And in the thoughts which once tormented you, you will find the seed from which your better life will grow. 48 | 49 Chapter 11: From Seed to Tree, from to Tree, from Thought to See Changing one’s thoughts is not about positivity. In and of itself, positivity will not save your life, like negatively will not destroy
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it. Positivity is not a thing, like thoughts are not things. I do not “enter” positivity. I do not carry a bag of my thoughts. Thoughts are subtle. They are not seen, nor heard, nor felt. They cannot hurt or harm simply and solely because they exist. They do not attack in the day nor injure in the night. They will not kill you. Walking through a crowded street, the thoughts of those around us are unknown. They’re hidden. The man beside you could be consumed with the rise with the rise and fall of the stock market that day. He could be planning some great deed or dreading some grave responsibility. He could be wondering how next he’ll pay his bills or feed his family. Or, he may be agonizing over whether to buy the $1 million home in the Hamptons, or the $900k home
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in the mountains. But then again, it could be none of those. Maybe he’s thinking nothing at all. We just don’t know. We never know. Because the person thinking positively and the person thinking negatively look and appear no different at any given moment, at any given snapshot in time. There is no outward difference in them through their thought alone. This is because thoughts are imagined. are imagined. They’re intangible. They’re nothing. Simply a state of mind; a perceived existence. They are not real. That is, until you believe in them; until you act upon them. This is why distrusting the once negative thoughts in your mind and replacing them with more empowering, positive thoughts is not simply about being a more positive person, because positivity alone does not matter really and will not change you really. A negative thought here or there does no
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harm to you or the wider world. It has no effect. But your actions do. 49 | 50 Where so many go wrong, and cross from the harmless random thoughts harmless random thoughts that annoy them to the destructive, perpetual thoughts which torment them, is in their acceptance and belief in those thoughts, but more importantly in their actions based upon those beliefs. Thoughts have no force but the force we give them, and no power but the power we yield them. A thought is a thought until you act upon it, and only then can it hurt you. Only then is it real. The man leaning against the wall at a party may glance over at the hot girl amongst her friends and have some doubt. That’s fine. It’s not so remarkably unusual and not so incredibly harmful. But if he accepts that thought as
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belief; if he bases his actions upon it actions upon it and DOESN’T go talk to her – doesn’t do as he’s meant to do, doesn’t do as he wants to do – then his thoughts are no longer innocent. They’re no longer imaginary, intangible, simply nothing. They are now real. They are now affecting his life negatively and truly. Only in his belief in his thoughts did his thoughts harm him. Only in his action upon them did they hurt him. What you think, you create. Inevitably. Through your beliefs. Through your actions. In accepting his thoughts as beliefs and acting upon them, this man pretended as though his thoughts were relevant, as if they should have ANY influence on what he should and ought to have done; as have done; as if being afraid or reluctant or nervous was in
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ANY way a valid excuse NOT to do what he needed and wanted to do. Now he is hurting himself. Now he’s affecting the world around him – his world. Now his mind is taking from him the adventures, and experiences, and failures even that would change his life; that would improve his self, and make life fun and adventurous, and downright hilarious.. This is why changing one’s thoughts is not simply about becoming a more positive person, because positivity alone has never saved a life and will not save yours. 50 | 51 Fuck positivity. This whole journey is more important than more important than that. It’s more important than thoughts of sunshine and rainbows, or gloom and doom. It’s about surviving. It’s about realizing that life is difficult enough as it is without the added burden of believing it to be difficult. Why think
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so negatively? Why think the worst? If every misfortune and fear is as the end of the world, then life will never be any easier. It’ll never become a joy. It’ll never be fun. It’s about confidence. It’s about believing and trusting in the faculties within your self to weather any storm and conquer any challenge. You can overcome this obstacle – this most difficult obstacle – because you are you, and there is no one more suitable or more suitable or more capable, no one more worthy or more ready. All your life has prepared you for it, and all your experiences have led you to it, and no matter what happens, whether the most glorious success or the most epic failure, you WILL be okay. You will see another day, you will weather this trying storm, and you will count this experience amongst your
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most positive experiences. It’s about action. It’s about hearing the thoughts in your mind – that you can’t do it, that it’s too difficult, that you won’t succeed – and doing it anyway. Because you know your thoughts are just thoughts, and that your reality is the only real reality. Because you know that only through action will your problems be your problems be solved and your situation improved. Fuck waiting. Fuck hoping. Fuck not trying. Only doing. Only in action will you improve your self and improve your life. We have to think better. We have to believe better. But most important of all, we have to DO better. In our thoughts are our beliefs. In our beliefs are our actions. And in our actions lie our successes and failures. 51 | 52 Until now, your problem has not been the obstacles in your way
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or the challenges you face. It hasn’t been the people who have hurt you or those who have left you. left you. Nor even has it been the thoughts that afflict you or the negativity that surrounds you. It has been, is now, and will always remain your belief in that negativity, and the actions you take, and behaviors you adopt, based upon those beliefs. You believed it was impossible so you gave up. You believed it was hopeless so you didn’t try. You believed you were unworthy, undeserving, incapable so you accepted less than your best. Therein lies your depression. Therein lies the problems you have faced, the people you have shunned, and the self you could not change. You didn’t think you could change. You didn’t believe you could change. And so you did nothing. did nothing. And so you didn’t
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change. You lacked action. You lacked the faith in yourself to do as you needed to do and believe as you needed to believe to become the person you wanted to become – the person you still NEED to become in order to live the life you WANT to live. Your thoughts – your mind – are a means to that end. Thinking positively yields a more positive world, but only in acting upon that positivity will that world become real. Only in changing your behaviors will you cement a change in thought. Because thought cannot change thought. They are the same and are of the same, whether positive or negative. They are just as imaginary, just as arbitrary, just as unreal. Only as unreal. Only experience changes thought. Only experience changes minds. Only in changing my behaviors, my actions, did I truly change my self.
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Only then did I think myself more capable, more worthy, more whole. Only then will you do the same. So you must ask yourself: what is the most direct source of your frustration; what in your life is such a disappointment that it affects you negatively? Why are you lacking confidence? Why are you depressed? 52 | 53 If it’s because of the relationships within your family, how can those relationships be made better, without the anger, and fear, and unforgiveness which has so harmed them to date? What to date? What can you DO? What actions can you take? If it’s because of your lack of company, or friends, or romance, how can you improve yourself so as to improve your interactions, without the fear, and nervousness, and desperation which has so hindered them to date? What can you DO? What actions can you take?
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If it’s because of your direction in life; because of the work you do, or the people you’re with, or the addictions you’ve accumulated – all of which are no longer fulfilling, or meaningful, or beneficial – how can those situations be changed, or those people be dropped without the fear, and neediness, and addiction which has so tethered them to you to date? What can you What can you DO? What actions can you take? Every step towards becoming the person you want to become is a rejection of the person you once were. Every step cements new beliefs, and creates a new reality within your mind. That is change. That is how you change your mind, your situation, your life. 53 | 54 Chapter 12: Conclusion Staring at the mugshot of a murderer, I realized at last that my world was a
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lie, and a lie, and that all the troubles, and all the problems, and all the people – the entire world I fought against and villains I struggled against – existed in my head alone, in my mind only. Or, more accurately, my experience of them existed in my mind only. In my past – in my depression – I thought all the wrong things, yet expected all the right results. And in thinking what I thought and believing what I believed, I acted as if that bullshit were true. I acted as if I were a loser. But how could I ever believe myself to be a loser, yet expect others to see in me something different? How could I believe life to be difficult, yet expect it to come easy? I had easy? I had received what I believed. And what I
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believed was that I was worth nothing; that no one would like me and no one could love me; that I’d forever and always be alone. In my head I had created a sad and somber narrative of me as the victim, and everyone and everything else as my enemy – the cooler kids, the smarter kids, my genetics, my looks, her – and the entire time my mind replayed my most painful memories; to remind me, to persuade me, to weaken me. I thought every person and every thing was against me, when all the while it was me against myself. All along it was my mind. All along and all my life I feared the lion outside of lion outside of my door; convinced of my weakness by the wolf in my bed. My mind had betrayed me. My thoughts had deceived me. When
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I became conscious of their effect, I at last began to truly solve my problems and change my self. I finally knew what I needed to do. Because the truth is…you can’t be whole until you think you’re whole. You can’t be happy until you think you’re happy. You can’t change your life until you do it yourself. 54 | 55 Because the thoughts you allow, are the thoughts you take to heart. And the thoughts you take to heart, become the heart, become the basis of who you are. And who you are determines how you act, how you behave, the values you hold and the actions you take. In your thoughts lie your reality. In your mind lies your world. In your head exists both the problem and the solution to the great struggle that has been your life. Use your mind wisely. Use
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your thoughts positively. Take action, and believe in yourself. To do any less is to limit the very awesome life you could lead, and the very awesome self you could be. So remind yourself always of the murderer, or the fat girl, or any of the countless people you see and meet everyday, who let their minds he freely commented he freely commented on her enormous counter, short keel, great open well, and tall pole-mast. In a short time we stowed all our belongings, and set sail–mainsail, jib, and topsail–the spread of canvas rather startling Wynne, who had only been used to sea yachts. There was a light north-westerly wind, and we glided swiftly away before it. But ere we had sailed a 9 couple of hundred yards, Wynne insisted on our stopping to sketch the White House, at Whitlingham, which, with the trees
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on the hill, the wood-shaded reach of river, and the huge brown sails of the wherries, formed a picture we might well wish to carry away. Wynne often stopped in this way, to the intense disgust of our man, who liked to make his passages quickly, and had no sympathy with artistic amusements. The dyke leading amusements. The dyke leading out of the river by the White House is a regular harbour for pike, which is continually restocked from the river. It is private property, but just at the mouth of the dyke, in the navigable river, is a good spot. At least three hundred pike were taken here last winter by Norwich artisans. \\ What graceful craft these wherries, as you call them, are!\\ remarked Wynne, as he rapidly sketched the high-peaked sail of one which was slowly beating to windward or \\ turning,\\ as
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the vernacular hath it, up the narrow river. [Picture: A Norfolk Wherry] And he was quite right. There is not a line that is not graceful about a Norfolk wherry. She has a long low hull with a rising sheer to stem and stern, which are both which are both pointed. She has a tall and massive mast supporting a single large sail which is without a boom, but has a very long gaff launching out boldly at an angle of forty-five degrees. The curve of the brown or black sail from the lofty peak to the sheet is on all points of sailing a curve of beauty. The wherries are trading crafts carrying from twenty to fifty tons of cargo. They are manned generally by one man, who sometimes has the aid of his wife or children. They are nearly as fast as yachts, sail
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closer to the wind, and are wonderfully handy. The mast is weighted at the keel with one or two tons of lead, and is so well balanced that a lad can lower or raise it with the greatest ease, when it is necessary to pass under a pass under a bridge. Wherries are the most conspicuous objects in a Norfolk broad landscape, and are in sight for miles, as they follow the winding courses of the rivers, often nothing but the sail visible above the green marsh. Very many of these wherries have been converted into sailing house boats or pleasure barges, and so constitute most admirable floating homes for those who like cruising with greater comfort than small yachts can give. It was an hour before we got under way again, and when, after sailing down the long straight reach by Whitlingham, we came in
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sight of the eminence known as Postwick Grove, Wynne wished to land in order that he might see the view from the top. The man burst into open grumbling, so we asked him if the trip were undertaken for his pleasure for his pleasure or ours, and on his reluctantly admitting that it was for ours, we told him it was our pleasure to do as we liked, and he resigned himself to his fate. The watermen on these rivers are very civil, but they look with disfavour upon anything which interferes with actual sailing. Well, the view from Postwick was worth seeing. The curving reaches of the river, animated with yachts, wherries, and boats, lay beneath us, and the green marshes were bounded by the woods of Thorpe, Whitlingham, and Bramerton, while the ruined church of Whitlingham stood boldly on the brow of the opposite
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were of slightly different make and took longer to open. After Thomas had worked over the first one for some time unsuccessfully, Aviler said grimly, \\ It s not working. Get out of here before they come back.\\ \\ I,\\ Thomas said through gritted teeth, \\ do teeth, \\ do not have time for theatrics.\\ Aviler stiffened, but didn t voice any more objections. The manacles came free finally, and Aviler got to his feet in relief. Thomas slipped the plain leather baldric of the trooper s rapier over his head and handed Aviler the main gauche. They passed through the anteroom quickly, hesitating only to make sure the troopers had left behind no other weapons. As Thomas stepped out the doorway onto the landing, he knew he had made a mistake. He heard Aviler gasp an incoherent warning and Thomas dove forward, rolling. This didn
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t help any of his various bruises and when he came to his feet, he staggered. But Aviler was struggling with the trooper who had waited for them beside the door, and as Thomas reached them, Thomas reached them, Aviler managed to plunge the main gauche up into the other man s rib cage. The soldier collapsed with a choked-off gasp and Thomas and Aviler rolled the body back into the anteroom. Breathing hard, Aviler explained, \\ He moved just as you went out and I saw him. Was he there all along?\\ \\ No, he could have easily taken me when I was strangling the other one. Probably came looking for him when he didn t come back for the others.\\ Thomas cast a look back to check the landing, which stretched quietly into darkness in either direction, doorways leading off it and the staircase
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opening directly in front of them. Aviler stripped off the soldier s baldric and tossed the extra main gauche to Thomas. The High Minister slung the baldric over his baldric over his shoulder and picked up the trooper s fallen rapier. Something that jingled as it hit the floor fell from the trooper s baldric and Aviler nudged it with a boot. \\ This was the one with the keys,\\ he said, with an ironic lift of an eyebrow. Thomas snorted. \\ My luck.\\ They stepped out onto the landing. Hesitating a moment to get his bearings, Thomas saw the bob of lamplight on the stair below. \\ This way,\\ he said, and led Aviler down to another doorway. It opened onto a progression of rooms that, if Thomas was where he thought he was, would eventually give onto another staircase. The rooms were as dark
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as the pit, but they had been meant to be viewed as a set, so the doors were all in the same position in the same position on the left-hand side of the hearths and were unblocked by furniture, making it relatively easy to cross them even in almost complete darkness. They had made it through the third room when they heard a shout of alarm and running footsteps from the landing. They stopped to listen, but no one came in their direction. Aviler whispered, \\ I don t suppose they re going to think that thing ate both of us, killed the two guards, then wandered off.\\ Thomas smiled grimly. \\ They could try to tell Denzil that, but I don t think it would be very well received.\\ They came to the last room, and through its open door, Thomas could see the landing
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of the other stairwell, lit wanly by one candle in the silver and rock-crystal silver and rock-crystal chandelier hanging above it. Across the threshold was the Chapter Seventeen 204 body of a young woman, the gray and brown of her skirts marking her as a servant. Thomas stepped over her without bothering to pause. He was growing used to seeing dead women and had stopped looking for familiar faces; since it was likely he would be killed at any moment himself, it hardly seemed to matter. After a moment he heard Aviler follow him. Just as they came out onto the landing, the muffled explosion of a pistol shot destroyed the silence. They both instinctively dove for the stairs. They reached the landing below and cut through another dark suite back the way they had come. The first room was unlit and
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was unlit and crowded with dark shapes of furniture. Soldiers were pounding down the stair behind them and Thomas could not find the doorway. He stumbled on a low table, then turned and put his back against the wall. The men coming after them would have oil lamps, and the light would be momentarily blinding. Then there was a muffled thump and Aviler gasped in pain, then said harshly, \\ Over here, a door.\\ Thomas made his way toward Aviler s voice and found the edge of a narrow door. Aviler whispered, \\ It s a servants stair.\\ He climbed down a few steps, and Thomas stepped inside, closing the door after them. In the unfamiliar room, it was doubtful the Alsene troopers would find the stair, which had a door meant to blend into the paneling, but the paneling, but Thomas didn t breathe easily
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until he heard them clatter through the room, cursing and knocking things over, then retreat. After some moments of silence he said lightly, \\ I won t comment on your clumsiness since it saved our lives.\\ \\ Someone else wasn t so lucky,\\ Aviler replied out of the dark. \\ There s a body down here.\\ Yes, there would be fay roaming here. This is not going to get any easier, Thomas thought, straightening up and feeling for the wall to guide him down. \\ He didn t come down here without a lamp,\\ Aviler was muttering. Before Thomas could point out that he might very well have, Aviler said, \\ Yes, here it is.\\ After more fumbling, Aviler found the man s tinderbox man s tinderbox and managed to light the lamp. \\ Good God,\\ he said softly, standing up and looking down in disgust
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at the corpse the wan light revealed. \\ What could have done that to his head… No, don t speculate; I d rather be surprised.\\ They heard footsteps in the rooms overhead and voices from below, and moved a few steps down the narrow stairs. But the door with its heavy covering of carved paneling and flocked paper cut much of the noise from outside. Aviler looked around, lifting the lamp high. The original stone of the wall was to one side, radiating cold like a block of ice, and the wooden bones of the lath and plaster facing to the other. The air was stuffy and thick with dust. This was technically a servants passage, servants passage, though it had probably been installed more with an eye to moving about quickly and unobtrusively in the event of a palace coup. The years before the reign
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of Ravenna s father had not been calm or untroubled. \\ We re on the west side of the Old Palace,\\ Aviler said quietly. \\ We could get out through the siege wall into the Old Courts…\\ Thomas sheathed the rapier and drew the shorter main gauche, which would be more effective in these close surroundings. \\ If we can get there. The King s Bastion is probably still sealed off from the other side. Most of the troops are quartered right below us.\\ He took a soft step down the narrow stairs, careful of the creaking boards that would betray their presence. The bogle dropped The bogle dropped from above. It landed on Aviler, knocking him forward. He dropped the candlelamp and Chapter Seventeen 205 the flame guttered wildly, threatening to leave them in darkness. Aviler stumbled into Thomas, who caught himself against the wall.
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He turned, getting a grip on the thing s greasy skin below its neck and dragging it off the other man. It turned on him more swiftly than a cat, claws flailing, and he stabbed it with the main gauche. It dropped and he saw that Aviler had gotten it from behind with their late guard s dagger. It struggled wildly on the steps, its claws scrabbling on the wood, a random swipe of one long arm sending Thomas staggering back into the wall. Then it froze into immobility. They froze into immobility. They stared at one another, breathing hard, then Aviler wiped the blood from the scratches on his forehead. He said softly, \\ That was rather a noisy episode. Do you think anyone heard?\\ After listening for a moment, Thomas shook his head. \\ No, they d be hacking through the wall by now.\\
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He leaned back against the stone, considering their options. They would have to make for one of the rooms along the outside wall. And they could go no lower than this floor: the levels below had no windows. And what was Kade doing now? That she was planning something he had no doubt. Fortunately Grandier would have as little chance to guess what it was as he had. Kade made her strategy on the run, which was poor planning in a chess game, but chess game, but in real life tended to make opponents waste time bumbling around wondering what in hell she was thinking. The only problem was her inclination to the dramatic. Would Grandier consider that? He looked up to find Aviler watching him narrowly. At his look of inquiry Aviler said, \\ You haven t yet pointed out that I was wrong about
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Denzil and you were right.\\ Thomas said dryly, \\ I thought the consequences so obvious that calling further attention to it was unnecessary.\\ Aviler snorted and shook his head. \\ Even though you ve saved my life, I can t seem to bring myself to like you.\\ \\ That s probably just as well.\\ Thomas was thinking of ways to rooms with outside windows, and that the nearest could only nearest could only be reached by using this wall passage to travel directly through the part of the palace Denzil had made his stronghold. And why not? They won t be searching for us there. And there s less chance of running into more fay. There was also another possibility in that direction to be explored. \\ Did you know about the spyhole near the third-floor council chambers?\\ Aviler s eyes widened. \\ No, I did
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not.\\ \\ Denzil doesn t either. When Dontane took me to those chambers, they had their maps laid out, so it must be where they plan their troop movements at the very least.\\ He could tell the notion appealed to Aviler. \\ You think it would be worth it, for what we might hear?\\ \\ Perhaps not, \\ Perhaps not, but it is on our way.\\ * * * There were voices coming from the direction of the faint glow of light. \\ Why you?\\ It s my plan, Thomas started to say. Instead, he put a properly sardonic note in his voice and said, \\ Another noble impulse? You re the only one who has a chance of convincing Roland of any of this; don t you consider that a little more important than your pride?\\ They were crouching in the narrow darkened wall passage,
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beside a gap in the baseboard just large enough for an agile spy. But someone had been through this servants passage at some point strewing the floor with iron Chapter Seventeen filings, so they filings, so they couldn t afford to waste time here. The hole in the baseboard had an extra helping of iron sprinkled around it, but there was no sign that its real purpose had been discovered. 206 Aviler glared, and gestured reluctantly. \\ All right, damn you.\\ As Thomas bent to scramble under the lintel, Aviler added, \\ Eventually that little tactic is going to fail, then what will you do?\\ Thomas grinned to himself. \\ Hit you over the head.\\ From inside the cramped spyhole, he could see the gap carefully cut into the planks below the wall, leading into a narrow crawl space below the first council room. They were
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there, right enough. He recognized Dontane s voice, but it was impossible to distinguish individual words. He would words. He would have to try to get over to the next room. The crawl space was perhaps two feet high, the bottom made of planks supported by the thick wooden rafters of the room below, lit by soft candlelight finding its way through the cracks in the floorboards above. On the far side, where the wall of the second council room had been erected, another hole had been torn in the baseboards, allowing access to the crawl space below the next room. That was where the voices were coming from. Well, it would be, Thomas thought. He sat back, pulling off and laying aside the baldric and rapier, which would be far more trouble than it was worth in the narrow space. He hesitated over the main
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gauche, which would be equally unhandy at his back where it could catch on things catch on things or in the front of his sash poking him determinedly in the stomach. He settled for wedging it down into his boot, though he knew if he encountered anything more hostile than a rat, he was a dead man. He worked his way slowly across the crawl space, trying to keep from choking on the dust, gasping in pain when his bruised ribs encountered the sharp corners of a rafter. About halfway across, something sharp bit through the leather of his glove and he jerked his hand back. It was only a nail loose on the planks. Then he took a closer look and saw the boards of the crawl space were sprinkled with them. They must have fallen down through the cracks from above. Denzil did not
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trust his fay allies at all. Thomas edged closer Thomas edged closer to the gap. The voices were distinctly louder here. And louder. Damn them, he thought; they re coming in here. There was no time to move as a door squeaked open nearly overhead. He froze as heavy footsteps sounded on the floorboards of the room above and Denzil s voice said, \\ God, you re such a fool.\\ \\ I didn t have to tell you,\\ Dontane replied, his tone surly. You prick, you ve been so splendidly stupid, why did you have to ruin it by thinking? Thomas had counted on Dontane being fool enough to try to hide their escape from Denzil as well as from Grandier. \\ You did if you wanted to live. You idiot, I would have gotten rid of him in time.\\ Footsteps paced overhead, a
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long paced overhead, a long winter cloak brushed the floor. Thomas winced as Denzil came to stand by a dark area that must be a cabinet or other large piece of furniture, the Duke s boots almost directly over his hiding place. He was cramped and his shoulders were aching, but he dared not shift his position. \\ They can t escape,\\ Dontane protested. \\ Of course they can. Boniface knows the palace very well; he s been spying on everyone in it for years.\\ \\ I m not a fool, damn you, I was–\\ Chapter Seventeen 207 \\ It doesn t matter, not at this point.\\ There was a hesitation, then Denzil asked softly, \\ What position do you want when do you want when I take the throne? Court Sorcerer?\\ Ah. I should have known Denzil would contrive to sell everyone to
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everyone else, Thomas thought. He s lured Dontane away from Grandier, that was why our mercenary friend was so afraid. \\ Will the nobles accept me?\\ Dontane spoke slowly, diverted by visions of the future. \\ They will if I order it.\\ They might at that. Anything to keep Denzil away from home and family. The door opened again, and a young man s voice, shy with hero worship said, \\ My lord, there s a message.\\ \\ Thank you.\\ Denzil s voice warmed, probably out of habit. He would keep no one close to him who was not his absolute slave. How it must How it must gall him that Grandier remained his own man. Dontane had probably been an easy conquest. Paper crackled, then with a smile in his voice, Denzil said, \\ Villon has reached Bel Garde.\\ Thomas caught his breath. \\ No.\\
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Dontane sounded horror-stricken. \\ The cavalry–\\ \\ The siege engine cavalry,\\ Denzil corrected gently. \\ How could he get here so quickly?\\ \\ If the messages went to the Granges yesterday, if Villon left his Train of Ordnance behind and traveled through the night, it could be done easily.\\ \\ Without Grandier s help I couldn t possibly hold him off.\\ \\ Yes, if Evadne hadn t failed I d have Roland by now.\\ Denzil was silent for was silent for a moment, possibly calculating the time as Thomas was. It would have been impossible to conceal the cavalry s movement up the plain to Bel Garde; they would have been spotted easily from the city wall. But it would have taken time to send the message through the dangerous snow-choked streets. And Villon was a cautious general, preferring maneuver and siegecraft to pitched battle. He
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had taken Bel Garde as a base from which to stage his attack. Denzil said, \\ It s unfortunate. If I can t keep Bisra from attacking us in what they will perceive as our weakness, Lord General Villon would be useful. But he won t deal with me. I hope he has more amenable officers. You ll have to send the Host against him.\\ \\ Grandier won t allow it. He allow it. He s counting on Villon to help lead the attack against Bisra.\\ \\ And counting on me to convince Villon to support my claim to the throne. But I can t… I won t do that. He is an old friend of Ravenna s, you see.\\ Denzil was not going to allow a war with Bisra. He wouldn t want a kingdom locked in struggle, war torn and poor. And he really
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didn t need a war to put him on the throne; he only needed the threat of it. He s going to hold Bisra off somehow. If he can. If he gets past Grandier, Thomas thought. Chapter Seventeen \\ I want you to speak to your friends in the Host and persuade them to attack Villon tonight,\\ Villon tonight,\\ Denzil said. \\ I ll go now, but–\\ 208 \\ Don t go now; wait until dusk. I don t want Grandier to learn of it. We can scarcely ask him to arrange the cloud cover for us, so they will have to wait until dark anyway.\\ Footsteps crossed the floor to pause near Dontane. \\ Take care. Everything depends on you.\\ Does it? Thomas thought. Does it really? He heard them move toward the door. As soon as it closed he rolled away from his painful
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position over the rafter and began to work his way back toward the hole in the baseboard, half-formed plans turning in his head. He had almost reached it when there was the thump of a chair pushed a chair pushed aside, hurried steps crossed the floor, and the door banged open. Thomas swore and scrambled through the opening into the spyhole. Dontane and Denzil had departed, but he had never heard the messenger boy leave. He grabbed up his sword and baldric and ducked under the lintel back into the passage. \\ Well?\\ Aviler demanded. \\ Move. Someone heard me.\\ They made their way through the twists and turns of the passage and up a narrow flight of rickety stairs. \\ Villon s reached Bel Garde,\\ Thomas said. \\ Thank God. The court got through.\\ \\ It s not over yet. Denzil s sending the Host
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against him tonight–despite Grandier s orders to the contrary. Villon will have to be warned.\\ They came warned.\\ They came to a door with a thin line of chill daylight leaking under it. Thomas listened at it, then carefully prized it open. The room outside was a long formal dining room lit by slanting gray morning sunlight from tall windows opening onto a portico. It was undisturbed except for a little snow that had blown in through a window left carelessly open; the scene had the strange still quality of a painting. Thomas crossed the room and opened the window further, stepping out onto the portico. The tiled floor was heavily laden with ice, and he held carefully to the light railing and looked out on a view of the garden courts and the siege wall, the bastion rising up beyond. To the north was the
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open land of the park, and cut off from sight by the sight by the side of the Gallery Wing would be the Postern Gate. The ground was two stories down from the bottom of the portico. He stepped back through the window to lift a heavy velvet drapery cord. \\ Think you could make it?\\ Aviler nodded. \\ Of course.\\ They started to tear down the drapes, pulling loose the cords and discarding the ones that had gotten wet from the open window and had stiffened with ice. Aviler tied off a section and tested it, then said, \\ We can secure it to the table. It s heavy enough to support a dozen men, so–\\ \\ It won t have to. Just you. I m staying here.\\ Chapter Seventeen Aviler frowned at Aviler frowned at him. \\ What do you
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mean?\\ 209 Thomas tied off two cords and reached for another. \\ There s barely enough time for you to make it across the city to Bel Garde by nightfall on a good day. I m going to try to stop them here.\\ Aviler looked incredulous. \\ How?\\ \\ I don t know,\\ Thomas snapped. He didn t want to give Aviler the chance to talk him out of this. He controlled himself with effort and said more calmly, \\ Apparently Dontane s the only one who can talk to the Host besides Grandier. If I can stop him–\\ \\ That would help immeasurably, of course, but Villon is hardly going to be unprepared for an attack by an attack by night. That he s here now means he knows what s happened. He will realize the danger.\\ \\ And with Ravenna dead you re the
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only one who knows for certain that Denzil is a danger. Even if the attack on Villon fails, all Denzil has to do is ride up to Bel Garde tomorrow and ask to speak to Roland alone.\\ Aviler hesitated. Thomas could see him turning over that image and not liking what he saw. But Aviler shook his head. \\ Outright assassination would hardly serve his purpose–\\ \\ It wouldn t have to be that. But it s hardly politic to allow the man who s near destroyed a city so he can usurp the throne unlimited access to the King.\\ \\ All right, all right.\\ right, all right.\\ Aviler shook his head impatiently. \\ I ll go on. But I think you re only going to succeed in killing yourself.\\ \\ Probably,\\ Thomas admitted. They finished the makeshift rope and tied it off, and Thomas told
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Aviler the way over the canal and through the Postern Gate that he and Kade had used. They secured the rope to the table, and with Thomas to hold it steady, Aviler started to climb. The High Minister disappeared over the portico with no more than a whispered \\ good luck\\ and Thomas was grateful, loath to countenance any attempt at sentimentality at this point. When Aviler had reached the snowy ground and vanished into the shelter of the garden walls and frozen hedges below, Thomas pulled the makeshift rope up and bundled up and bundled it into the bottom cabinet of one of the sideboards. With luck the tangled draperies would look like an aborted attempt at looting. He closed the window and slipped quietly out of the room. Chapter Eighteen Chapter Eighteen 210 ROLAND COULD NOT stop shivering. He sat near the fire in
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a windowless interior chamber at Bel Garde. A salon meant for entertaining, its walls were softened by cloth-of-gold draperies and the overmantel and borders delicately painted with black grotesques on gilt backgrounds. Fretfully looking around the room, Roland s eyes lit on a silver and gold filigreed perfume burner he had given Denzil some months ago, and it occurred to Roland just how isolated he had become from the others in his court. He had court. He had no other close confidant or advisor but Denzil; most of those who had surrounded him were his cousin s companions, not his, and he had no wish to see any of them. Lord General Villon had arrived with his men not long ago, and the walls of the little fortress had almost trembled from the cheers of the other guards. After Ravenna s death their situation had seemed
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hopeless, and now for the first time there was a chance for revenge and victory. Roland had been just as glad as the others to see them, but he was nervous of Villon, knowing the General s opinion of him was not a high one. And having to greet the old warrior with news of the Dowager Queen s death… Behind Roland, in the center of the room, Villon and room, Villon and his officers, their cloaks still steaming from melting snow, met with Renier and the Queen s Guard lieutenant who had brought Falaise. They were talking intently, pointing to the maps laid out on the round table, making some plan. Roland had no wish to join in their council. They all thought him a coward, or a fool, and perhaps they were right. A new voice made Roland look up, and he saw that
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Elaine had been brought in again. The hem of her skirt was torn and dirty, and her face was a pale oval in the candlelight. Her only companion was an Albon knight standing at her elbow as if she were a prisoner, and Roland wondered if she had been left to sit in some cold anteroom, without even a maid to accompany her. Such treatment suddenly reminded him suddenly reminded him of one of Fulstan s more subtle tricks, when Roland had been left alone in a bare room to contemplate his fate for hours, only to discover later that the King had left the palace and that there would be no punishment after all. \\ Hasn t anyone even sent for a lady to care for her?\\ Roland interrupted. All heads turned toward him, and he wished they would stop looking at him as if
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he were mad, or had just grown an extra limb. \\ God, just let her alone. Your damned questions are worthless.\\ \\ At once, m lord,\\ someone said. Roland found himself meeting General Villon s expressionless gaze and quickly looked away. Elaine still stood shivering in the center of the room and he motioned her to come over by the fire. by the fire. She came obediently, taking a low cushioned stool near his chair, moving stiffly as if the cold and shock had solidified her muscles. Roland felt more at ease in her presence. Here, at least, was someone who knew he could not have disobeyed his mother s order, who did not think him a coward. If he had stayed in the tower he would be dead as well, or Bel Garde overrun by fay and they would all be prisoners. But he wondered
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if he would have had the courage to order his own son or daughter to safety while he met death. I will never know, because we ll all die here and I will never live to have a son or daughter… There was more quiet talk, but the council seemed to be over. Roland stared into the fire, trying the fire, trying not to see images it hurt to think about. Since hearing Falaise s tale, he had sunk deeper into grief and pain, and he felt powerless to help himself. He heard Renier move up behind his chair, and he said the words he had been living on since that moment in the tower. \\ He will explain himself. There will be some reason.\\ \\ Yes, my lord,\\ a soft voice answered. \\ But if he meant to betray you, wouldn t he also have
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a reason, a clever lie?\\ Roland looked down at Elaine, startled, and heard Renier gasp. He glanced up and saw that his Preceptor looked as shocked as if a pet cat had spoken. But Roland knew that his mother would not have had women close to her who were fools; they were fools; they had been at the focal point of the court with her. Chapter Eighteen 211 Renier stepped forward to take Elaine s arm and Roland motioned him away, irritated at the interruption. He wanted to talk, and the young woman s eyes were red and bruised from crying and the expression in them anything but cruel. \\ If he loved me how could he betray me?\\ he asked, hearing the tears in his own voice. \\ If he loved you, he couldn t,\\ she whispered. Roland hesitated. If his mother had asked it
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of her, this woman would have flung herself off the roof of the highest tower in the city. She would believe whatever Ravenna had told her to believe. But Ravenna believe. But Ravenna was not here to tell her what to say now. If Elaine was repeating his mother s views, it was only because she believed in them herself. \\ You were close as boys,\\ Elaine persisted. \\ I remember it. But didn t he change?\\ Didn t he? Roland asked himself. Had the teasing turned to mockery? I know he has a cruel streak. God, he could hardly hide it. \\ That was because…\\ Roland began, and thought, because after I tried to die, he knew how much I needed him, and he thought me pathetic, and it made him feel powerful. He felt anger stir in him, old tired anger. \\ Yes, he
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changed.\\ They sat in silence for a time, until a matron who had been one of Ravenna s gentlewomen Ravenna s gentlewomen came for Elaine. She let the older woman lead her away, but reluctantly, with a worried glance back at Roland. * * * The frigid wind tore at Kade s hair, blowing it into her face, and she shook it away irritatedly. \\ You ll be ready?\\ The gold and amber fay leaned on his pikestaff and looked down at her with a smile. \\ If you can flush the birds, my lady, we can chase them.\\ It was late afternoon, the sky a low solid gray like the polished surface of an ancient shield, the housetops around them still sheathed in ice and snow. Kade had left Boliver at Knockma, to help the others pack what was necessary and to take them through
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the ring to Chariot, another of her another of her mother s enchanted castles. She hadn t been to it for years, so it would not occur to the Host to search for her there. She had little memory of what it was like, except that it was big and old, and hidden rather prosaically in the hills of Monbeaudreux, a province in the south. It was protected from the Bisran border by steadily rising mountains that were too high and rugged to cross except on foot. The summer and spring lasted longer there, and they grew olive trees. At the moment it sounded like heaven. The fay from the Seelie Court, with his white blond hair, delicate features, and the embroidered satin of his doublet and cloak, was unreal in this world of gray and white. \\ Chase them far,\\ Kade told him. \\ I
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don t want them turning t want them turning back on us. I ve paid enough for it.\\ \\ To the ends of the earth, and that will be a pleasure.\\ The fay swept a bow to her, and suddenly a golden hawk glittered in the air beside her, and with a powerful sweep of its wings, it shot toward the sky. Kade watched him until he disappeared into the clouds. She couldn t afford mistakes, and she wasn t at all sure of herself. She had been lax over the last few years, using what she could of the swift instinctive fay magic, depending on glamour and illusion. Swift, and in the end ineffective against the sorcery that was practiced so painstakingly, using as poor a tool as letters from a dead language s alphabet to symbolize concepts that passed understanding. With fay
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understanding. With fay magic it was impossible to attempt something beyond one s skill; with sorcery it was all too possible, and all too deadly. Chapter Eighteen Kade hugged herself and shivered. She hadn t given sorcery the long hours of study it needed. Her efforts 212 seemed so ungainly compared to the elegant and involved work of sorcerers like Galen Dubell and Dr. Surete. Both of whom are dead now, she thought, savagely, and at least I m alive. But it all came home to rest in the end, and she had taken the easy way out far too often. Kade knew she should have returned to make up with Roland at once after their father had died. She would not have had to stay long, and stay long, and it might have made the difference in so many things. If she went
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to him now to tell him about Denzil, he would never believe her. The glass ball Titania had traded her was in a deep pocket of her smock, and when it brushed against her she could feel the warmth radiating out of it even through all her layers of clothing. God, I hope it s contained, she thought. I hope it s not sapping my strength or power, or leaking something into the ether that s going to interfere with the spell. She was not at all sure that what she was attempting would work. She had bought the Seelie Court s help with Knockma, and they would hound the Host from the city, but she would have to stir the creatures out of the palace herself. Kade heard palace herself. Kade heard something at the edge of the roof, then saw a small fay with
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ugly wizened features and cornflower blue hair peering at her over the edge. Its narrow eyes widened at her, and she snarled, \\ Bugger off.\\ It vanished, and she stretched, easing the tension in her tight shoulders. She was a little shocked to realize it was not the cold that was making her tremble. It s going to work, she told herself. It s not going to work, a little voice answered. I m going to die. She took out a pinch of the gascoign powder and rubbed it into her eyes. Looking toward the palace s towers, she could now see the corona of shifting light that played over them, colors touching and fading into one another. There should still be gaps still be gaps between the wards high in the air above the palace; there hadn t been time for them to draw all
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the way together, and the higher they were in the air, the slower they would move. Here I go, she thought, and flung herself into the sky. Kade had wings, and for a moment only, an unfamiliar instinct told her to use them. Colors changed; blurred outlines in the distance became sharp and clear. Her vision was incredible. Shadows had edges like razors, and her eyes found movement–the flutter of a curtain s edge through a broken window, the slight rustle of a frost-covered tree s branches in a garden court–that she would never detect with human sight. Kade realized she was gliding in a circle over the High Minister s house, then she realized she was flying. For a was flying. For a moment human thought and hawk instinct clashed, and her wings flapped frantically. She dropped like a stone. Kade forced herself to let
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go, to let the unfamiliar senses guide her, and her wings made the correct angle and she caught the wind again. She thought she had the trick of it now. One had to exercise enough control to keep one s memory and purpose, but had to give the hawk enough rein to control the body. She made a slow circle to face toward the palace, watching the ground rush by below in impossibly fine detail and trying not to think about what her wings were doing. Kade had not taken this form lightly. She knew that hawks, who could dive from hundreds of feet in the air and pluck a mouse off a forest off a forest floor, would have good eyesight and that with the gascoign powder she would have a chance of finding the gap in the wards. The smaller body would make slipping
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slowly over to slowly over to where the Columbine actress still sat in a pile of scrap wood. She was watching the monster burn with a grin of undisguised triumph. He already knew who she must be, but it still took him what seemed moments to put together the direct gray eyes and the long straight nose with a forgotten portrait in an upstairs hall, and with the wildness of the magic she had just performed. Kade looked up at him, met his gaze, then winked. Chapter Five Chapter Five THOMAS SAID, \\ MAY I congratulate you on a spectacular entrance?\\ The sorceress looked up at him from the floor. After a moment, her lips twisted ruefully. \\ It was one of my best.\\ 49 Dubell 49 Dubell moved to Thomas s side. He looked at what was left of the Arlequin, at the
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destruction in the gallery, and down at Kade. \\ Was this your doing?\\ His voice was incredulous. For a moment her expression was that of a small boy caught stealing an apple. \\ No.\\ As she got to her feet, Thomas saw there were wood chips in her hair from the broken column the Arlequin had thrown at her. She looked defensive. \\ It followed me here.\\ Thomas moved a few paces away from them. The Cisternans and his own men were scattered, collecting the wounded and the dead. There were still courtiers milling around toward the end of the room. Now would be a terrible time for a pitched battle. Dubell a pitched battle. Dubell met Kade s eyes a long moment, then he said thoughtfully, \\ Did it really?\\ \\ Well, in a way it did.\\ She began to pull the splinters out of
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her hair. \\ But it joined the troupe before I did, and I think it killed one of the clowns to get a place. I would have stopped it sooner but I d touched some iron, and it took a bit to wear off.\\ Renier and a group of Albon knights burst in through the archway and started toward them. The hide and sackcloth coats they wore over the lace and velvets of court finery made them look like ancient barbarians arriving to loot a city. Thomas went forward quickly to stop Renier. \\ Let Dubell handle her,\\ he said in a said in a low voice. Renier signaled his knights to halt. \\ Who is she?\\ \\ Kade Carrion.\\ Renier stared. \\ My God, we ve got to…\\ \\ No,\\ Thomas said pointedly. \\ If he can get us out of this without a bloodbath,
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we ve got to let him try.\\ The big knight considered a moment, then nodded tensely. \\ Very well.\\ He signaled the other knights to move back. Thomas nodded, thankful that while Renier wasn t a particularly brilliant statesman, he wasn t a bloodthirsty idiot either. \\ Did she cause all this?\\ Renier asked, looking around at the chaos in the gallery. Thomas glanced back at Kade and Galen Dubell. She was watching them, wary watching them, wary and a little angry. Her brows were darker than the pale blond of her hair, so the effect was that when she was looking at you, you knew it. He thought about her leaping to push the other actress out of danger and said slowly, \\ I don t think so.\\ Then Kade s eyes focused past them and her expression changed. Thomas followed her gaze and swore.
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Roland stood in the archway the knights had come through. Thomas said, \\ Renier…\\ Chapter Five \\ What?\\ The knight looked around and gasped, \\ Damn that boy.\\ He sheathed his sword and strode toward Roland, deliberately placing himself between the King and the sorceress. Thomas looked back toward Kade, aware that the other guards in the room in the room had held off on his order. He would have to decide what he minded more, dying or behaving this stupidly. Galen Dubell was watching Kade thoughtfully. With gentle firmness he said, \\ Kade, don t.\\ She looked up at the older man, her eyes losing some of their intensity. \\ I didn t come here to kill anyone–even him.\\ 50 Renier, as Preceptor of the Albon Knights and the only man in Ile-Rien allowed to touch the King without his permission, seized Roland s arm
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and hustled him out of sight. Dubell watched as they disappeared, then turned a worried eye on Kade. \\ Then why did you come here?\\ She smiled. \\ For an audience with my dear brother, of course.\\ And that, course.\\ And that, Thomas thought, is not going to help matters at all. * * * The gallery smelled of ash and sour wine. Many of the chandeliers and lamps had gone out, throwing the upper half of the huge chamber into shadow. The court had been dispersed, and Ravenna, Roland, and Falaise had retired to a nearby solar with watchful guards. A breeze, created by an open door or window somewhere up one of the long galleries, swept gently through the huge chamber, lifting the heat and the stench for a moment. \\ How long had he been with the troupe?\\ Thomas asked Baraselli. The Aderassi
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actor-manager moaned and would have sunk to his knees again but for the two Queen s guards who were struggling to hold him up. hold him up. The Master of Revels hovered worriedly nearby; it was on his responsibility the troupe had passed the final check at the gate. \\ No one s done anything to you, and no one will, if you just answer the question.\\ Thomas kept his voice mild, despite his growing irritation. It was easier to question recalcitrant anarchists under torture than someone who was so busy collapsing that he could hardly stay coherent enough to speak. \\ Only a month. Only a month. I didn t know.\\ Dubell had moved quietly up behind the actor-manager. His lips moved soundlessly for a moment, then he looked up at Thomas and nodded. Baraselli was telling the truth. \\ Who recommended him?\\ Thomas nodded
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to the guards, who cautiously released their hold of the man and stepped the man and stepped back. Baraselli swayed on his feet, but stayed upright. \\ It was his first mask, he told me. He d learned it from an old actor he lived near. He did it well, and he came to us just after Derani died…\\ \\ Who was Derani?\\ \\ He played the Arlequin until he died of fever.\\ Chapter Five Dubell asked, \\ What were the symptoms?\\ 51 Baraselli whipped around, staring up at the tall sorcerer in fear, but something in Dubell s expression and mild demeanor calmed him and he said, \\ He… His skin was hot to the touch, and his wife said he couldn t keep anything down, not even down, not even water, and he had blood in his, pardon, piss, and…
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We paid to have the apothecary in to him, but he just died.\\ There was something familiar about that. And convenient, for the Arlequin. Thomas asked, \\ When was this?\\ \\ Last month. Well, a month and a fortnight ago.\\ Thomas shook his head, pressing his lips together. There was a pattern here, a deadly one. He looked up at Dubell. \\ About a month and a fortnight ago Dr. Surete s assistant Milam fell down a stairway in the North Bastion and broke his neck. A week after that Surete himself died of pleurisy. It came on suddenly, and by the time anyone realized how serious it was, he was dead.\\ Dubell s brows drew together as he considered as he considered it. He said, \\ It s the easiest of dark magics to bring sickness, and the hardest to detect. It s simplicity itself
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to send a bookish and uncoordinated young scholar down a staircase. If one has the stomach for that sort of thing, of course.\\ He nodded at Baraselli. \\ He s telling the truth, and I doubt he can reasonably be held responsible for Kade s actions. What will be done with him?\\ Even without the confirmation of Dubell s truth spell, Thomas was inclined to believe Baraselli. He had observed enough people under stress to read the sincerity in those hysterics. He told the Master of Revels, \\ Give him his money and tell him to take the others and go away.\\ Baraselli sobbed and tried to fall to his knees in thanks. knees in thanks. The Master of Revels gestured sharply to the Cisternans waiting nearby, who intercepted the actor-manager in mid-grovel and hauled him away. \\ It s either a hell of a coincidence,
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or a hell of a plot,\\ Thomas said quietly to Dubell. He knew which he favored. The old sorcerer sighed. \\ There are no coincidences.\\ Thomas watched him thoughtfully. \\ I would have thought it difficult for a wizard to hex another wizard, especially someone like Dr. Surete. He was the Court Sorcerer for two decades.\\ \\ If a sorcerer is in fear for his life, he might test every object he is about to touch with a sprinkle of gascoign powder or some other preparation that reveals the presence of magic.\\ Dubell made an absent gesture. \\ But Surete and \\ But Surete and Milam were not in fear for their lives. The spell could have come to them on anything–a forged letter purporting to be from a friend, an apple sold to them by a street vendor…\\ As Dubell stood lost in thought, Thomas
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watched the sorceress. Kade Carrion was pacing around the remains of the stage which the servants were dismantling. As she walked around the painted panels scattered on the floor and the stacks of singed planks, he had two distinct impressions of her. The first was that she was only a young girl with a tangled mop of hair and a tattered red dress, not oblivious to the consternation she was causing but not particularly worried by it, either. The other was that here was a creature ephemeral yet solid and real, who walked with the night and the night and the wild hunt. Dubell is the only one who really knows her, Thomas thought. And even he isn t certain what her game is now. If she hated her brother and the rest of the royal family as much as she claimed, she wasn t without
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motive. Their father Fulstan hadn t been much use as a king: he had neither Ravenna s head for finance and diplomacy nor the ability to listen intelligently to advisors who did. The fayre queen Moire had drained him of what Chapter Five 52 vitality and strength of character he possessed, leaving him bitter and old before his time. He had taken out his anger at Moire s abrupt departure on anyone in his reach, especially on Moire s daughter. Moire s daughter. No one directly in his power had mourned his death. Urbain Grandier, however, had no motive, at least not one that Thomas knew. Kade might be in league with the Bisran sorcerer, but discovering what she knew wasn t going to be easy. Dubell was looking toward the center of the stage platform, where what was left of the Arlequin had burned down
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into a heap of some foul-smelling dark powder. \\ Be careful not to step in that black powder,\\ he called to the servants who were warily clearing away the debris. Then the old sorcerer turned and saw Kade, whose curiosity had already led her ankle-deep into the black powder. She lifted her head, surreptitiously rubbed a stained bare foot against her calf and looked the other way. Dubell shook his head irritably. The his head irritably. The Albon knights had by now arrived in force. There were about forty of them in the gallery now, guarding the arched doorways and the terrace windows, pacing the musicians balconies, and watching the sorceress. The rest of their number were patrolling the palace with most of Thomas s men and the Cisternans. Behind the dais, Renier emerged from the wide oak door inset with panels of stained glass. It
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was the gallery entrance to the solar where the royal family had retired to fight things out. He walked up to Thomas and said softly, \\ Roland wanted to put her under arrest, but Ravenna has talked him out of it. Apparently she s in favor of giving the sorceress the audience she wants, and trying to settle it quietly.\\ Thomas thought wearily, Yes, thought wearily, Yes, Renier, tell me all about how the anointed King still can t win an argument with his mother. He said, \\ Really.\\ Renier either did not recognize the sarcasm or ignored it out of habit. \\ My guess is they ll give her the audience.\\ Thomas eyed him. \\ Very likely. I suppose, in the long run, it is better than going to war with her in the middle of the palace, killing everyone who stumbles into the way.\\
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As Galen Dubell turned back to them, Renier asked, \\ Dr. Dubell, could you tell what that creature was?\\ The old sorcerer nodded, gesturing back toward the ruin of the stage. \\ It wasn t fay. It was a construction of wood and animal bone, animated by a very powerful spell, very powerful spell, called a golem. I m not sure, but I imagine it was designed to resist anything the weight and size of a pistol ball. It s a relatively new technique which I believe will come in quite handy on the battlefield once it s perfected. Doesn t help at all for cannonballs, though. The combination of the weight and size…\\ Dubell recollected himself and shook his head. \\ But that is neither here nor there.\\ \\ How did it get past the wards?\\ Thomas asked, looking at the heap of black powder.
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Dubell met his eyes frankly. \\ I ve done some work with the wards, nothing that should weaken them. They shouldn t have let this creature pass through. I believe something has affected the ward structure, making the gaps their continual movement creates continual movement creates larger, making those gaps appear in locations predictable to someone. It would take an intimate knowledge of the construction of the wards, at least as great a knowledge as Dr. Surete had, but it would be possible. And, perhaps more disturbing, the spell that caused the golem to shape-change from the appearance of a man to that of the creature we saw here would have to be actuated by someone close at hand.\\ Slowly, Thomas said, \\ You mean the sorcerer was here, in the gallery.\\ Chapter Five \\ Or an assistant, who carried in the charm designed to trigger
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the golem. I have looked for Grandier s 53 power-signature, but the ether in this room is free of it.\\ Dubell nodded Dubell nodded to himself. \\ Yes, I believe it was only an assistant who was here tonight.\\ \\ What a chance to take,\\ Renier said sourly. \\ There was a Parscen witchman who tried to cause trouble last year. Surete said there was a disturbance in the wards, and had some of us come with him while he tracked it to the source. We found the witchman hiding in an empty house in the Philosopher s Cross, sitting on the floor and crying like a baby. Surete said he must have tried to do a sending against someone in the palace, but the wards stopped it and followed his magic back to him and took his mind away. We knew that he tried something
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because he had more witch-poisons and hair amulets on him than you can imagine, but it didn but it didn t help him at all.\\ Dubell s attention had gone back to Kade; his expression was worried. As well it might be, Thomas thought. Had the golem been activated by a confederate of Grandier s or by Kade herself? He nodded to Kade, who was still wandering the stage. \\ Did she tell you why she wanted an audience with Roland?\\ \\ No.\\ Dubell was silent a moment. \\ Her abilities here, in the mortal world, are not as great as when she is in Fayre, and it is difficult to fatally wound her with anything other than a weapon of iron, but… It appeared the creature was attacking her?\\ \\ Yes,\\ Thomas admitted. \\ I hope so, for all our sakes.\\ The door
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to The door to the solarium opened and one of the stewards emerged, looking harried and somewhat the worse for wear. He hesitated, then approached Thomas and Renier. He said, \\ His Majesty will see the sorceress now.\\ Thomas said, \\ Good. Go and tell her.\\ The steward blanched visibly. Thomas relented. \\ Very well, I ll tell her.\\ As Thomas approached Kade looked up, a strange creature not at all like the child he barely remembered, or the fifteen-year-old girl in the portrait. He said, \\ His Majesty will see you now.\\ She lifted her brows. \\ Will he?\\ \\ Yes.\\ \\ And I thought he would be so glad to see me he d have run out into my arms long my arms long before this.\\ There was a bitterness underneath the light irony in her voice. \\ You were mistaken.\\ \\
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I suppose.\\ She shrugged, abandoning repartee with a disconcerting abruptness. Thomas turned and walked back toward the solarium s door without looking to see if she followed. After a moment she caught up with him. \\ This isn t turning out right at all,\\ she muttered. Chapter Five He glanced down at her. \\ Oh? Who did you plan for the Arlequin to kill?\\ 54 She snorted. \\ You don t really believe that. And I don t know who sent it so you won t find out from me.\\ Her mouth quirked. \\ Her mouth quirked. \\ Oh, was I supposed to pale and let something slip at that point? I m sorry, I was thinking of something else.\\ Thomas didn t slam the door of the solar open with any more force than necessary, and bowed her in with elaborate courtesy. The old solar
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wasn t used much, and the three huge windows covering the further wall had already been shuttered by painted panels in preparation for winter. The scene on the panels was a lurid traditional hunting landscape, subtly at odds with the other paintings on the oak-sheathed walls, the hangings of brocaded satin and striped silk, and the delicately carved furniture. Thomas remembered that this room was one of those that had been redecorated after the death of Roland s father; the painted panels reflected the old king s old king s taste, and had probably been left unaltered by mistake. He thought Ravenna might have chosen the room for that rather than its convenience to the gallery. Roland was slumped in his chair in a sulk, Denzil seated beside him. Falaise s face was still a little reddened under the powder, as if she had been weeping
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from anger rather than hysteria. She had chestnut hair and blue eyes, and her natural prettiness had been transformed by her coiffure and costume into fashionable beauty. She wore a blue gown trimmed with gold ribbons and seed pearls, and against the somber colors of the rest of the room she looked like an orchid thrown into a dirty alley. Ravenna was the only one who appeared calm. Her hands were busy on her embroidery and she didn t look up at their arrival. There at their arrival. There was a stiff silence in the room and the dregs of a bitter argument lay heavy in the air. Thomas realized it was his duty to announce Kade, the steward having apparently seized the opportunity to escape. Sensing that calling her \\ the evil fay sorceress\\ would probably please her no end, he said, \\ The Princess
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Katherine Fontainon,\\ then moved to take his place at Ravenna s side. Kade s fair skin made her helpless against a sudden blush. Ravenna looked up and said, \\ How lovely to see you again, dear child.\\ Kade curtsied in what had to be an intentionally graceless fashion. \\ I m sure it s just as lovely for you as it is for me, stepmother.\\ \\ I m \\ I m not your stepmother, dear,\\ Ravenna reminded her calmly. \\ Your mother did not bother with the travesty of marriage with your father, and it would hardly have served the purpose if she had, because he was already my husband at the time. You know this, but it seems to please you to hear me repeat it.\\ In a whisper plainly audible to the rest of the room, Denzil said to Roland, \\ Cousin, this is
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all too dull.\\ Ravenna snapped, \\ Roland, send him away. This is private.\\ Roland glared. \\ I could ask you to send your paramour away too, mother.\\ In the ensuing moment of silence, Kade snickered. Thomas glanced briefly heavenward. Denzil looked at Roland in irritation as the implication in the unfortunate phrasing of the unfortunate phrasing of the King s retort sunk in. Chapter Five 55 Realizing what he had said and reddening faintly, Roland continued defiantly, \\ This is a family matter and he is the only one of my family who is truly fond of me.\\ \\ What a sad thought,\\ Kade added helpfully. \\ Sad, but true.\\ Roland stared at her, meeting her eyes for the first time since she had entered the room. \\ What do you want here?\\ Kade ignored the question. She looked to Ravenna, who had gone back to
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her embroidery. After a moment the Dowager Queen said, \\ And how is your dear mother, child?\\ as if her prepared greeting had never been interrupted. Ravenna had never been interrupted. Ravenna s expression was as polite as a judge passing sentence; Kade looked ironic and amused. \\ She s in Hell,\\ she said. Ravenna s brows lifted. \\ Wishful thinking, certainly.\\ \\ Oh no, she really is,\\ Kade assured her. \\ We saw her go. She lost a wager.\\ \\ My condolences,\\ Ravenna said dryly, as the rest of the room digested that. Kade had just reminded them all of her strangeness, and Ravenna had taken the point. \\ Now tell us why you ve come here in this unseemly fashion, as an actress of all things, bringing an enemy with you and disturbing our peace.\\ \\ What are you more worried about, that I
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brought you a battle or that I was with I was with an acting troupe? Never mind.\\ Kade shrugged, playing with the frayed threads on the edge of her sleeve. \\ I have quite a few enemies; I can t help it if they follow me about. As to why I m here…\\ She paced a few steps, not looking at them, hands clasped behind her back and the dingy lace of her petticoats swirling around her feet. \\ I just wanted to see my family, and my dear younger brother.\\ The slight emphasis on the word \\ younger\\ made Roland sit up and flush. Kade looked from Ravenna to Roland, her gray eyes passing over the quietly watching Falaise. This isn t turning out right at all, she had said outside, Thomas remembered. Ravenna just watched her, until Kade said, \\ Kade
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said, \\ I want to make an agreement with you.\\ \\ Was it agreement you wanted when you sent my court those cursed gifts?\\ Roland demanded. \\ How many of us have you tried to kill?\\ \\ Then there s the death of King Fulstan,\\ Denzil added helpfully, before Kade could answer. \\ His illness was very sudden, was it not?\\ \\ I see no point in resurrecting either the dead, or the rumors of years past.\\ The gaze Ravenna turned on Roland s cousin should have transformed him into stone. He only nodded politely at her. \\ Kade, what agreement are you–\\ Unable to contain himself, Roland interrupted, \\ Why would we want to deal with you, sister?\\ Contempt twisted his voice. \\ You ve threatened You ve threatened us, ridiculed us–\\ \\ Threatened? Oh, what a King you are, Roland.\\ Kade clasped her hands
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dramatically and said mockingly in falsetto, \\ Oh, help, my sister is threatening me!\\ She looked down at her brother, lip curled in disgust. \\ If I Chapter Five wanted to kill you, you would be dead.\\ Roland was on his feet. \\ You think so?\\ he said. \\ When you cursed the name of our family–\\ \\ You mewling idiot, so did you,\\ Kade shouted, her sarcasm abruptly giving way to rage. \\ You re lying; I never did. It was you who–\\ \\ Silence, both of you,\\ Ravenna said, but something in her tone told Thomas she told Thomas she had rather enjoyed the argument. Brother and sister stared at each other a long moment. Kade s hands were at her sides, curling into fists, uncurling. 56 Damn it, he s too close to her, Thomas thought. The Albon knight nearest Roland had eased
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forward, ready to snatch him out of his sister s reach. Then Roland turned away from her and threw himself down in his chair. Kade turned her back on him and walked stiffly to the other side of the room, her hands shaking. Into the silence Ravenna said, \\ You haven t said what agreement you want to make, dear.\\ In a voice almost a whisper, Kade said, \\ You make me wish I never…\\ She stopped, shook She stopped, shook her head. \\ Landlaw and courtlaw, stepmother. Landlaw favors the first-blooded child of the female line. That s Roland. But courtlaw favors the first-blooded child of the male ruler. That s me.\\ Kade stopped to watch them a moment, their silence, their concentration. She shrugged. \\ Roland s little ass is planted firmly on the throne. That gives him the advantage. And you base your
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power on landlaw, stepmother. You founded your regency on the rights it gave you. You keep your guard by its traditions.\\ She met Thomas s eyes a moment. He returned her gaze imperturbably. She went on, \\ But there are still those who think I should have been the heir.\\ Without looking up from her embroidery, Ravenna said, \\ Do you want to be Queen, dear? When you were fifteen you you were fifteen you said you didn t. You spat on the throne and said it was a foul thing and you wouldn t have it as a gift. And yes, there are still those who would put you on it, or at least long enough to secure the succession for a more manageable candidate.\\ Kade shrugged. \\ It s caused you no more trouble than it has me.\\ \\ Then what is your solution,
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dear?\\ \\ I ll sign an agreement formally giving up my claim on the throne and any Fontainon family properties. Have your counselors draw it up.\\ She gestured eloquently at the King. \\ And I ll even stop threatening Roland.\\ Ravenna frowned. \\ And what do you want in return?\\ Kade was deliberately Kade was deliberately silent until Ravenna looked up at her. \\ The freedom of my old home,\\ the sorceress said softly. \\ That s impossible,\\ Roland said, his voice low and harsh. \\ Oh, it s hardly that,\\ Kade told him. Chapter Five Ravenna still looked thoughtful. \\ And what has brought this change of heart about?\\ \\ I have my own reasons.\\ Kade smiled thinly. \\ You don t have anything I want enough to make me tell you what they are.\\ \\ But why, dear?\\ \\ Because I want it.\\ Ravenna
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lifted her brows. \\ That isn t much of a reason.\\ Kade made her a half-bow. her a half-bow. \\ It s always been enough for you.\\ Have to give her that one, Thomas thought. Good shot. 57 Ravenna s hands paused on the fabric and she stared at Kade. Her voice hardened. \\ You don t know enough to judge me, Katherine.\\ Kade tilted her head. \\ Don t I? You ve always thought yourself fit to judge me. It s only fair.\\ \\ You are young, you know nothing, and life is not fair.\\ \\ I know enough, and life is what you make it.\\ There was a pause. Ravenna said quietly, \\ If you are to stay here, there are proprieties that must be observed…\\ \\ No conditions. \\ No conditions. I haven t made any.\\ Kade smiled. \\
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It s only fair.\\ The whole idea was so unlikely it took Thomas a few moments to realize that Ravenna was seriously considering it. In a low voice, he said to her, \\ It isn t worth it, my lady. It s too dangerous.\\ \\ Very likely,\\ Kade agreed, idly twisting a lock of her pale hair. Thomas knelt beside Ravenna s chair so he could see her face. \\ Don t do it.\\ Ravenna looked at him, then regarded Kade for a long moment. Her opaque blue eyes betrayed no emotion. She said, \\ I accept your proposition, dear.\\ \\ No,\\ Roland said, his voice unsteady. \\ I forbid it.\\ Ravenna turned a Ravenna turned a basilisk gaze on her son. He trembled, whether from anger or fear it was difficult to tell, but said, \\ I won t have her here.\\ For a long
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moment the outcome was in doubt. Thomas realized he was holding his breath. The room was silent in suspense, as if they observed someone poised on the brink of a chasm. Even Denzil had lost his expression of detached amusement and watched the struggle in fascination. Then Roland s nerve broke. He pounded his fist on the chair arm and shouted, \\ I don t want her here! Damn you, can t you listen to me?\\ Chapter Five 58 It was a retreat. A shadow crossed Denzil s face that might almost that might almost have been disappointment. Ravenna started to speak but Kade interrupted her. \\ Oh, come now, Roland.\\ The sorceress smiled. \\ You have more to worry about than my presence here.\\ He looked at her uncertainly. \\ What do you mean?\\ She said, \\ The palace wards are still in place. I
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felt them when I came in.\\ She frowned thoughtfully and laid a hand flat on the marble veneer of the fireplace. She curled her fingers, drawing something out of the stone that was gray and wriggled. It came out with a shower of stone chips, but without leaving a hole in the mantel. Kade held it between thumb and forefinger like a boy with a rat, a spidery, boneless thing that struggled frantically. It was hard for the eyes to the eyes to fix on it. \\ This is a frid. It s harmless. It lives in stone and eats crumbs spilled on the floor. But it shouldn t be here.\\ She dropped it. It hit the hardwood floor with a splat, hopped once to reach the hearthstone, and disappeared beneath the pitted gray rock like a duck diving under water. \\ I d say the
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wards aren t proof against the fay anymore. You have a problem, stepmother.\\ Kade bowed to the room in general and was out the door before anyone could react. Roland leapt up and moved to stand over Ravenna s chair. \\ You have overreached yourself this time, mother,\\ he said. The protest convinced no one. His face was red with thwarted anger, but he had lost his chance to defy her. \\ Have to defy her. \\ Have I? What would you have done, Roland?\\ she asked, as if not terribly concerned with his answer. \\ Arrested her!\\ \\ And if she didn t want to go with the guards? Power is relative, my lord.\\ Ravenna let heat creep into her voice. \\ I thought I d taught you that if nothing else. Tell me you understand.\\ She looked up at him, waiting, while Roland stared
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at her. Lounging back in his chair, Denzil said, smiling, \\ Really, cousin, it s beneath your notice.\\ Roland looked back at him. After a moment he nodded. \\ Perhaps you re right.\\ He turned back to Ravenna, lips twisted with contempt. \\ Do what you like, mother; it doesn t concern me.\\ t concern me.\\ Then Roland turned and stalked toward the door, his page scrambling to open it for him and his knights smoothly surrounding him. Denzil stood and bowed to Ravenna with an ironic smile. \\ Congratulations, my lady. Very well played.\\ Ravenna looked up at him, her eyes opaque. \\ How old are you, Denzil?\\ \\ I am twenty-six, my lady.\\ \\ And do you intend to be twenty-seven?\\ Denzil s smile widened. \\ I depend upon it, my lady.\\ He bowed again and followed Roland s departing retainers. Chapter Five \\
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What a good idea,\\ Ravenna said to the room at large. \\ Why doesn t everyone go?\\ 59 When Ravenna 59 When Ravenna phrased an order as a question it was a good indication that her temper had reached the boiling point. Falaise started to speak, reconsidered, and stood up to let Gideon conduct her out. Ravenna s guards and attendants all moved hurriedly to wait for her outside. Thomas had started for the door when Ravenna said, \\ Stay here, Captain.\\ Unwillingly he stopped, his back to her, waiting until the others had filed out before turning around. Ravenna had shoved her sewing aside and was resting her face in her hands. The flicker of light from the hearth played about the red highlights in her hair and the metallic threads in the embroidery of her gown. Without moving, she said, \\ Don t look
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at me like that.\\ He like that.\\ He folded his arms. \\ I am not looking at you in any particular way.\\ \\ The hell you re not.\\ She lifted her head and rubbed her temples. \\ If she had been my daughter I d have married her off to the God-King of Parscia. Civil war would have been the least of his worries.\\ Thomas gave up pretense and let her see how angry he was. He leaned on one of the flimsy rosewood tables that looked so out of place next to the blood-splashed hunting scenes that dominated the room and said, \\ Civil war may be the least of your worries now that you ve let her in here. Before this she was taking out her revenge in small pieces, which was a damn sight better than what she than
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her off, maybe four. She was fifteen feet into the mud, minimum. They were right but he didnPt tell them. Instead he bitched about junk tugs about junk tugs and crap captains be- fore he agreed to three. He insisted on a flat rate. Fifteen hundred each. They would get her through the Sound and down to Pilotown, with a guarantee she would come free. TheyPd be there, but with no guarantees. They mentioned the com- ing storm and Howie told them it wasnPt their problem, the sea tug would handle the Gulf. They both hung up. Now the tough one L Lloyds. The paperwork had all been done from Brownsville L Hertzel, his Jew boss, was good at long-distance paper. He had no idea what these bastards were like to deal with in person. They were all paperwork and procedure. He
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and procedure. He focused on his angle. Georgey Fenton: He — 63 — got pictures on him once, pictures his wife didnPt want to see. The kind of thing to make you indis- pensable to an operation like HowiePs. He needed the inspection that afternoon. She was coming off in the morning. Fuck everybody. She was coming off. The phone rang while he smiled at the thought of Georgey that night. MGood morning, New Orleans Maritime Un- derwriters. May I help you?N Howie got stuck right away. MI want Lloyds. Lloyds of London. George Fenton.N MOne moment, please.N The wait music came on. Fucking bitch! Fucking bitch! Howie had a real problem with communication. Fucking, fucking bitch! The noteworthy part was how well he did it. The words kept rolling through his mind, fucking bitch. He knew he was a little out of his league. Fucking
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assholes! Suits were never his strong suit. MRobert Forster.N MUh, yes, Mister Forster. Howard Morgan here.N He straightened himself as if Lloyds had a camera in the room. MI wanted to speak to George Fenton. IPm with International Salvage, Brownsville, Hertzel Markovitz. I wanted to arrange a shipboard inspection. This afternoon if…N MName This afternoon if…N MName of your vessel, Mister Howard.N MMorgan.N Howie got the kickass feelings going again. MHoward Rupert Morgan.N Howie emphasized the Rupert in his name. Somebody once told him it had class. He agreed. — 64 — MOne moment, please.N The bastards were pushing it, trying to get him to fuck up. He steadied himself, fiddled with the remote control, flicking between porno movies. Love that Pierre L he knew how to live. One of the women on the television is teasing a black snake with her vagina. It was a
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big snake, and Howie was snake, and Howie was impressed. He envied the snake. He thought it cared, wanted to be a serpent himself someday. MIPm sorry, sir. I have no papers from Inter- national Salvage on the Howard Rupert Morgan.N MThatPs my name!N He grabbed his patience and lost sight of the snake. If the bastard had been in the room he wouldPve beat him. MIPm sorry Mister, uh, Morgan. I asked you for the shipPs name.N MThe Lady Inca. I think. Yeah. I mean yes, The Lady Inca. ThatPs it.N MOne moment, Mr. Morgan, IPll bring it up on the computer again.N There were two women on the screen now, a brand new movie. MYes Mister Morgan. I have it here. it here. Every- thingPs done but the inspection.N Howie braced for the argument. MDid you want to take care
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of that today?N Howie laid some momentary dead air himself. What kind of trip was this guy on? No argument? Today? Came around real quick, maybe he could work a bribe. Maybe. He grabbed the offer. MThatPd be outstanding.N Howie figured he owned the guy. MWe want to get her off tomorrow morn- — 65 — ing.N MIs she inspection ready?N MYeah.N He lied. MRight straight seaworthy for a burned-out derelict.N There was no response. Howie tensed, realizing he shouldnPt have gotten casual. He worked to He worked to cover himself, and sound se- rious over the phone. MA seaworthy derelict.N MI hope so, Mister Morgan.N Robert ForsterPs voice was sober, hinting at reproach. MWe donPt insure derelicts.N MOf course not. ShePs seaworthy. We put a lot of work into her.N He laughed. MShePs safe as a bank. Two very skilled crew to ride her.N Robert
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acknowledged none of it. MYour sub- mission says youPre taking her out through the Sound and into the Gulf proper.N MWhaPd ya think? Run her down the Missis- sippi? ShePs too big, nobodyPs that stupid!N MYouPd be surprised at the kind of subterfuge people involve themselves in to save a few dol- lars.N Howie bought the Oyou and me knowP tone. MI can tone. MI can imagine,N he responded, not certain of the word OsubterfugeP. MYou must have to be real care- ful with all the con artists runninP around.N Howie believed in a simplistic approach to deceit L do it. MShall we say five oPclock this afternoon?N MFor what?N MThe inspection, Mister Morgan.N MOh.N Howie was caught in the movie again. MYeah. Perfect.N He needed some more stimu- lants. MDoes George know where she is?N — 66 — MGeorge who?N MGeorge Fenton.N Howie started back
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ped- alling here. MHePs, uh, done other inspections. Just figurinP he knows the company knows the company and all.N MMr. Fenton is out of town.N The voice on the line was all business, calm and professional. MDonPt worry, we have many people here who can look after you. And donPt worry, wePll find you.N MWell shePs lookinP good, Mister Forster.N He lied so well, he figured he mustPve been born with it. MLookinP very good.N Howie killed the line hastily, could only handle so much of their bull- shit. He figured hePd done pretty well. The bas- tard made him nervous. What was that OwePll find youP stuff? It was eleven-thirty, and he pulled off the rags he had masquerading as clothes. All he had left he had left to do was the marine salvage for equipment. He de- cided to call
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them and throw it in the van when he got there. He applauded himself. HePd grab a few daysP provisions for the boys on the way out of town. He didnPt want them to starve. CouldnPt work a man on an empty stomach he mused. He soaked the thin forearm plaster from the dune buggy mishap and pulled it off while he sang. It had gone real good, he thought. He kept thinking about what a dynamite guy he was. He wanted a piece of ass, but business first. A pro- fessional to the limit, he praised himself. Besides, hePd get the ass tonight; remember ass tonight; remember to tell Pierre to keep a special reserve. Maybe hePd get a little blow too. HePd earned it. Maybe some booze for the boys. HePd take care of everybody, he figured, — 67 — he was that kind
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of guy. Out of the shower now, he popped the painkillers and speed again. He kept thinking about his men. Yeah, maybe even get them a lit- tle smoke for the cruise, a going away present. Why not? It was that kind of attitude that made employees love their boss. Yeah. He was on top of it right now. He had the brain, that was what made him the boss. That boss. That and the balls. — 68 — Los Hombres Restaurant Houston, Texas Monday Noon MIPm listening.N Hertzel was still settling himself. He was un- comfortable with the way the senatorPs eyes fol- lowed him. MRelax Henry. I just got here.N He pushed towards a defensive perimeter. MI perimeter. MI get a phone call from your secretary at one in the morn- ing telling me to be in Houston at twelve
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noon. No explanation. Nothing. Just be here.N Hertzel no- ticed the unflinching intensity of the senatorPs glare. He let his thin frame slump, looked for a little empathy. MI need a drink.N MIPm still waiting. YouPve got fifteen minutes before Luis Estaphan arrives,N the senator said. Hertzel waved at a waiter as if he should be hailing a cab out of town. MI have no idea what this is about, senator. Waiting for what?N MEl Salvador.N Hertzel placed his drink order, switched it to a double as the senator watched him carefully. MWhat about El MWhat about El Salvador?N Hertzel played it out, but his pocked face was changing color slightly and hePd started fiddling with the cutlery. — 69 — MDonPt fuck with me, Hertzel. Not today!N The senator remained intense, blood slowly rising into his face. MYou can talk to me now, Hertzel, or
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you can talk to Estaphan and his people on your own.N He leaned his meaty body across the table, voice lowering, flat and foreboding. MLuis Estaphan wants to meet you, Hertzel.N The senator took HertzelPs bony hand in his, pressed it knuckle- down on the table, hard. HertzelPs face showed the discomfort a two hundred pound man could bring to bear bring to bear on a set of fragile knuckles. MYou do know what IPm talking about, donPt you?N Hertzel wrenched his overwhelmed knuckles from the senatorPs grip. MYou do remember who Estaphan is, donPt you?N The company that baled out our little sal- vage operation? The company looking for legiti- mate businesses?N The senator shook his head with faithless disbelief. MIs there a problem with your fucking memory, Hertzel?N He leaned back from the table and stared mutely while Hertzel rubbed his knuckles and fid-
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geted from more than just the pain. The drinks arrived. Hertzel downed his while the senator kept wafting for an answer while he watched his partnerPs uneasiness. MEl Salvador MEl Salvador happened like I said it hap- pened.N Hertzel was coming around, had figured the terrain and had made a choice L lie through his teeth. MThe fucking Sandinistas blew it up, Henry. Estaphan should be happy. We made money.N He was whining his way towards self- righteous. MWe made more from the insurance — 70 — than the salvage would have got us if wePd towed her back! A quarter million more. You know it!N The senator kept the cold stare going. MWhatPs the problem, Henry? WhatPs the fuck- ing problem with this Luis Estaphan?N HertzelPs hands were moving as fast as as fast as his mouth. MHePll get his cut.
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ItPs in the books.N HertzelPd run his course. The senator sat for a minute. The silence lingered until it grew dramatic. When the senator finally spoke his voice had a low, strange calm in it. His face was set deadpan, MLet me educate you, my friend. This is Luis EstaphanPs restaurant. YouPre drinking Luis EstaphanPs Scotch. YouPre sitting at Luis EstaphanPs private table. You probably got here in one of Luis EstaphanPs cabs. Luis Estaphan owns a lot of things. Luis Estaphan owns you.N The senator paused to let it sink in. MBut make no mistake about it, mistake about it, Luis Estaphan is not a re- spectable businessman. But itPs very important he invest his money in respectable businesses. ThatPs what he thought he was doing when he took forty-nine per cent of International Salvage. And whatever happened in El Salvador two months ago has
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got the law chasing him.N The senator paused to make sure Hertzel was still with him. Twenty years ago, Luis Estaphan was an executioner. The Feds had him. He couldPve put half the Mexican American mobsters in Jail, but he didnPt. Today hePs a very important boss. HePs a very connected old man.N He paused again. MA very serious MA very serious old man, you asshole.N — 71 — The senator stopped talking because he was getting himself nervous. He waited, checking HertzelPs intake before he wrapped it up. MThe only thing different now Hertzel is the fact he doesnPt do executions anymore. Somebody does them for him L now. Hertzel bought into the point of view, his pock- marks showing a little more distinctly with the loss of color. MIPve got nothing to hide from the man. IPll tell him what happened, just like I
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told you.N The senator chuckled softly, cruel menace rid- ing through his voice. MHe thinks youPre fucking him, putting him at risk here. at risk here. He didnPt buy heat Hertzel; he bought a legitimate company. He doesnPt want people making problems where there shouldnPt be any. The senator leaned forward. MI know you let that idiot Howie blow that ship up down in El Salvador.N His eyes never left Hertzel. MIPve got political ambitions here, Hertzel, and IPm not backing your bullshit on this one.N He sat back silently and smiled. MWant another drink, big shot?N Hertzel glanced at his watch and nodded. He couldnPt see the entrance from his position at the back of the restaurant, but he knew something was happening. The place had taken on an air, a little extra silence, extra silence, the maitre dP straightening himself
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as he walked past with a quickened pace. Hertzel fought the temptation to turn around. He knew well enough what was happening. Instead, he finished off his second double. No need to look anxious, he thought. He forced himself to relax, — 72 — knowing apprehension could look a lot like guilt. The senator was nowhere near as discreet, shuffling and stretching, probably figuring he had less to worry about. He looked like he was won- dering if he was sitting in the right spot as he awaited the approaching entourage. Hertzel noted it and found it didnPt do a lot for his anxiety. But two But two doubles and he couldnPt re- sist. MRelax, Henry, itPs my ass on the line, re- member?N He enjoyed watching the bulldog-like senator step down from the number one spot. He ordered himself another double scotch. His confi- dence
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grew; he knew he could handle the situa- tion, no problem. Everybody liked money. MYou dumb shit. This is serious. DonPt play games with this man.N The shifty salvage dealer didnPt even notice the senator standing for the arrival of Luis Estaphan and his people. MSit down.N It was EnricoPs voice, LuisP lieu- tenant, and it came out from behind the two gi- ants preceding him. The senatorPs etched-in-stone smile did a quick fade. The giants walked The giants walked past him, checking the rear area of the restaurant as Enrico came up beside them, his five-hundred- dollar suit shimmering. MNow, stand up.N The senator pulled himself up from his chair again. MTurn around.N He obeyed and underwent a quick frisk. One of them returned from the back, indicated it was secure, and headed toward the front of the — 73 — restaurant. MYour turn.N Hertzel
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looked quizzical. MMe? You donPt need to search me, my friend. IPm a businessman.N MGet up!N What Enrico lacked in subtlety he made up for with nonnegotiable authority. MGet up and turn around. Now!N Hertzel got the Hertzel got the impact and buried further dis- cussion. He preferred nonchalance. MOkay. Suit yourself.N Enrico did, making a point of handling him roughly, spinning him back around close to his face. MSit down.N Hertzel sat. His introductions over, he stepped back as Lorraine, LuisP eye-catching companion, joined them. MMister Estaphan is not in the best of spirits. I advised him not to come.N She looked directly at Hertzel. MBut he insisted on meeting you, Mister uh -N MMarkovitz.N He stood and held out his hand. Finding no takers, he repeated his name. MHertzel Markovitz. And IPm honored.N He was flattered over the manPs desire
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manPs desire to meet him, despite his poor health. MI wouldnPt necessarily consider it good news,N said Lorraine. The disdain in the womanPs comment brought HertzelPs imperious thoughts down several units. But who was she? Some dumb bitch secretary, he thought. MWell,N he said, Mperhaps we could get on with this meeting?N — 74 — She smiled coldly. MBy all means.N She turned away as if he was never there. Enrico stepped back against the small parti- tion that separated them from the main dining area. He stared hard, moving quickly and in- tensely between the two of them. Cold and pene- trating, a bird of prey. Within minutes, of prey. Within minutes, Lorraine returned pushing Estaphan. Hertzel found the whole picture per- plexing, not what hePd expected of a big-time mob boss. MYou were expecting something else, Mister Markovitz?N Estaphan smiled weakly. MAl Capone, perhaps?N
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Hertzel laughed nervously. He started to stand, to introduce himself properly, got EnricoPs menacing look telling him not to bother, and went conversational instead. MItPs a pleasure to meet you, Mister Estaphan.N Estaphan nodded the acknowledgment and addressed the senator. MHow are you, Senator? Well, since our meeting last night?N MYes, thank you.N The senator was quiet, ab- normally so. When a glass of bottled water arrived by LuisP side, Lorraine held side, Lorraine held it to his lips while he sipped the tiniest amount. Everything waited while she helped him drink. She helped him with a lot of things. Hertzel glanced across at the senator, half-thinking the whole things a joke, some mon- strous gag the senator had cooked up just to mess his head. The senator refused to return the look, kept his eyes on the old man, where his bread got — 75
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— buttered. MI certainly hope I havenPt inconvenienced you, bringing you all the way up here for such a mod- est reason.N He was looking at Hertzel. MI wanted to meet the man who can turn a hundred thou- sand dollar salvage operation dollar salvage operation into a quarter mil- lion dollar insurance claim.N Hertzel said nothing, got confused, and glanced quickly across at the senator for hints. He got none. MWell, uh, I donPt know what to say.N He didnPt know which way the flag flew at the mo- ment, at least not on the basis of the senatorPs ear- lier input, input Hertzel figured might be no more than jealous sabotage because the old man liked his style. Hertzel thought he was figuring it. MNo need to say anything, Hertzel. May I call you Hertzel?N Hertzel nodded, smiled congenially and confi- dently. MMost people
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today are afraid to step out, to take a chance. But you, an entrepreneur.N He stopped for another sip. MAnd far MAnd far away. El Sal- vador. Very good. Very, very good. Reminds me a little of the old days. How exactly did you pull it off?N Hertzel couldnPt help acknowledging the com- pliments to his skills, couldnPt help putting him- self in the little old manPs lap. MNo big deal, really, Mr. Estaphan. One hundred thousand if wePd towed it back here, cut it up and sold it for sal- vage. A quarter million from insurance,N he winked at everyone, Mif something should happen to it beyond our control.N A self-satisfied smile — 76 — crept across his face. MSo my people -N He cor- rected himself, Mour cor- rected himself, Mour people blew it right out of the water one
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night. Blamed the Sandinista gueril- las.N Hertzel watched the old man chuckle, and fig- ured he was in forever. MIt was perfect.N He knew Estaphan was con- cerned about publicity, MCops nosing around a lit- tle, no big problem. It didnPt even make the papers up here.N The old manPs chuckle had faded by now. MI wanted to speak to you personally because I need to be certain we understand each other. I have many business interests, but the one I have with you is legitimate. Honest.N He paused and looked reassuringly at HertzeI. MThe trouble a couple of months ago in El Salvador, in El Salvador, I will let go. I can assume you didnPt know better. But if it ever happens again, any kind of trouble for me with the authorities because of my business interests with you and the senator L and you
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are a dead man.N Hertzel heard the word, dead. It got his at- tention, almost. HertzelPs biggest problem was his thinking everyone else was as full of idle talk as he was. MYou see, I like to reward people relative to what they do for me.N His leggy companion leaned over for no ap- parent reason, whispered. Luis Estaphan got a look on his face like a frail but ancient child at a premature bedtime. MIPm told my time is up. Age, you know. Medication, constant attention Medication, constant attention to these old bones.N — 77 — Enrico and the two giants started to scan the exit. Estaphan turned to the senator while the woman wheeled his chair from the table. MSorry I canPt stay to eat with you. You two enjoy. Any- thing you want, itPs on me.N He turned to Hertzel, his voice growing
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very diminutive, unobtrusive. MI want to thank you again for coming all the way up here on such short notice.N Hertzel stood up. MItPs no problem, Mister Estaphan. I had business here anyway.N He couldnPt say enough nice things. nice things. MPleasure to meet you. Appreciate what you said. Count on me any time.N Luis Estaphan didnPt have to stay long. HePd met the man who had crossed him, and marked him. He disappeared behind the womanPs body as quickly as hePd arrived. The restaurant seemed to unconsciously sense relief at their exit. Hertzel flagged the waiter, while continuing to sit there like a Cheshire cat, all pumped up and purring. MWell, letPs eat, Henry.N The Cheshire cat turned into a wide grin. MGuess you were wrong, eh? ThatPs the difference between you and me. IPm a businessman, and he is too. I
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I know what makes that old man tick. Business, good business. Smart business. He appreciated what IPd done because it made cash for him, even if it brought him a little heat.N He passed a menu across the table to his silent partner, one who was planning to get really silent if Hertzel didnPt get a little smarter. MYou, youPre a lawyer, and a good one.N He winked. MAnd a politician.N — 78 — The senator just stared at Hertzel, his face stony. MHertzel, if you fuck up again he said he was going to kill you.N He paused. MWhat about this salvage youPve got salvage youPve got going in New Orleans? Is Howie in charge of that? The man is fucking crazy Hertzel, you know that. HePs a loose cannon.N MKilling me is a figure of speech.N Hertzel leaned across the table like he
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was going to im- part some great wisdom. MHe had to say that, let his people know hePs the boss. But him and I, we understand. I made an executive decision and I made some money for him. Simple enough. IPll make sure we donPt get into any more cop and crime stuff. MWhat about the job HowiePs on now?N MNothing, nothing. I can control the guy. No problems with Howie. with Howie. He does what I tell him.N MDid you tell him to blow up half the port in El Salvador?N Hertzel paused before answering. MNo, not ex- actly, but I might have if hePd been able to get in touch with me, if itPd been the smart thing to do.N The senator broke off the stare hePd been hold- ing on Hertzel. MWell it wasnPt the smart thing to do.N He turned his eyes
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to the menu as he fin- ished. MWas it?N MOkay. Relax.N HertzelPd had too many drinks to just shut up. MNothing fishyPs going to happen again, not on the New Orleans job or any other job.N He raised his hands towards the silent sen- ator. MAnd I MAnd I can handle Howie. No sweat.N — 79 — A Marine Salvage ard New Orleans, Louisiana Monday, Noon HowiePd done well, loading up at the salvage yard for a good buck. A single grand to Jack got him everything he needed L survival gear to keep Lloyds happy and a dummy receipt to put a grand in his own pocket. Not to mention the couple of eighty-proof grams for his head. HePd already had a taste with Jack. It was good stuff. TheyPd jammed the van with every conceivable piece of equipment, some of it nearly
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of it nearly new. But not the drinking cans. TheyPd held gas, but he figured theyPd work as well for water. Besides, he would- nPt have to drink it. He had chain, about a half ton of it, all sizes, mostly big, heavy-link stuff, and the life raft. It would please the boys, he thought. It was a little small but seaworthy, never used. The safety stickers had expired, but they were like the food stores, best before. He liked himself. The coke helped. If Howie had a particular skill, it was acknowledging him- self. He was always impressed with the way peo- ple bought his bullshit. Without doubt, he thought, it was the single most powerful item in — 80 — — 80 — his repertoire L bullshit. He fondled the walkie-talkies Jack had thrown in free. Why not, it hadnPt cost Jack
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anything, and his boss trusted him. Trust was great, Howie thought. Besides, it was on the LloydsP list. They didnPt work worth a damn. So what? Nobody would notice until they were at sea. HePd talk up the life raft and the extinguishers. Howie got back onto the road, manhandling the burdened van back across the Pontchartrain, the body pounding hard on the frame every time the tires crossed an expansion grid. He talked to the van trying to convince trying to convince it to take him home. The method always worked L lead foot her into crisis, and then sweet-talk her back from the edge, just like his women. MCome on, baby. Love me. IPll never do it to you again.N The old shitbox always bought the lies. Just like his women. In his last marriage, his wife would wait with his kid in the
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sweltering trailer for days, weeks, once for a month, without word. HePd done it to her a lot. His bullshit dreams got her to follow him out of New Jersey. He used to give her the bonanza story. MThis is the big one, baby. After this there After this there ainPt no more worries for us.N HePd say. Eventually it stopped working. HePd figured it would wear out anyway, but he was free mileage until then. Women will buy anything, he thought. Until it got too used, like everything else about Howie. He noticed how he always thought about her — 81 — when he was sweet-talking the van into overwork and abuse. Sweet talk worked on her for a long time. It might still be working, if it wasnPt for the beatings. Not that she didnPt deserve them, he thought. The
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thought made him realize his drugs were wearing off. He started feeling the fatigue and ache moving back into him and decided he and decided he needed to drop some help, but he needed to eat something first. He was genuinely down on fuel. He felt around behind him, running blind as he looked back and pulled the first package he found. Oreos. He ripped them open and jammed several into his mouth. Gomez and BobbyPd better appre- ciate what he went through for them. HePd gotten them provisions and equipment and hePd done without. The skipper is always the last in line, he thought. He liked the romantic tone of that. A blaring horn motivated him back to his own lane. His stomach tried to throw the Oreos back up at him, but he fought it, compromised, and spit whatever remained in his mouth
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out the window. He out the window. He must be desperate, he thought. How can Gomez eat that shit? What kind of nourishment is that for a grown man? But it was cheap, and he smiled. He shopped with Gomez in mind. He bought Oreos, Pepsis, chips, hot dogs, hot sauce, some miscellaneous canned everything. Howie finally rolled off the causeway, screech- ing to a halt at the drive-thru menu. Time for some real food. — 82 — While Howie ate Oreal foodP, Bobby stood ex- hausted on the stern side of the last watertight door in the upper hold. HePd managed to wedge it shut with some shut with some makeshift tools. It wouldnPt seal, but at least it shut L something less than a labour of love. It wasnPt good enough, but it looked right. That was all they wanted. How
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did- nPt count. He dropped onto the catwalk that ran the perimeter of the engine room below. Covered in sweat and grime now, he was stripped to his un- derwear, an oily rag for a sweatband. He was weak from hunger and dehydration, from the labor, the kind that dried you up and wrung you out. The doors on The doors on the forward holds of both cargo decks had been relatively undamaged by the fire. But here, in her stern where shePd burned with se- rious heat, the real nightmare lived. The bulk- heads directly forward of the engine room had been cooked so furiously he could see the rolls in the walls. With the bulkheads that badly dam- aged, he understood the watertight doorsP resist- ance to anything resembling conformity. It would be a primary struggle to get them swinging, much less lashed shut
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into it, and
into it, and fight amongst themselves the rest of the time.” “Going to Tramora is foolish,” Symurall said stiffly. “My brother stiffly. “My brother has already seen their destruction. Another of us has gone to independently evaluate the situation.” “Don’t take offense, but a lot of people aren’t going to believe what dragons say. They need to see things with their own eyes.” They sat for a while, watching the grey waves against a grey sky. Alanora moved quickly, her breathing matched her steady footsteps, her thoughts calm and focused. So much to think about, and she needed to get home; time to do the former 48 while letting the latter burn away the stress of recent days. Kaylen could certainly take care of himself. Thinking of the captain brought the captain brought a smile to her lips. But she did not
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look back. The
look back. The dunes passed into sandy grassland and scrubby trees. Just to the west, Drakcaern stood dark against the grey sky. For a moment, she considered changing course; she hadn’t seen Tohkay for several months, and she missed the studious lizard’s company. He might even have insights into her dilemmas. But the urgency to get home drove her to continue south, toward her city in a mountain. She needed to reach home before her father learned of the newcomers. His reaction… she hoped she was wrong about her expectations. Lost in thought, she almost missed the huge shadow that passed nearby. Looking up, her blood froze. The dragon passed her, making a leisurely turn. Stopping, pulling the bow from her back, she nocked back, she nocked an arrow, and prepared to make at least one shot if it attacked. The dragon slowed; the delicacy of
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its landing surprised
its landing surprised Alanora, and for a moment, she admired the grace of such an enormous beast. While not as large as Symurall, it was an impressive being, even beautiful, bright turquoise stripes set against rust and tan. The eyes stay fixed on the woman, not blinking, though the iris changed shape. “You are safe, Alanora Ortensa,” the dragon said. “My name is Mahgrurra.” “How…” Alanora lowered her aim for a moment, and then brought the weapon back to bear. “How do you know my name?” “I know much about you,” Mahgrurra stated calmly. “You are the daughter of Oric Ortensa, Lord of Caerelon. You were born twenty-seven years ago; your mother, Elsha, died of frostfever died of frostfever four years past. Since that time, you have traveled often and widely in the company of Norgrim the dwarf and the See’ee’ah named Tohkay Ahtok. Now please
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lower the weapon,
lower the weapon, so we might avoid any annoying accidents.” Alanora stepped back, still holding the weapon at ready. “Who betrayed me?” “No one betrayed you. I have never spoken to Tohkay or Norgrim at length. Nor does Symurall know about your origins, to my knowledge. For the moment, accept that I have friends among your people, and we have worked to keep your secrets.” Alanora shook her head. “No. That’s impossible.” Mahgrurra snorted and laughed. “Did you think it possible to hide forever behind camouflage and masked scents? If I were a threat, your people would have been obliterated long before your birth.” A jumble your birth.” A jumble of racing thoughts refused to become anything coherent, and Alanora simply stared at the dragon. After a moment, she forcibly cleared her mind, returning the arrow to its quiver and shouldering the bow. “What do you
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expect of me?”
expect of me?” she asked calmly and deliberately. “I doubt this is a social call. You want something, so out with it.” 49 Mahgrurra pulled her head up, cocked it to one side, and blinked. “Symurall described Kaylen to me, and now I find myself faced with another human who is fearless.” “Kaylen doesn’t know what he should fear,” Alanora said firmly. “I don’t let fear rule my life.” “Obviously not, or we would not be having this conversation.” “Again: What do “Again: What do you want?” “My colony has spent almost three centuries protecting your people.” “Why?” “Does it matter?” “Yes.” “It was the right thing to do.” Alanora laughed. “That’s it? Pardon me if I’m a bit skeptical.” “It is the only answer to give. I do not wish to see our efforts fail now. Even dragons cannot maintain secrets forever. The survivors of
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Tramora will find
Tramora will find Caerelon. Your isolation will end. You must return home as quickly as possible, and keep your father from making a mistake.” “That’s what I was doing before you interrupted me. If you don’t mind, I have a long way to go.” Alanora started walking forward. A dragon’s paw was extended in front of her, its open palm upward. “You have got to be joking,” she said. “Time is of said. “Time is of the essence,” Mahgrurra stated. “In a few hours, I can save you days of walking.” “I don’t think my father is going to be very happy if I’m hand-delivered by a dragon.” “That is not a problem. I will deliver you to trusted allies near Caerelon. You can travel the remaining distance on your own.” The scaly, clawed fingers wiggled a bit. “A few minutes ago, you could have sent
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an arrow into
an arrow into my eye. I trusted you to think before shooting. Please trust me now.” Alanora took a step forward, hesitated, unsure as to how to mount, finally deciding to straddle the middle finger, legs dangling, her back resting against the palm. The fingers enclosed her gently; the proximity of great black claws made her heart race. The dragon slowly lifted into slowly lifted into the air. Alanora wondered what mechanism made it possible for such an enormous creature to float and fly. “Are you comfortable?” the dragon asked. “I guess so. The swaying is upsetting my stomach. Don’t be surprised if I get sick.” “Do not worry. I am washable.” 50 The dragon flew southeast. Alanora couldn’t decide whether to fear for her life or be thrilled by the view, and settled for a cautious appreciation of her circumstances. From the rapidly-moving perch in
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Mahgrurra’s paw, she
Mahgrurra’s paw, she formed new perspectives on familiar places as they rushed by below: grasslands and forests, fallow fields and crumbling structures, rivers and abandoned roads. A herd of six-legged ekkah-beasts whisked past, warily watching the warily watching the predator. Never in her life had she imagined being carried over the landscape by a dragon – or, at least, she’d never expected to do so outside its mouth. A world she’d traveled for years suddenly seemed much smaller. The reddish mountains of the Sanguine peaks loomed closer with each moment. Grassy plains were replaced by the familiar forests of her home valley. On a foothill of one mountain spur, she recognized a grey stone tower, its ragged demeanor designed to make it appear abandoned and dilapidated. Inside, however, were members of her people, on watch against any incursions of kehklik. Alanora nearly shrieked as Mahgrurra circled
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quickly behind granite
quickly behind granite peaks, and rapidly dove into a small valley. Before she knew what was happening, the dragon had stopped, and let her go. “That let her go. “That was… some ride,” Alanora said, wobbling and a bit dizzy. “At least you did not get sick.” “She wouldn’t. Not her,” came a gruff voice. A tall white-bearded man emerged from the trees, dressed in chainmail hauberk. “Good to see you, Mahgrurra. I must admit, I never expected to see Lord Oric’s daughter arriving in your company.” “Grehn!” Alanora said. “You know this dragon?” “Indeed I do,” he said, walking over to stroke the great reptile’s neck. “We’ve killed quite a few kehklik in our day, haven’t we, old friend? And shared some fine conversation, too, I might add.” “Yes we have,” said the dragon. “I must be going. You have much to tell each other,
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and my colony-mates
and my colony-mates should learn of recent events. The world grows more complicated with each passing moment.” each passing moment.” The dragon fixed its attention on Alanora. “I hope you trust me now. Great events unfold, and we must take care to guide our destinies. If you need me, I will do what I can.” And the dragon flew away. Alanora shook her head, and stood quietly, looking in the direction where the dragon had gone. “My lady…” Grehn began. “Don’t call me that. You’ve known me since I was a toddler. At court, I’m happy to be Oric’s daughter; with you, we’re just old friends, okay?” She gave him a hug. “I’ve missed you.” “The feeling’s mutual,” said Grehn, smiling. “It’s been what? Six months this time?” 51 “Almost,” she said. “I didn’t mean “I didn’t mean to be gone so
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long. You won’t
long. You won’t believe what I’ve seen.” “In the very least, you’ve befriended a dragon who’s taken great pains to hide her involvement in our lives. I can’t imagine what else you’ve seen and done.” Alanora laughed. “No, Grehn, you can’t. The entire world has changed in ways I don’t fully understand.” “Then I’ll break out some good ale and a bit of mediocre food, and you can tell me all about it.” They walked up the hill, toward the old tower. After a quick breakfast, Tohkay grabbed a scroll case and climbed to the top of the keep’s tower, hoping to warm himself. The days had grown cooler, and he wished for clear sunlight to warm his stomach. Still, his stomach. Still, being outside under grey skies was preferable to remaining within the dark keep. As he lay down in a comfortable section of the
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parapet wall, he
parapet wall, he noticed one of the reddish desert dragons nearby. It landed a few miles away and flew away a short time later, clutching something to its chest. Tohkay wondered what it was carrying, and if it was related to the battle on the beach. He was not entirely ignorant of events, having watched the Symurall’s lightning flashes on the horizon; the dragon’s intervention did not surprise him, and was, in fact, quite comforting. Earlier in the day, Kyazura had visited briefly, telling him of Norgrim’s survival. It pleased the lizard to know that the future held more arguments with the dwarf. From one of his pouches, Tohkay extracted pouches, Tohkay extracted his spectacles, looping the chain over his neck and settling the bridge across his broad snout. Much as events on the beach intrigued him, he was enjoying a chance to read his recently-obtained
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books without interruption.
books without interruption. Especially this book. A See’ee’ah scroll, dark-green symbols claw-scrawled on yellowed paper. Retrieved by Tohkay himself, from deep beneath the layered ruins of Roqat, written before Symurall and his siblings had been born, preserved in a remarkable sealed vault. The author was G’kossa, a legendary scholar whose works had been thought lost to time. And for Tohkay, it was better than a warm shaft from the sun. It was history, written by someone who had lived it. Tohkay knew the Story of Deliverance, as it was taught, beginning when the kehklik had grown aggressive, invading grown aggressive, invading the jungles of Wyvernrift, killing, destroying, leaving the See’ee’ah fearing for their very survival. Joah’tu, a brave and reckless See’ee’ah, rescued the enslaved wyvern Ethris, and together they’d flown across the Black Sea to the land of the 52 First Colony on Artorra. Joah’tu alone
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survived the journey,
survived the journey, and he returned on the back of a very young dragon prince named Garthonnex. Joining forces with his future mate, Narrahnjarra, Garthonnex had fought the enemy back to its home, ending the kehklik threat. Tohkay knew what the legend said, but he was much more interested in what it didn’t say. So many missing details, so many questions about where the kehklik had originated, why they had been peaceful had been peaceful for so long, and how the conflict had begun. The kinds of questions that Tohkay had once asked, and been told not to ask any more. He had come a long way from home to look for answers. He unrolled the scroll and began to read. Traveling east, Sytherek sang to himself; it was a composition he hadn’t worked on in decades, yet it flowed again. Serendipitous possibilities fed a dozen
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threads of thought,
threads of thought, opening long-forgotten reflections and deliberations. The music was the pleasant result of interacting considerations, and it pleased the dragon. He let the song trail off as he spied an ancient human ruin – the city of Tornaval, sprawled across the bluffs overlooking the wide River Evvon. Sytherek remembered the city as the city as it had once been, its streets filled with people, caravans moving on the cliff-side road between town and harbor, sounds of human industry and life drifting upward. Centuries after it had been assaulted, invaded, and abandoned, the human presence lingered in the rectangular shapes of roofless walls and the neat streets that curved up to the ruins of the central citadel. The observation fit well with the dragon’s ruminations; the depth of his thoughts almost masked the arrival of another. “Hello, brother,” said Kyazura, who slowed to hover beside
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him. “Greetings, sister,”
him. “Greetings, sister,” he replied. He pointed downward with one great claw. “Your dwarves have a camp below. I smell a hundred of them at least. More explorations of the past?” “Yes. I am here to see them.” “The humans will “The humans will be moving here, will they not?” “How did you know?” Her voice held an uncharacteristic tone of abject surprise. “I saw part of the battle. Our brother can be quite impressive when he unleashes his powers. And bringing them here is the obvious solution, if we do not simply eat them all.” “You are not angry?” 53 “Hungry perhaps, but not angry. Did you expect me to be?” When she didn’t immediately reply, he continued. “Of course you did. It would never occur to you that I might find Symurall’s actions both commendable and illuminating. It is time that he realized how
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foolish the Sanctagora
foolish the Sanctagora meetings are.” Kyazura remained silent as the two of them hovered above the ruins. Sytherek turned the ruins. Sytherek turned away and said, “I have not seen Vallahnoka and my family for many days. I am going home. Good fortune, sister. Tell Symurall he has my support.” Sytherek quickly left sister and ruin behind him, crossing the river to fly over wide grasslands. Remnants of abandoned roads drew faint lines across the prairie; a few ragged structures stood like tombstones in remembrance of long-dead villages and farms. He wondered how long it would take the new humans to rebuild – if they had the chance. A herd of horses galloped away at his approach; a quick hunt solved his hunger problem. The land beneath him was drier now, the soil brown, supporting only scattered scrub brush and stunted trees. Great pinnacles and plateaus
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of red and
of red and brown arose from the landscape, from the landscape, carved by constant winds. Sytherek soared, gliding, savoring every nuance of the air as he weaved between the monoliths. A bright spot on the horizon caught his eye, and soon resolved itself into a familiar form. The approaching dragon performed a barrel role, and then turned to parallel Sytherek’s course. “Tyreon!” Sytherek called with joy. “And what brings you out this way?” “I missed you,” the young metallic-lavender dragon said. “You were gone a long time. Mother sent me to look for you.” “Only so you would leave her in peace,” the father laughed. “Perhaps.” “I am glad you were a pest. Now show me how fast you are!” They raced toward distant mountains. Kyazura watched her brother recede in the distance. She then descended in circles toward in circles toward
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Tornaval. The ruins
Tornaval. The ruins lay neatly along the river’s bluff; in their center stood a hill, atop which lay the remains of a sprawling castle. She flew slowly around the curtain wall once, and settled into the courtyard. Around her, a few dozen dwarves were busy at tasks Kyazura only vaguely understood. A few stopped working for a moment to greet the dragon. “Lady Kyazura!” a gruff voice called. Two female dwarves approached from the direction of the largest structure. The older was dressed in a heavy leather apron covered in 54 dirt and soot, her long grey hair held in multiple beaded braids that ran down her back. The other, much younger, with brilliant red hair, wore red hair, wore a deep blue dress of heavy denim. “It is good to see you, Dorna,” Kyazura said, addressing the older woman. Nodding her head a bit, the
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dragon added. “Greetings
dragon added. “Greetings to you as well, Kalinda. I did not know you had joined your mother this year.” “I couldn’t keep her away,” Dorna said with false exasperation and a grin. “Kalinda takes after her father. Stubborn.” Mother and daughter laughed in unison. “I bring news of your mate,” Kyazura said. “He is nearby, to the northwest.” “Now there’s no surprise. He and Tohkay are visiting that brother of yours, aren’t they?” “They were. Norgrim is now assisting human refugees along the coast.” “Human?” Kalinda asked. “Did you say human?” “I did.” Everyone in the courtyard fell silent. On the beach, On the beach, Symurall raised his head. “My sister is coming.” Kyazura landed gently, in the surf, and walked slowly toward the man and her brother, water splashing high at her steps. “I spoke with Dorna at Tornaval,” Kyazura said. “She was curious, annoyed,
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and very understanding
and very understanding of the situation. They will help you.” “My wife never did like unexpected guests,” said Norgrim, who ambled up to the group. “Even if they are exotic.” “Exotic?” Kaylen laughed. “That’s one word no one has ever used to describe me. And what’s this about your wife?” “My lovely lady is Chief Archaeologist in the northlands.” Norgrim’s voice and posture displayed considerable pride. “Your daughter Kalinda is at Tornaval as well,” Kyazura continued. “They will prepare the river docks and assist in and assist in creation of shelters. Along the coast, we’ve seen a sufficient number of ships for carrying your people to the city.” “Possibly…” Kaylen said, starting to consider the logistics. “I have also met Sytherek,” Kyazura added. “Our brother observed your defense of the humans, and sends his support.” Symurall froze in place for a moment, his eyes growing slightly
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larger. A grumble
larger. A grumble started deep in his chest, and he opened his mouth; Kaylen and Norgrim jumped back. The sound 55 was reminiscent of vast boulders bouncing down a hill, crashing into each other in a chaotic rumble. “I’ve never heard him laugh like that before!” Norgrim yelled as the sound subsided. “Few things amuse me this much,” said Symurall. “My said Symurall. “My brother can still pleasantly surprise me after thousands of years. Did he explain his reasoning?” “No,” Kyazura replied. “I am simply pleased to find us united on this matter. With Mahgrurra’s support, we will have a majority –” Loud and angry voices came from the direction of the main camp. Kaylen started running. Drawing closer, he slowed to a trot. A crowd had divided into two nearly-equal groups; Jahsha and Jennur stood in their midst, toe-to-toe. “…my ship!” Jahsha was bellowing as
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severed one of
severed one of the creature’s legs, but didn’t slow it down. Climbing, the kehklik turned to make another pass at Kaylen; again it spat, and a black, tarry glob splashed against his leg. The cloth smoldered. Before he could swing, the attacker flew up and circled away. “Get down!” a female voice called out. Kaylen dropped flat on his stomach as the kehklik came at him again. He heard the twang of a bow, and barely had time to cover his face as the sand in front of him erupted. After a second, he opened his eyes, and saw a kehklik’s head only inches away, an arrow through one of the mirrored eyes. “You can get up now,” the woman said. “They’re dead.” He slowly rose to his feet and saw the
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“mute” woman kneeling
“mute” woman kneeling nearby, examining the body of a kehklik. She’d changed clothes since he’d last seen her, into brown leather and dark cloth, a large quiver on her back, a long, thin black bow in her hand, a short sword and knife hanging from her waist. “You don’t have two or three days,” she said. Her pronunciation of Erashi was odd, the vowels too aspirated, the constants clipped sharply. “Tonight. They’ll be here tonight.” She looked at him. “The correct response to having your life saved is ‘thank you’, by the way.” 33 The sand around her feet exploded. The jaws of a burrower clamped around her calf; Kaylen lodged his sword in its skull, pinning it to the ground.
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Its jaws sprang
Its jaws sprang open. The woman pulled away, cursing loudly. “Now we’re even,” Kaylen said, twisting his blade, just to be certain it was dead. “So who are you, and why didn’t Norgrim tell me about you?” “My name is Alanora,” she said. She pulled an arrow from a dead kehklik and returned it to her quiver. “Norgrim is just keeping my secrets.” “Like your ability to speak?” “If I’d have spoken, people would have known I wasn’t one of you.” “You’re the one who was watching me at the dragon’s lair.” “Yes.” She searched the horizon. “We’ve just bumped into a probing party.” “Symurall said we had several more days before the kehklik attacked.” “Dragons are arrogant,” she said bitterly. “They just think they know everything.” “Symurall doesn’t know about you, does he?”
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priorities. She
priorities. She had no trouble get- ting the duty sergeantPs attention. MIPm looking for Detective Barney Matthews.N She gave him her answers-only smile. MCould you direct me to him, please?N She found him on the second floor, homicide squad room. He engulfed her in a hug. MItPs the mermaid!N That had been her nickname when they worked the streets on opposite sides. They never locked horns on the street L she had too classy a clientele, and like any mermaid she could find the ocean easily. She helped him a couple times, though, when somebody was hurting people and needed to come off the street. And there were — 134 — the moments when he returned
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the favor. She hugged
the favor. She hugged him back. MAnd you. Still the big old whale.N She squeezed him tightly, kissed the side of his face. MSome things never change.N MYouPre still a beautiful lady.N He laughed with his own pleasure. MMy Missus should see me now.N Rachel joined in the laugh, hugged him hard. MRachel, this is my partner, Tom.N He looked at Tom. MOld friends, Tom.N He winked. MAnd if this ladyPs here, then therePs a reason.N MMy brotherPs missing.N Rachel wasted no time supplying her reason for being there. MSince when?N MLast night.N She paused. MWhen he didnPt ar- rive on his one oPclock flight from New Orleans.N
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MWell he could
MWell he could have -N MI came here, Barney, because you wouldnPt give me that Ocould haveP crap.N She stared hard at him and his partner. MI know my brother very well. WePve been in touch for a long time now, and often, at least twice a week. If he couldnPt make it, he would have let me know.N MWrite down his name and address.N It was the young partner, Tom. MIPll get it on the Telex. We should get something back in an hour.N MI like your partner, Barney.N She smiled. MHowPd he end up with you?N Barney gave her a look. MGive me that, Tom.N He took the paper and wrote in a priority code and
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addressed it to
addressed it to someone on the force there who owed him. — 135 — Tom went to get some coffee while Barney and Rachel went into a vacant office. He could see she was troubled and tried to keep it light. There was a lot for the Mermaid and the Whale to talk about, the old days. The talk only took the edge off RachelPs intuition. Barney eventually moved to the point. MItPs probably nothinP, sweetheart. Relax. Your brother probably met the love of his life.N It didnPt wash. MSomethingPs wrong, Barney. I know it. Oth- erwise Robert would be
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here or else
here or else I would have heard. I know it.N Her eyes gathered conviction. MIPm going, Barney.N MWait for the Telex.N He put his gnarled old hand on hers, buried her long, soft fingers in his palm. MLet the police handle it. I know youPll hit me if I suggest youPre overreacting.N She didnPt answer; let her eyes talk. He read it, smiled, and leaned back, ready to respect her insight. She was a gutsy lady L he knew that, knew she could take care of herself. MWait a bit, baby. LetPs see what we get back first.N MOkay, poppa.N His eyes locked in on her, the only person she knew who could call her baby
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and not end
and not end up cas- trated. MYouPve got it.N She acquiesced. MIPll go to the club and wait for the Telex.N She took her hand from under his. MBut if I donPt get something, IPm going.N MGood. WePll wait and see. No need to get sud- — 136 — den here, not yet.N He paused. MBetter yet, IPll call Le Clerc, the cop who owes me. IPll contact him personally. No need to wait for the Telex.N He reached for the phone as she stood up. MThanks, Barney.N MGo to the club and relax, the cops are on your case, again.N
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A long, low,
A long, low, rambling house, the front relieved by cornice and architrave, and an immense portico from which white stone steps, wide and worn by many feet, lead to the lawns and gardens, which are gay with bright flowers, intersected with old-fashioned serpentine walks; one would call it not inaptly a garden of roses, such were their number, such their variety and beauty. Great masses of rhododendrons, with the fragrant honeysuckle, sweet-briar, and lauristina lent perfume to the air. Some fine oaks, with beech and graceful locusts, gave beauty to the lawns; stone stables, with farm and carriage houses at the back, with paved court-yard, and kitchen-garden luxuriant in growth, a very horn of plenty. \ A lovely spot, an ideal home,\ said numerous passers-by to and from the modern Babylon. Alas! that the interior should be a
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very inferno; in
very inferno; in the library are assembled the family, for a family talk. Miss Villiers, to whom did we not give precedence, would trample on some one to gain first place. Timothy Stone, her maternal uncle, and Elizabeth Stone, his sister and Aunt to Miss Villiers; the latter by sheer strength of will, since her babyhood, has ruled at Broadlawns, even though, owing to disastrous speculation, the whole family were penniless, save for the large fortune of her step-mother, Miss Villiers lived for, moved and had her being for kingdom. Intensely selfish, and totally devoid of feeling, an apt pupil of her aunt and uncle, she regards all sentiment, romance or disinterested acts of kindness as mawkish, unpractical foolishness. A word of her looks. In height, five feet two, round shoulders slightly high, thin spare figure, a brunette
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in coloring; stony eyes
in coloring; stony eyes of piercing blackness, always cold and searching as though planted closely in the forehead to read one through, as to whether any of her dark secrets have been discovered; a hook nose, thin, determined lips; hair black as the wing of a raven; the back of her head covered with short, snake-like curls, the front was drawn back in straight bands, thus giving prominence to features already too unclassically so. As far as a man can be said to resemble a woman, so did, in looks and character, Timothy Stone his niece, save that his once coal-black hair is now white; his fishy eyes sunken, though keen as a razor; in height, five feet ten; of spare, alert figure, active as a prize racer, knowing as the jockey who rides him. Elizabeth Stone is
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an older counter-part
an older counter-part of her niece, save that she wears that fashionable mantle of to-day–the cloak of religion, in which, unlike her brother, she is so comfortable as never to allow it to fall from her angular shoulders. The library, an old-fashioned, cold looking room, furnished in black oak, everything being in spotless order, from books biblical and secular, to Aunt Elizabeth s hands, folded just so on her stiff gown of black silk, as to cause one to long for deshabille somewhere other than in the principles of those present. \ The only one whom we have to fear is Sarah Kane, and you, Margaret, will keep her about the place in spite of all I can say,\ said her uncle, in crabbed tones; \ mark my words, you are housing a rod for your own back
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by your abominable
by your abominable self-will.\ \ I am no fool; did I dismiss her I should convert her into a deadly enemy at once; but, as I have before had occasion to remark, Uncle Timothy, that, thanks to your tuition and blood, I am quite able to take care of myself, and minus your interference.\ CHAPTER VII. 58 \ Don t squabble with her, Timothy, when the man Providence is sending her as a husband may be in our midst at any moment; as you heard at the hotel, he is now in the city.\ \ Oh bosh, Elizabeth, keep that tone under your church hymnal, as I do; between ourselves it is slightly out of place,\ and he
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smiled sarcastically. \ No,
smiled sarcastically. \ No, Timothy, in spite of the sinful example you set me, I shall keep my lamp trimmed and burning; providence is very good to us in laying low of fever, at Montreal, Hugh Babbington-Cole, thus giving him time to repent, as also preventing his presence at the wedding of Margaret.\ \ At which you have been making mountains of mole hills,\ said her brother, grimly. \ Babbington-Cole could not possibly remember what Margaret and Pearl looked like in eighteen-seventy.\ \ Your memory is as usual convenient, Timothy, relentless time would have shown him the difference in years, of a girl just of age, and a woman of thirty-nine.\ \ Enough, Aunt Elizabeth,\ interrupted her niece, pale with rage, \ I simply won t allow you to
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There was, indeed,
There was, indeed, a kind of boyish compact between us, that we should support each other through all difficulties. This, as I remembered, dated back to our prep school-days and had been reinforced by a fearsome oath, inspired doubtless by some dark fiction that had captivated our youthful imaginations. His failure to tell me of his summer abroad or of his interest in the Hollisters when I had afforded him so excellent an opening by my reference to the Asolando emphasized the seriousness of his plight. His reserve hid, I knew, a diffident and sensitive nature, and it was wholly possible that if his affair with Cecilia Hollister had not prospered he had fled to his ranch there to wrestle in seclusion with his disappointment. My mind was busy with such speculations as I sped toward Katonah, where I found the trap
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from Hopefield Manor
from Hopefield Manor awaiting me. \ It s rather poor going over the hills; about five miles, sir,\ said the driver, as we set off. This sort of thing was wholly usual in the nature of my vocation. The flues in country houses seem much more willful and obdurate than those in town, a fact which I have frequently discussed with architects, and I had been met in just this way at many stations within a radius of fifty miles of New York, and carried to houses whose chimneys were provocative of wrath and indignation in their owners. This was the first week in October. There was just zest enough in the air to make a top coat comfortable. The team of blacks spoke well for Miss Hollister s stable, and the liveried driver kept them
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moving steadily, but eased
moving steadily, but eased the pace as we rose on the frequent slopes to the shoulders of pleasant hills. The immediate neighborhood into which we were wending was unknown to me, though I saw familiar landmarks. I am not one to quibble over the efforts of man to supplement the work of nature, so that I confess without shame that the Croton lakes, to my cockney eye, merge flawlessly into this landscape. It is not for me to raise the cry of utilitarianism against these saucerfuls of blue water, merely because the fluid thus caught and held bubbles and sparkles later in the taps of the Manhattaners. Early frosts had already wrought their miracle in the foliage, and the battle-banners of winter s vanguard flashed along the horizons. I rejoiced that my business, vexatious enough in many ways, yet afforded me so
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charming an outing
charming an outing as this. Presently we climbed a hill that shouldered its way well above its fellows and came out upon a broad ridge, where we entered at once a noble gateway set in an old stone wall, and struck off smartly along a fine bit of macadam. The house, the driver informed me, was a quarter of a mile from the gate. The way led through a wild woodland in which elms and maples predominated; and before this had grown monotonous we came abruptly upon an Italian garden, beyond which rose the house. I knew it at once for one of Pepperton s sound performances; Pepperton is easily our best man in domestic Tudor, and the whole setting of Hopefield Manor, the sunken garden, the superb view, the billowing fields and woodlands beyond, all testified to a taste which
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no ignorant owner
no ignorant owner had thwarted. The house was Tudor, but in no servile sense: it was also Pepperton. I lifted my eyes with immediate professional interest to the chimney-pots on the roof. It occurred to me on the instant that I had never before been called to retouch any of Pepperton s work. Pep knew as much as I about 15 flue-construction; I had an immense respect for Pep, and as my specializing in chimneys had been a subject of frequent chaffing between us, I anticipated with a chuckle the pleasure I should have later in telling him that at last one of his flues had required my services. My good opinion of Miss Hollister did not diminish as I stepped within the broad
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octaves. As the patterning
octaves. As the patterning force of the “All,” Solí has everything to do with personal identity and gender. His patterning force provides the vibratory harmonic upon which, each and every individual receives gender through a specific Runic Force, while at the same time, receiving personal identity. In this way, although the “Sound Essence or Hamingja is of the spiritual planes beyond the realms of dualism, it nevertheless takes on either male or female characteristics upon its transition into the material worlds of dualism. For this reason, a conscious entity will develop from one species to the next, then from one ascension or incarnation to the next as either male or female. Sometimes one’s past actions and/or attitudes necessitate a life experience in the opposite gender. Such a situation is often the root, or karmic cause of homosexuality. Therefore, when someone feels that he or she is
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trapped in the
trapped in the wrong body, it is probably true. As I stated in chapter eight, we often have to deal with karma that is not ours, so the individual may not even be at fault. As regards the creation of biological forms, there exists information which describes how quanta manifest DNA and cellular structures. I will dispense with the details, because they are embroiled in physics-related terms such as 1) Universal Unified Field; 2) Dimensional Unified Field; 3) Universal Merkaba Field; 4) Outer Auric Levels; 5) Morphogenetic Chakras; and 6) Morphogenetic Seed Crystals. We’ll suffice it to say here, that from the bodies we inhabit, to the planetary spheres in all dimensions, to solar systems, galaxies, and even the universe itself, electromagnetic (E.M.) fields serve as more examples of Soil’s structural patterns. Specifically, we are talking about how the tonal pattern of incoming energy (electro-tonal identity)
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enters the Seed
enters the Seed Crystal, and manifests itself in the DNA blueprint. The process is eventually described in terms of how the energy-identity enters the “auric capsules” of the body, and is then drawn through the lower chakras (hvels) and into the energy meridians linked to the body’s nervous system. From the nervous system, this energy passes into the endocrine system, the blood, and the cellular structure, to manifest form. Biological form is created and sustained through this continual process of energy flow from the multi-dimensional, Unified Field. Therefore, as more highly evolved entities, we inhabit bodies made up of other entities, or intelligences inhabiting the cells of the body. The quantum physics are certainly real, but they offer very little in the way of understanding who we are, and what makes us what we are; therefore, it is of great significance to understand the structure
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of the various
of the various dimensions that we call planes. Herein lays the source of the “subtle bodies” making up the Auric Field (known in Old Norse, as the Hugr). These subtle bodies make up the mind, the subconscious/ unconscious, and the storehouse of our lower emotional passions. This is what is generally left out of discussions such as the one above, regarding incoming energy-identities. The DNA blueprint mentioned above exists as a shroud around the physical body. Psychics, who claim to be able to view this, call it the “Etheric Body,” and state that it is the innermost layer of several, constituting the “aura.” This is actually a Sound Matrix serving as a DNA template, from which the physical body is patterned, with DNA also manifesting in the cellular structure. The Old Norse term for this is ‘Hamr.” At a more subtle vibratory frequency
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where there is a
where there is a mill, was once a famous spot for smelts, where they were caught by large casting nets, used at night by torch-light, but the town sewage has effectually spoiled the smelting. The pool below the New Mills was also a place where the smelts were caught in large numbers, but it is not so good now.\ [Picture: Thorpe Gardens] Presently we came to Thorpe, where a bend of the river has been cut off by two railway bridges, and a straight new cut made for the navigation. We took the old river, and Wynne was charmed with the view which then unfolded itself. The long curve of the river was lined on the outer bank by picturesque houses, with gardens leading to the water s edge, while behind them rose a well-wooded bank. In
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the autumn of
the autumn of 1879 this reach was found to be swarming with pike, and it speedily swarmed with anglers, who had generally good sport until, apparently, all the pike were caught. At intervals since, there have been similar immigrations of pike to this reach when tides unusually high or salt drive the fish up from the lower reaches. At the lower end of the reach is a favourite resort on summer evenings, a waterside inn, known as Thorpe Gardens, where we pulled up. Here there are also boat-letting stations, where cruising yachts can be hired. II. Just through the bridge, {29} we joined the main river again, and noticed several yachts moored against the bank, amongst which was ours. Wynne stepped on board, curious to inspect a Norfolk yacht, and
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he freely commented
he freely commented on her enormous counter, short keel, great open well, and tall pole-mast. In a short time we stowed all our belongings, and set sail–mainsail, jib, and topsail–the spread of canvas rather startling Wynne, who had only been used to sea yachts. There was a light north-westerly wind, and we glided swiftly away before it. But ere we had sailed a 9 couple of hundred yards, Wynne insisted on our stopping to sketch the White House, at Whitlingham, which, with the trees on the hill, the wood-shaded reach of river, and the huge brown sails of the wherries, formed a picture we might well wish to carry away. Wynne often stopped in this way, to the intense disgust of our man, who liked to make his passages quickly, and had no sympathy with artistic
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picture. In the spring
picture. In the spring they pulled the house down, for, as people said, it was a ruin. One could see from the street right into the room with the hog s-leather hanging, which was slashed and torn; and the green grass and leaves about the balcony hung quite wild about the falling beams.–And then it was put to rights. \ That was a relief,\ said the neighboring houses. * * * * * A fine house was built there, with large windows, and smooth white walls; but before it, where the old house had in fact stood, was a little garden laid out, and a wild grapevine ran up the wall of the neighboring house. Before the garden there was a large iron railing with an iron door, it looked quite splendid, and
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people stood still and
people stood still and peeped in, and the sparrows hung by scores in the vine, and chattered away at each other as well as they could, but it was not about the old house, for they could not remember it, so many years had passed,–so many that the little boy had grown up to a whole man, yes, a clever man, and a pleasure to his parents; and he had just been married, and, together with his little wife, had come to live in the house here, where the garden was; and he stood by her there whilst she planted a field-flower that she found so pretty; she planted it with her little hand, and pressed the earth around it with her fingers. Oh! what was that? She had stuck herself. There sat something pointed, straight out of the soft mould.
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It was—-yes, guess!–it
It was—-yes, guess!–it was the pewter soldier, he that was lost up at the old man s, and had tumbled and turned about amongst the timber and the rubbish, and had at last laid for many years in the ground. The young wife wiped the dirt off the soldier, first with a green leaf, and then with her fine handkerchief–it had such a delightful smell, that it was to the pewter soldier just as if he had awaked from a trance. \ Let me see him,\ said the young man. He laughed, and then shook his head. \ Nay, it cannot be he; but he reminds me of a story about a pewter soldier which I had when I was a little boy!\ And then he told his wife about the old house, and the old man,
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and about the
and about the pewter soldier that he sent over to him because he was so very, very lonely; and he told it as correctly as it had really been, so that the tears came into the eyes of his young wife, on account of the old house and the old man. \ It may possibly be, however, that it is the same pewter soldier!\ said she, \ I will take care of it, and remember all that you have told me; but you must show me the old man s grave!\ \ But I do not know it,\ said he, \ and no one knows it! all his friends were dead, no one took care of it, and I was then a little boy!\ \
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the door stood a
the door stood a guard watching the battalion entrain. \ May one get aboard?\ Stewart inquired, in his best German. The guard held up his hand for an instant; then the gold-braided station-master shouted a sentence which Stewart could not distinguish; but the guard dropped his hand and nodded. Looking back, the American saw a wild mob charging down the platform toward him, and hastily swung himself aboard. As he dropped into his seat, he could hear the shrieks and oaths of the melee outside, and the next moment, a party of breathless and disheveled women were storming the door. They were panting, exhausted, inarticulate with rage and chagrin; they fell in, rolled in, stumbled in, until the compartment was jammed. Stewart, swept from his seat at the first impact, but
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rallying and doing
rallying and doing what he could to bring order out of chaos, could not but admire the manner in which his bearded fellow-passenger clung immovably to his seat until the last woman was aboard, and then reached quickly out, slammed shut the door, and held it shut, despite the entreaties of the lost souls who drifted despairingly past along the platform, seemingly blind, deaf, and totally uninterested in what was passing around him. Then Stewart looked at the women. Nine were crowded into the seats; eight were standing; all were red and perspiring; and most of them had plainly lost their tempers. Stewart was perspiring himself, and he got out his handkerchief and mopped his forehead; then he ventured to speak. \ Well,\ he said; \ so this is war! I have always heard it was warm
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work!\ Most of
work!\ Most of the women merely glared at him and went on adjusting their clothing, and fastening up their hair, and straightening their hats; but one, a buxom woman of forty-eight or fifty, who was crowded next to him, and who had evidently suffered more than her share of the general misfortune, turned sharply. \ Are you an American?\ she demanded. \ I am, madam.\ \ And you stand by and see your countrywomen treated in this perfectly outrageous fashion?\ \ My dear madam,\ protested Stewart, \ what could one man–even an American–do against a thousand?\ \ You could at least—-\ \ Nonsense, mother,\ broke in another voice, and Stewart turned to see that it was a slim, pale
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